The Forbidden Cards
by MysticMew
Summary: The story of an older Sakura forced to make a choice that will change not only her life but those of many in the end. Side story series for the Soul Lights Continuum (CCSslight Slayers)
1. The Different Path

Title: The Forbidden Cards

Subtitle: The Different Path

Author: Matthias Engel aka MysticMew

Feedback: Solarsenshi@gmx.de

(Plot) Beta-reader: Ayrki

Status: Alpha

Fandom: Card Captor Sakura (manga)

Rating: PG(-13) (Nothing serious, really)

Category: Romance, Darkish and Drama (at the beginning)

Pairing: Sakura/Tomoyo

Timeline: Hard to pinpoint, begins years after the manga and then… well, you'll see. This story is part of the Soul Lights Continuum.

Summary: An older Sakura makes a fateful decision that will not affect only her lives but in the long run that of the whole planet and more.

Distribution: Soul Lights Continuum (), Shoujo Ai.com (www.shoujoai.com), ff.net (www.fanfiction.net), Mediaminer (www.mediaminer.org), Moonlit Nights (), ASMR (www.moonromance.net), others may follow. If you like this fic for your story, please tell me, I'm not likely to put stones in your way, but I like to know where it goes.

Legal Disclaimer: This story features two females romantically involved. If that is illegal where you are or entirely not your thing, turn around and leave now.

Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP and assorted companies, I claim no right on the characters and original storyline.

Story Disclaimer: The Different Path(c)2003 by Matthias Engel

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Foreword

Hi, there. And another new fandom for me. :) It has taken me awhile to get around and finally get into CCS. I am not sure myself anymore why I never was interested in it before since I do love CLAMP's work (a big Rayearth fan after all). But now I finally did read the manga (at least a fan-translated version) and I think I am rather addicted now. ;)

This story follows the plot of the manga. I have only seen the first six episodes of the anime so far (local, German dub) and quite frankly I tend to stick to the original most of the time anyway with facts. Often anime leaves out so many important things. This is important because there is a card in this story that I know exists in the anime but not in the manga. Try to forget what you know about the additional cards in the anime, it won't be the same.

Bear with me, I finished the manga recently and have read a couple of CCS fics. Compared to my knowledge about other anime/manga, I am still trying to get a clear grasp on the characters, their feelings and thoughts (an aspect rather important to my style of writing), so it might seem a little rough here and there. I hope you still like it. This has been produced in more or less one day… if I count together the hours. I began Friday morning and finished it later today, Saturday. It's hard to give a clear writing time as I tend to do with my other rare short stories since it hasn't been done in one session – so I won't.

Additional Note (March 2004): This is a prequel/side story in the Soul Lights Continuum.

Now enough with the intro notes. Enjoy!

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M&M DreamWorks Presents

The Forbidden Cards

The Different Path

A Soul Lights Side Story

Based on the works of CLAMP

Card Captor Sakura(c)CLAMP

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A lone raven was steadily crowing, the sharp, barking sounds almost like a fierce protector, a fierce protector of what lay beyond the metal fence on which he was perched atop. His eyes were gleaming – malevolent one might say – eying the trio in its guarded sanctuary with wary eyes. It probably thought no less of us than the usual disturbances that had taken a hold of not only this lonely place of eternal rest but the entire world… and probably much more. That was most likely of little interest to the raven as it sat, guarding, alone but never lonely, the spirits always a detached company…

I met the ruby eyes of the raven and held his gaze for a couple of seconds, satisfied only when the small creature nodded sharply once, emitting a low screech, turning away once again to look out for more… intruders. I smiled but the smile lacked emotion, bitter and twisted, barely even a ghost of what it had once been anymore. Where was no purpose for that smile anymore. For what would you smile if there was nothing left?

I glanced up into the midnight sky and the angry black and crimson-tainted clouds overshadowing every light. It had been this way for a long time now. And ever since a few days ago, that was all the world would ever see. Walking silently past the rows and rows of stones, marking the resting places of those that left this world already, I could not deny the thought that maybe those that already left before everything started were better off. They had left in relative peace, most of them probably content with their time spent here. I knew that sounded rather harsh but it didn't feel particular illogical.

I never quite liked graveyards. I think in my youth it was a mix of the silent longing for my mother whenever we visited her grave and the very atmosphere itself. Oniichan had forever sealed my fear of ghosts in place. Now, years later, I still felt a tiny shudder albeit knowing now that ghosts were not something you had to worry about – there were far more dangerous and scarier things out there. Now, leaving behind the neatly arranged rows of graves – the flowers everywhere already starting to wither and die from the lack of sunlight these days – I decided that I hated graveyards even more. I guess I never was someone who liked to say goodbye and this place had taken too much from me to feel even neutral about it.

I passed by my parents' graves, side by side, stopping for a moment to pay my respect and make sure that Flower's magic was still working. Continuing on I did the same with Touya's. Glancing to the side my more or less monotone features softened into an expression of compassion. Yue stood in silence, not moving, as if in prayer. Maybe he was, I couldn't quite tell.

Quietly slipping past him I went to the end of the row, two beautifully decorated tombstones were left, sustained by magic and protect from the darkness engulfing the world, like a tiny spot of light in an ocean of shadows…

Syaoran Li

1982 – 2001

Brave and courageous, he protected his loved ones until the end.

A spot of light that in the end wasn't much more than an echo, just like the light of the distant stars that reached us was an echo of a long time ago. You can see but you can't reach for it, because the moment you do, you only realize it is long gone already.

Daidouji Tomoyo

1982 – 2001

A light in the darkness, always there, always giving. She was our heart, taking the burdens we could not. Her rest shall be peaceful, for if anyone, she deserves it most.

A tear slipped past my eyelids, down my cheeks, before dropping to the ground at my feet unhindered. I thought I'd lost the ability to cry long ago, the endless pool finally drained dry. Yet, it still wasn't enough. The human heart was not made for that kind of torture, especially not such a young one, I mused. I could feel it even now, the soundless cry, like a crescendo bubbling to the surface to be finally released without sound because sound was incapable of doing the emotions inside justice.

For days I had cried myself to sleep afterwards, asking myself, wondering where it had gone wrong, what we had done to deserve this. Nothing, I suppose. We were all just pawns in the big game after all. It was our fate. Everything would surely be alright… as long as it was convenient.

I knelt down to trace the letters on the cold… dead… stone. One after another. Every word bringing a new emotion, a new memory. I let them wash over me. Years spend so innocently, without care, without the knowledge that everything would eventually be gone, far sooner than we could ever imagine. I had been so naïve back then. A part of me didn't want to regret it, but another part was filled with immeasurable guilt of the decisions I made so totally in disregard of the effect they had for those around me. These last nights I had contemplated, theorized what I could have done. But in the end, there was no simple solution. Even if I had known back then, I would have had to make a decision, people I cared about would still be hurt. It would just have been… a different path.

A happier path?

I didn't know. Even though the situation called for it lately, I never invoked the power to see the future. If I had known, I was sure, it would have been far more brutal. Clow had known his own death and could do nothing about it. Knowing the future was not the same as standing above it, of being untouchable. You could know everything but in the end, you also knew it would happen this way or another. And knowing that and being unable to do anything about it had to hurt far worse.

Losing Syaoran and Tomoyo had been the most painful thing that ever happened to me. I was sure I would follow them soon enough, but now a different option had presented itself and I clung to it with the same fierce determination that had sparked me, driven me onwards in capturing the Clow Cards as a child, the same determination that fueled every remotely important task in my life. I thought I lost it and maybe that was true in some sense. The feeling now was… different. Tainted, desperate. It wasn't the kind of belief anymore that everything would be alright because I wished it to be. This feeling was far more… radical I suppose is the best way. I would make everything alright, no matter the cost.

All that was left now was to make a choice. Then again, maybe it wasn't as much a choice anymore as it had become a decision already. I never thought I'd ever be forced to choose between them and ironically I never had to until now. But now it was inevitable… as was the decision I made.

Standing up, I fingered the tiny key chain and unclasped it from around my neck. "I'm sorry, Kerberos, Yue," I said softly as I turned away from the graves to face them. The two guardians looked at me startled, not quite understanding. I expected as much. Yue seemed impassive as he studied me, but he had turned away from Touya's grave to face me, silently trying to perceive the nature of my words. Kero-chan floated in place for a moment, obviously not quite sure how to react. He was confused, that much I could tell. I was never any good with reading emotions but I was sure he had to be wondering why I would apologize.

Well, he would know soon.

The tiny key flared in my hands. I didn't bother to call its power just yet. "Light, Dark," I said in a firmer voice, "come forth." Two cards appeared in the air before me. One exploding into bright, yet soft light and the other into dark, calming darkness, before both formed tiny, sprite-like figures, female in nature – though I never quite asked if they really HAD a gender.

The two souls of the cards knelt on one knee, heads bowed for a moment before glancing up to regard me respectfully with a compassion that always managed to warm my heart even in the darkest hour. They were bound to my heart, I knew as much. From all the cards, Light and Dark were closest to me. That is why I almost expected them to know the reason of their summon.

"What do you wish of us, Mistress?" Light asked in a musical tone that was comforting but sad at the same time. They knew what was going on inside me, I was sure of that. They always seemed to know my heart, probably better than I did myself. The turmoil in my heart and soul seemed to be as evident to the two sprites as if it was the most simple thing in the world. They never told me though, making sure that I realized my own feelings rather than making the decisions for me. That was for my best, I knew, but still I wished they would have helped me realize one thing earlier. Maybe I could have at least changed that tiny, yet so important aspect of our lives.

The graveyard was enveloped in silence, even the crow had stopped its shrill voice filling the area in almost periodically fashion.

"Take me to Time."

And the words shattered the silence like a thunderclap that had split Earth itself apart. Agitated the lone graveyard's guardian began crowing violently as if somehow completely understanding the impact of these words. I could swear Yue almost tumbled backwards, his eyes flashing in fearful understanding and… I didn't know, I was never really good with emotions, after all.

Kero-chan on the other hand was ready to explode, a myriad of emotion playing over his tiny face I didn't even try to categorize. He opened his mouth to speak, probably a lecture already on his lips, but closed it again at the desperately pleading look I send him. I could see a silent war going on inside of him and it was showing outside as well in the tremors shaking the tiny body.

"How do you know about…?" Yue trailed off, his voice with a note of anguish. Surely this had to seem like a déjà vu to him. Just like Clow, now me. The circumstances were different but in the end he… they would lose me as they lost their previous master.

I had a dream last night. I hadn't had prophetic dreams in quite some time, not even when the true horror begun. The dream hadn't been really prophetic either, more like a revelation, the key to a door, the last door, the final way out. A tempting way, wrought with more perils and hardships as seemed to be worth the trouble. But there was nothing left that would make it a risk. This WAS my last chance.

That is not what I said, I don't think the how really mattered to them anyway. Instead I focused on the two sprites again, wishing that I wouldn't have to explain my reasoning. I had never seen them as startled and frightened before which left me to believe that they hadn't exactly known my intent after all. But even though they didn't know the intent, the reasoning behind it was not lost on them. And while they denied me a lot of things they believed not to be in favor of my happiness, there was not a sliver of resistance now, as they spoke as one, "As you wish, Mistress."

I felt the power swirling around me. A beautiful twilight wrapping me in a cocoon. Reality was being bend all around me as ancient seals and powerful wards were unlocked by the duo's powers. It was as my dream had told me. Alone I would have never been able to break through, only Light and Dark held the key.

"Wait, let me go with you!" I heard Kero-chan shouting as the world slowly faded out around me.

"I will go as well!" added Yue fiercely.

I smiled, sadness and joy mingling. They had been so loyal to me. Especially Yue who had always seemed to regret choosing a new master albeit caring a lot about me. They had always been by my side, supporting me, no matter what. That was why I couldn't accept that offer.

"I'm sorry, Kerberos, Yue. The consequences would be to dire for anyone else to experience." I looked at them through the haze of now multi-colored light and managed – for a tiny moment – to bring conviction to the smile in my face as I wiped away a tear from my face. "Don't worry," I almost whispered, "everything will surely be alright."

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The shift was rather swift and I was surprised by how gentle the method of transport had been. Somehow, from the importance indicated by the heavy warding I had felt, I had expected a far rougher ride than that. Opening my eyes I mused that one without magic sight or senses would probably think they were still… in-between. But I could tell we had long left the pathway to this ancient chamber where one of the most powerful forces lay hidden, concealed, sealed so that it could never be used by anyone or anything. The repercussions were far too dangerous.

"Are you certain that is what you wish," asked Light, her voice thick with emotion as she stared ahead into the swirl of colors that seemed to be everywhere, making up every tiny inch of the chamber. I could feel the edges but I couldn't quite perceive it.

"Even Clow deemed Time to dangerous to ever be used," Dark added softly. "He couldn't destroy the card after creating it, so he sealed it away." Dark turned to me and put a hand on my shoulder. Her eyes were unusually thick with emotion. "Even if you are stronger than he ever was, there is no guarantee your wish will be granted. Time will choose whether to obey or not. You cannot force it."

I smiled ruefully. "If all that I've done so far was not enough to prepare me for this moment, then I have no right to be your Mistress." Closing my eyes, I held onto a single image from not long ago, the one thing that motivated me to do this, that left me no choice in the matter. "She's always believed in me," I said quietly. "They all did. I will put this right. I HAVE TO put this right. If it means sacrificing myself in the process, so be it."

I felt Dark pull away and opened my eyes to see her join Light a few steps ahead. "Very well," her opposite said and I could swear I saw a few tears glitter in her eyes. A small pang in my heart made me shudder. They loved me so much. Not out of respect or fear of my power as with Clow, but because I had always treated them as friends. They felt my sadness, my anguish at the loss I experienced and even more so… I knew without a doubt that they would support my decision without hesitation. This would be my biggest challenge. But I wasn't completely alone after all.

Suddenly the kaleidoscope of colors seemed to shift and then parted, like a giant veil pulled back. My senses flared violently, overloaded with the onslaught of reactions, the enormous power I felt from the presence floating in midair before me was hard to actually grasp. I could feel the magic radiating with a magnificence in which even Light and Dark, even Kerberors and Yue, simply paled.

Firming my resolve I stepped forward, the key still clasped in my right hand floated upwards over my outstretched palm. An almost eerie calm began to settle in my heart and even when the sprite-like figure above me turned a challenging gaze towards me, I only shortly stilled to return the gaze. We both knew why I was here and we both knew that I would not turn back now.

"Key," I started to chant the familiar phrase, my voice firm and strong, "that hides the power of the stars! Reveal your true power to me! I, Sakura, command you by contract! RELEASE!"

With a flare of power the key expanded, grew in size until it became a staff longer than myself, a golden star rested on top of it. I could feel the magic running through it. If there was one thing that I had really gotten good at over the years, then it was mastering the power inside of myself. Yet it had not been enough at the moment it mattered. This time I would succeed though. I would not fail, I could not fail. I had to succeed!

Time didn't bother asking questions or trying to scare me away. I barely had time to erect a defense but felt it torn to pieces by forces far beyond my comprehension. I staggered as my whole body was assaulted by waves of temporal magic, threatening to literally tear me apart. I sank to one knee, stunned, grasping tightly onto the staff. It was hard to concentrate, hard to form a plan of attack. How could I have been so foolish? I should have made a plan, I should have anticipated that Time couldn't be beaten by willpower alone. Time was a force nearly untouchable. What could the worldly elements at my disposal do against it?

Memories began crashing into my mind, too many to count or pick out a single one. Fond memories, sad memories, happy times, hard times. One moment though stood out like a brightly-lit Tokyo Tower over nighttime Tokyo. Tomoyo in my arms, dying. Syaoran was already gone, protecting us heroically but at the end even that was in vain. I hadn't had much time to grief for him but the memory still stung painfully, yet the memory of Tomoyo was simply overwhelming because too many emotions were caught up in it.

*I am glad to die in Sakura's arms…*

I hadn't been quite sure if I had really heard those words at first because the shock was too big and my disbelief to great. However, they had been there. And it had been that moment I understood. It had been that moment I understood everything. The realization had slammed into me like a bullet train at full speed and it HURT. Kami-sama, it still hurt and would never stop hurting. My mind had been weighed down and drowned by the feelings of shame and guilt, the terrible injustice I had done my best friend. I had been ignorant, even when I grew up, I never saw it.

Maybe I never wanted to see it. Tomoyo continued giving and giving. I knew something was bothering her but she'd never let me know, always brushed it aside. And what had I done? I had lived out my fairytale – that Tomoyo had so carefully helped crafting – right in front of her eyes. Whenever I had a problem with Syaoran I went to her, not knowing what I did to her. Yes, she wanted me happy and sincerely thought I was. I wasn't even disagreeing. I was happy. I loved Syaoron. But was that fair to Tomoyo? Was it even necessary to ask that question?

I could not give up! I had to make this right again!

The pressure began to dim and my eyes snapped open. All the Sakura Cards were surrounding me in a circle, even Light and Dark had joined them again. They were struggling to hold Time's power back and I could feel their struggle but also their souls joining with mine, fueling my determination as much as they shared my pain. Struggling to stand again, I focused my will, staring up at Time who impassively stared back, yet there was something… expectant.

*Time cannot be forced.*

Did that mean the card had to willingly choose to grant my request? How was I supposed to do that? Was there some key? Some particular aspect that needed to be met? Was it even worth pondering? I had made my decision and I would go through with it. I was the strongest mage in the world, I had to be able to do it!

"Everything will surely be alright."

That was my magic phrase. However, it had been Tomoyo who had fueled it. It was ironic actually. Only now that she was gone, I realized that it held little meaning without her here. How could everything be alright with Tomoyo gone? That had been another of the bittersweet realizations at that moment when I held her dying form in my arms. I did love Syaroan, Tomoyo hadn't been wrong there. However, she had made one crucial mistake. I did love her too. Not as a best friend but more. I needed her to be there, support me whenever I needed it. And I could always count on her to actually be there. Even after the engagement was official and the wedding announced, she still staid. Regardless of how it must have pained her.

Yet, while I loved Syaroan, there was simply no way he could compare to Tomoyo. No, I didn't mean that I loved him less because I certainly didn't. The feelings for the two of them were different and couldn't just be compared. However, there was one thing that set them apart. While I loved Syaroan and he loved me, he didn't need me. Tomoyo did need me. And – as bitter as it sounded – I didn't need Syaoran nearly as much as I needed Tomoyo. I never wanted to make a choice between them, however, this simple and at the same time astonishing realization made it all so much easier this morning, when I made my decision after the dream. It was hard and I wished I wouldn't have to, yet there was only that one path to take now.

The different path.

This would hurt people, it would hurt Syaoran and it hurt me already to do this to him. However, there simply was no other alternative. I could try to do it all again, preventing their deaths, but that wasn't fair to them either. Especially not to Tomoyo. She would continue to give and give, completely missing in her selfless love the one possibility that her own happiness might have had a chance to be fulfilled in the process.

A memory of Tomoyo with a look of utter faith in her eyes, telling me that she knew I would always be there to save her, flashed through my mind.

Rooting my wand firmly into the _ground_, I stood unyielding against the magical storm of temporal energy around the circle of cards. I didn't need words now. Without a single command uttered the cards spread out. The non-element cards formed a wider outer circle. Woody, Earthy, Fiery, Windy and Watery positioned themselves at the edges of the outer ring, thin lines of magic binding them together in a five-pointed star. Finally Light and Dark settled to my left and right, completing the perfect circle.

A white flare of magic engulfed the circle and expanded, pushing back against the enormous energies as I stared up at Time, trying to focus all my feelings in one last action. I wouldn't need more. Just this one thing. I had been so selfish already in my life, especially compared to Tomoyo. This wasn't for me. This was for her. I needed to set this right, to give back the happiness I had so carelessly taken without ever asking for the price.

"RETURN TO YOUR ORIGINAL FORM…"

The star on the wand flared brighter than I've ever seen it do before. Time had been always in motion ever since I laid my eyes on it, flowing through shapes, positions, ages… Now it stilled for a short moment, purple eyes gazing at me in now unconcealed expectation.

"And grant me this one wish," I whispered even though my voice still echoed clear and loud in the surreal chamber.

"CLOW CARD!"

White and golden light mingled, turning into a thick pillar of magical energy as I thrust my staff upwards, the wand touching the sprite form of the card. I closed my eyes at the brightness of the light and so I could only hear the whisper, like the wind rustling through leaves or water gently flowing in a lake, yet as vivid and passionate as an inferno of flames or as shattering as an earthquake.

"Granted."

And then everything fell into darkness.

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Gradually I became aware of sounds and other sensations around me. My head was still spinning as if I was on a sugar overdose or something. There was the soft, somewhat familiar ticking sound of a clock and the light in the room was still rather dim, so it had to be early morning, probably before dawn. I was sitting on the ground for some reason and my body felt stiff, tired and something was really off about it…

I blinked my eyes slowly, channeling a bit of magic to relieve the fuzziness in my mind enough to get my bearings.

My room.

My old room.

I glanced down at myself, noticing an almost finished teddy in my tiny hands.

Oh.

Well, I guess it worked. I was baffled though why exactly I actually… remembered. My initial plan had been to move back to that moment and act as something like a… guide for my younger self. Then again, I have no idea how time travel really is supposed to work – and there probably are not many people you can ask about it. Also, I knew there would be consequences – this might be just one of them – and I had learned that every Clow Card had had a different idea of how to use their magic in their own special way.

_It… worked._

The realization came a bit slowly. My mind still a little detached as the reality sank in. A soft smile tugged at my lips.

It really did work!

Alright, maybe not exactly as I planned but… I had been given a second chance.

"Sakura?"

I whipped my head around and saw Kero floating behind me a little uncertainly. He must have sensed something was off, probably the card's magic. As if on cue, there was a burst of light in front of me, startling Kero and making me look back. It was the Clow Card that fell out of midair into my waiting hands. Well, a Sakura Card now. The design had changed. I hadn't even tried to transform it but judged by the amount of magic I put into it…

"Sakura?" Kero floated over my shoulder, looked down at the card and almost fainted.

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I'm not sure how long I stood there, letting my mind drift. I had barely ever seen Tomoyo practice since choir and cheerleading clubs usually crossed and also later in Junior High and High School I never really seemed to manage. I decided that was a real shame and from now on I would make it a habit whenever I could find the time. Entering the music hall of our school I had stopped, nearly freezing in the doorframe before remembering to close the door behind me in order to not disturb the practice. I had come in right in the middle of a slow, almost melancholic song and my eyes had sought out Tomoyo like a moth drawn to the flame.

It had only been a couple of days in my old time that I lost her and Syaoran but it felt like a small eternity. I had always known that Tomoyo was flat out beautiful and thought it a shame that she didn't seem to have many suitors or always kindly refused them – due to reasons I was to blind to see. But God forgive me, she is gorgeous. Even now as a child the sight was breathtaking and somewhat ethereal. It didn't seem to be normal for such an angel to walk among us.

And her voice, her voice. I had always loved her singing. Whether it was a slow, emotional song or something faster, more… vivid, Tomoyo somehow managed to meet the expectations perfectly.

It was becoming a torture. I wanted to close my eyes and lose myself in the music, in the sweet voice of my best friend… and now suddenly so much more. Yet, I could not bring my eyes to leave her form for a single moment. I wondered if my reaction was a little silly but discarded the thought quickly. It had been living hell without Syaoran and Tomoyo there the last days.

Speaking to Syaoran had been painful. At least I didn't have trouble with getting to him at the last possible second this time. What Kero-chan had told me a couple of years ago – relatively seen of course – was proving to be true. The strength of one's magic was bound to the spirit, the heart, and was fueled by the soul. The transition into this younger body would probably only have the side effects that my body would have to accustom to the strain of channeling the kind of magic I had developed over the years.

Syaroan had been… understanding. Hurt… no, disappointed, but still understanding. I'm not sure if he knew about Tomoyo's feelings but considering how much everyone around me seemed to know such things before I could even begin to suspect something was there, I thought it a distant possibility. Saying "no" was still difficult to do because I hated to lie, I didn't even really lie to him. All that I could say was that I did love him but that there was someone else who I loved equally and who needed me more. We had promised to stay in contact and that was it. I would always treasure the memories of the future that I left behind, the times spent together, but I had made my decision. I had been living out most of my fairytale and I couldn't help but think it selfish after the recent events and after realizing Tomoyo's feelings. This time I vowed to be the selfless one.

Tomoyo had been so lost in singing that now, nearing the end of the song, she almost stumbled over a note as her gaze briefly gazed up. Her blue eyes briefly blinked in wonder – probably wondering why I was here and not at the bus station, seeing Syaroan off. I held her gaze until the final lyrics were sung. For once I could clearly read Tomoyo. She was confused. Usually she always had been able to read me like a book. However, now Tomoyo had virtually no idea what was going on. I had to suppress a giggle.

The song ended and a pause was called, giving me the opportunity I waited for. Waiting by the door, I followed Tomoyo's every step as she slowly approached my position. I admit I was a little nervous, tiny butterflies were doing flip flops in my stomach but I managed to control my nervousness. This is why I had begun this after all. To set things right. Time had granted me the opportunity, now it was up to me to use it. But had I really interpreted all this right? What if I ended up making a terrible mistake and once again totally understood someone's feelings for what they were not? What if Tomoyo really just loved me as a devoted friend? What if…?

_Gah! Get a grip, girl!_

I couldn't have been wrong. I never felt so completely sure about something. Besides, even if for some weird reason I had misjudged the other girl's feelings, I wasn't doing this out of pity. I would NEVER do that to anyone. Tomoyo wouldn't want that and I didn't think I could live a lie. This decision was based on the newfound knowledge just as much as on my own jumbled feelings that had finally began to make sense even to my usually dense mind. It had taken losing Tomoyo but I did understand now and Tomoyo was here. So, even if I had gotten her feelings wrong, I would love her nonetheless, unconditionally. Even if I had to be a selfless, supporting friend. Because that is what she had been to me all this time and she deserved no less from me now.

Mind and heart set, I pushed away from the wall, to meet the lavender-haired girl who still wore an expression of extreme puzzlement. But now there was also worry and something else I couldn't quite decipher.

"Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo asked tentatively, sounding as if she wasn't sure if it was really me. Then it hit me. She wasn't sure. As I said before Tomoyo always seemed to know me better than I did myself and she must have noticed the change. Physically I might still have been a ten-year old but mentally…

I met her eyes again, not bothering to try and hold back anymore. A moment of silence followed, neither daring to broach the subject. I was certain she knew that despite the difference I still was Sakura, otherwise she would have said so already. Finally Tomoyo's gaze turned worried again. "Did you see Li-kun? I tried to call you but…"

"I did," I said simply.

Tomoyo smiled that sweet smile of hers that with what I knew now left me wondering how much of it was fake and how much genuine. She was still a kid but even at this age Tomoyo always had been mature far beyond her years. "I'm glad. So, did you tell him your feelings?"

"I did," I answered again. Taking a deep breath I stepped a little closer to the other girl, my hands still hid behind my back, so that the young heiress couldn't see what I was holding. "And I do love him." Tomoyo's smile faltered for a very, very tiny moment. I would have never seen it if I hadn't known what to look for. I was certain now. "But there's someone I love just as much and who needs me more than he does."

Tomoyo tilted her head, again looking confused, there was a glimmer of… hope in her eyes but it instantly vanished again. Well, not for long, I would make sure of that. "Who's that?"

Ah, I didn't know that my friend could be so cute when she was baffled about something. Probably because I had rarely ever seen her like this. She almost never was surprised by anything. I smiled at her, for the first time in days – maybe even weeks or months – a radiant smile was brought to my lips and it was all directed at Tomoyo. I could swear the other girl nearly fainted. "You see," I continued, wishing nothing more than to plunge ahead and confess but needing to clear this up, "if it comes down to it, it hurt knowing that Syaoran-kun left but both of us eventually can live without the other. Syaoran doesn't necessarily need me to give his life meaning and neither do I need him for that. However," I fixed the girl in front of me with an intent gaze, "I don't think I can live without you. Can you?"

Tomoyo's voice was thick with emotion and I could see tears glistering in her eyes, a rather rare thing but I was certain they were more joyful than sad. "What… What do you mean?" she whispered softly.

Finally bringing around my hands I held out the neatly-crafted bear to her. My skills in sewing had improved a little and so I had found it easier to finish it… not to mention I did it a lot faster, leaving me enough time to talk to Syaroan and get here. Trying to convey all the honesty and emotion that I had tried to understand for so long and now finally did, I answered earnestly. "It means I decided that I want you to be my special person, Tomoyo-chan."

For a long moment the other girl just stood there, stunned and lost for words. When she finally reached out to take the bear from my hands, her own hands were trembling and I felt myself almost drowning in the swirl of blue eyes, moist with tears, resembling a whirlpool of emotions. I have never seen such joy in my friend's eyes. Not once. "Can… Can I name it Sakura?"

I smiled at her warmly. "No, you can't. I insist on it." And with that I stepped forward, nearly crushing my new namesake as I enveloped Tomoyo in a crushing embrace, full of all the love, the intensity of how much I had missed her. It was a little awkward for me at first since I was still trying to get used to being ten years again but I quickly relaxed in the close contact, cherishing the relief and the incredible joy crashing through me like a tidal wave.

"I love you, Tomoyo-chan," I whispered, my head buried in the silky, lavender hair I had always adored and envied a little.

Tomoyo sniffled a few times before she managed to reply. "I love you, too. Even if you are not exactly my Sakura-chan."

I smiled faintly and a bit rueful, pushing her away gently to hold her on arm's length. Making sure she was looking at me, I softly said, "I am your Sakura. A bit older than I should probably be, but being here with you makes me happier than I have been in a long time. Because of you, I can smile again. You are right, I am not totally the innocent girl you knew anymore but one thing I will always be…" Leaning forward I planted a feather-light peck on the lips of a pleasantly surprised Tomoyo who looked like she was going to light the entire building soon, judged by the bright glow of utter bliss in her face. I knew more wouldn't seem quite right. We were still kids, physically, after all. "I will always be yours, as long as you want to have me and even if you don't."

This time it was Tomoyo who pulled me into a hug without meeting much resistance. "I will always be yours as well. I never doubted you were Sakura and in the end it doesn't matter that you are a little different. I love everything about you, that never has been a question. Younger or older, it doesn't matter."

We stood there, right next to the door, locked in a tight embrace, not caring about the world around us or the stares of some of the other students. It didn't matter right now. Our hearts were one for this timeless moment, finally at peace and where they always longed to be. Yes, my decision had been the right one after all. I hadn't lied to Tomoyo either. I knew that with her by my side, I could gain back some of the innocence and freedom of my youth and with time the memories of the last days would dwindle to nothing more than a long nightmare that faded away gradually after waking. There would be consequences for my actions. I knew that much and Kero-chan had reminded me again and again after he found out but I was sure with my best… my girlfriend – another honest smile – by my side, together, we could face it all. After all, WE had a magic phrase.

Everything will surely be alright.

THE END

(to be continued)

Author's Notes

Well, that was fun. I seem to be getting better at short stories lately. Again, as I said in the beginning, it might be a little rough. A lot of my impression on the characters (especially Sakura since its her POV) came from reading the manga once and from some fanfics. I am still trying to build a clear picture of the charas in my mind.

I want to thank Heather (from Amazoness Duo) and G.P. again for their wonderful story "Dear Sakura". That had been the first CCS fic I read with almost the full knowledge of the manga in mind and I believe it will always influences my opinion of the characters in a way. I wouldn't say this was what prompted me to write this, but it helped immensely.

Anyway, I am aware that there are a lot of open questions. Like, what did happen in the original timeline? Or what are the consequences for using/capturing Time? Why has it been sealed away in the first place? I did leave all those unanswered. First of all it would have been too much to fit into a short story and then… it leaves me opportunities for sequels. :) *looks over shoulder* Maia (my muse) is probably already planning… *sigh*

That's it then. Feedback is always appreciated. Email is in the header (or probably linked anyway wherever you find this). I appreciate constructive criticism, positive or negative, but will never refuse simple feedback (like, "Liked the story").

Ja ne, yours

Matthias


	2. Happy Years

Title: The Forbidden Cards

Subtitle: Happy Years

Author: Matthias Engel aka MysticMew

Feedback: Solarsenshi@gmx.de

(Plot) Beta: Ayrki

Status: Alpha

Fandom: Card Captor Sakura (manga)

Rating: PG

Category: Romance, a tad bit darkish

Pairing: Sakura/Tomoyo

Timeline: Hard to pinpoint, begins years after the manga and then… well, you'll see. This story is part of the Soul Lights Continuum.

Summary: An older Sakura makes a fateful decision that will not affect only her lives but in the long run that of the whole planet and more.

Distribution: Soul Lights Continuum (), Shoujo Ai.com (www.shoujoai.com), ff.net (www.fanfiction.net), Mediaminer (www.mediaminer.org), Moonlit Nights (), ASMR (www.moonromance.net), others may follow. If you like this fic for your story, please tell me, I'm not likely to put stones in your way, but I like to know where it goes.

Legal Disclaimer: This story features two females romantically involved. If that is illegal where you are or entirely not your thing, turn around and leave now.

Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP and assorted companies, I claim no right on the characters and original storyline.

Story Disclaimer: Happy Years(c)2003 by Matthias Engel

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Foreword

The idea for this part was prompted a little by one of the reviews I got, wondering how Tomoyo's reaction to all this would be. This is a bit free after the concept "Scenes of the rest of their life" (well, okay, youth) or something like that. The story will be done in diary format with several short and some longer entries… we'll see, I never know this in advance. :)

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M&M DreamWorks Presents

The Forbidden Cards

Happy Years

A Soul Lights Side Story

Based on the works of CLAMP

Card Captor Sakura(c)CLAMP

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From the diary of Daidouji Tomoyo, aptly named "Sakura Musings"

April 13, 1994

Dear Diary.

It has been awhile that I wrote in here and I'm sorry for leaving you at such a crucial point where my dear Sakura seemed to be just inches away from confessing her love to Syaoran. The reason why I didn't get to write in here lately is that something really incredible happened. Something so incredible that it will also effect this diary.

For as long as I kept this, I have dedicated these entries solely to my one true love. The walking miracle that is Sakura-chan, trying to capture my thoughts on the beautiful girl that had captured my heart from the first day we met. But now, I can't write about Sakura alone anymore because the most joyous, unexpected thing happened…

But let me begin from the beginning, yes? It was on the day Li-kun was going to return home. I had already suspected of course that Sakura as was typical of her would only realize her feelings at the last moment. Not that I want to say that she is… indecisive. Sakura just has a hard time realizing her own feelings but you really cannot fault her for that. It is just as I told her a short while ago. Peoples hearts are hard to predict – even Eriol-kun said so. And usually it is hardest to understand your own heart.

But back to what happened. Since Sakura was expected to come to her realization a little late, I went and called her early. That was when the first odd thing happened. I was actually going to tell her about where she could find Li-kun but instead I only reached her brother and Touya told me that she was already out…

Going back to practice, I had pretty much shrugged it off and told myself that it didn't matter. If she managed on her own, all the better, even though I would have liked to help. All I ever wanted to be was a part of Sakura's life. Before Li-kun came along I used to entertain the hope that maybe in the future, when her crush on Yukito passed and we were both older, I might actually seize my chance and tell her. But it became apparent that Sakura and Syaoran were meant for each other and developed feelings that both were reluctant to realize and admit to. But that day, when I thought for sure that it would be Syaoran she would ultimately choose as her special person, I had to realize that with all that I deemed to know about Sakura, a person can neither predict someone's else hearts accordingly. I learned that sometimes if you think you know someone else's heart, you might end up surprised.

Back to events. It was near the end of our next practice session that I noticed someone watching me. You know that prickling feeling at the base of your neck? It got stronger and stronger and it filled me with almost giddy anticipation although I couldn't fathom why. I had ignored it for awhile, concentrating on the practice. However, it became too much and I finally glanced towards the entrance and there was Sakura.

I was so totally baffled I almost missed the next several notes. I would have bet all my insurance – and that is after all plenty – that she would have been with Li-kun at that moment. It was about the time when his bus left for the airport after all… I don't think Sakura ever managed to confuse like this before. I thought I knew my best friend and secret love so well but her appearance had totally thrown my belief for a loop.

But that was not the only surprise I should get. Approaching her in the pause, I immediately realized that something was different about her. Outwardly she seemed to be the same person but inside there was something so completely different that it startled me for a moment. I briefly entertained the notion that it might be Mirror or Illusion but was pretty sure that I would notice that. It was still Sakura, just… different… somehow.

Then Sakura told me she saw Syaoran off – as expected – and confessed that she does love him. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed for a brief moment. When I saw her standing there, I hadn't been able to help the thought, the hope that maybe… But that was crazy, illogical, Sakura and Syaoran were meant for each other and Sakura would be happy with him… Or so I immediately told myself again.

That was when Sakura really shocked me. While she loves Syaoran, there is a person that she loves equally but who needs her more. Syaoran isn't necessary to give her life meaning and neither is she for Syaoran's life. That is how she put it. Then she told me she couldn't live without me, though, and asked me if I could live without her.

Of course the question was silly, needed no answer and I believe Sakura had not expected one. But when her words finally sank in… I can't describe how I feel because I'm not sure if there are words existing in any written or spoken language that properly can describe my feelings in that moment and the ones that followed. I barely managed to find my voice in order to respond, asking what exactly she meant by that. Of course, the question was rhetorical. That spark of hope at seeing Sakura standing there, watching me sing, had exploded from a tiny star into a full-fledged super nova. The meaning of her words had been all too clear, yet the emotions suddenly welling up from deep inside me were overwhelming and hindered my thought process a lot.

Sakura told me she wants me – ME – to be her special person and gave me a teddy bear.

God, I was sure my heart would stop beating right there, frozen in this moment of perfect bliss.

But it didn't, thankfully, because I would surely have regretted if it did. Hearing these three words from Sakura, spoken honestly and with clear conviction behind them was a gift I would cherish forever. Oh, how I had longed for this moment. It hadn't mattered right then that Sakura might be a little different and it still doesn't matter. Nothing really mattered then and right now. Okaasan says I am "deliriously happy" nowadays. But who can forbid me that? Sakura loves me as much as I love her. Her beautiful, kind heart has chosen me to claim that special place only reserved for one person. How can I not be "deliriously happy" then?

It had been only later in the day that I found out exactly what had made Sakura change her mind and what is so different about her. The experience was quite shocking itself. Apparently Sakura had been traveling back in time by capturing a hidden Clow Card. She hasn't told me any details about the future she left yet and I won't pry. It is painfully obvious that whatever dire reason she had for this action, whatever had happened in the future, saddened her. It is in her eyes. When she thinks I'm not watching her – what I do most of the time anyway. There is something…haunted there. It pains me to know that my dearest Sakura had to go through such hardships in her time and would give everything to know how to take that pain away. But I will let her decide when she wants to tell me everything. For now what she told me that day at choir practice turns out to be the truth. She is beginning to be happy, more her old self again. I can tell it will be a long path though and by now everyone close to Sakura has noticed some changes but only a few seem concerned. Sakura told me that she could be happy now that she is with me. And she is happy. Genuinely happy. And I am the one that makes her happy!

So, what does that mean for this diary? Well, it is not going to be solely dedicated to my beloved anymore. Now that she has proposed to share her life with me, I will make this diary a dedication to OUR relationship. OUR. I still can hardly believe all this and if you ask me now about my exact thoughts, I think I am still not ready to form any remotely coherent ones.

It is becoming late, I will write in here some more at a later point.

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May 6, 1994

Yes, I've said I write earlier but a lot of things happened. Well, not that much but more like what happened has kept us very busy. While I never was opposed to the idea of coming out I am surprised at how fast it is happening. Interestingly neither Sakura's family nor my mother were really surprised at finding out Sakura had chosen me instead of Li-kun. I suspected at much but it still manages to make me happy. The least I wished was to cause Sakura any more trouble. It is apparently hard enough for her to deal with her time travel… aside from complaining about having to go back to school and learn all that boring stuff again! (she's so cute when she pouts!). No, the transition seems not to be an easy one, especially on an emotional level. Sakura is almost clingy ever since confessing to me. Not that I mind, definitely not. But it worries me. It's almost like she expects me to disappear any moment. By now, even without her telling me, I become firmed in my belief that whatever happened in her time must have included my and probably the others' deaths as well. My heart aches at how much pain I sometimes seem in her eyes and since we are sleeping over a lot I have woken more than once finding Sakura shaking with a nightmare. I wish I could take them all away but that's one thing I can't do. All there is left for me is to be there for the one girl I love and help her forget about the trauma that has driven her here and into my waiting arms.

Mind you, that sounds like she's a frightened wreck but that isn't the impression I want to give you. Those moments are rare and mostly private. Sakura is most comfortably opening up to me and that display of trust makes me love her even more… if that is even possible. Yet, the change is becoming obvious to anyone close to Sakura. As much as she tries to "act her age", this Sakura IS far more mature and the weight of her heavy past (or future, whatever way you want to look at it) doesn't allow her to completely fall back into her innocent self.

Do I love her less because of that? If you know me, you shouldn't even be asking that question. Even if she's older mentally and far from the innocent cheerleader that managed to capture my heart within a second of meeting her, she is still Sakura. There is something unique about her. Actually, there are many things unique about her. Like her big heart that seems to be big enough to include anyone who wants to have a part of it… and even those who don't. Or her fierce determination when she gets an idea in her head. Right now I am experiencing a whole new dimension of that determination all focused on me. It often leaves me overwhelmed thinking alone that Sakura's genki spirit will now always be focused on me and my needs. She's constantly getting me things, asking me what I want to do when all I really need is her. But Sakura is persistent about making me as happy as possible. And I am as happy as possible. Really, I am.

It appears I have come a little off topic. I was talking about her families reaction. Quite frankly if there had been any surprise, it would have been on my part if they actually had been surprised. Touya-san is always so observant and looks out for his sister. He never liked Syaoran much for some reason. I always thought it might be that on some level he wanted to keep Sakura close to him. Sometimes I wish I had such a protective brother. However, he seemed rather pleased after admitting to our relationship.

Sakura's father, Fujitaka, didn't seem overly surprised either. He just smiled and said he is happy for us and that we will surely take good care of each other. I suppose since he experienced the affection between his wife and my mother, it must have been rather hard even for me to hide my feelings – not that I tried very hard. Both he and Sakura's brother seemed just a little surprised at the suddenness though. Especially since it had been apparent lately that Sakura would choose Li-kun… Neither of them asked about this though or about Sakura's weird mood (she is a lot quieter these days).

Anyway, that leaves my mother. Well, Sakura is almost scared of her now, I think. About the way she's going on about how happy she is that we are in love and that we make such an adorable couple. Of course, her older mind must have figured out what happened between her and Nadeshiko by now but I must admit even I find my mother a little intimidating at times when she speaks about her late love (especially in association with Sakura's father)… and Okaasan is practically as fond of Sakura as she is/was of her own mother.

Our families aren't the only ones that know though. Sakura's public confession at choir was clear enough. Even if not everyone heard what was said, within the days talk around school had managed to make it pretty much clear to anyone. Rika, Chiharu and Naoko seemed a little surprised but otherwise were more or less alright with it. I think they are more baffled that Sakura's scores have become as high as mine and Rika's…

Apart from that everything is fine. We cannot complain, despite all those little things. I am sure, given time, Sakura will get over her experiences and settle into her new life. It still warms my heart to think that she felt obligated enough to choose me for that purpose and not Syaoran. I don't doubt her one minute when she says she really loves me. It's obvious in every action lately, there is no way someone can play that. Besides, Sakura has always been a very honest person, I am sure she wouldn't lie to me – or anyone – about such an important matter. No, Sakura and I are happy and I intend to keep it that way, forever if Sakura wants me to.

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May 20, 1994

We had our first real date today and it was a glorious event! We hadn't had found time to actually do something like this until now. Okay, if you read this you might say that we are just eleven… Normal kids don't have _dates_ at this age. True, I suppose. The thing is I am quite aware of some of the other kids at school saying how mature I often act and I won't argue with them there if they'd ever directly ask me. That has nothing to do with arrogance. It is more a good-natured confidence in my abilities. I have always had an excellent learning ability. Okaasan says that sometimes she thinks I have some sort of eidetic memory. I wouldn't go so far since then I doubt I would have to study at all for some subjects. No, I have always liked learning new things and ever since meeting Sakura I wanted to learn even more to help this magnificent creature through life. I realized quickly back then that for all her enigmatic abilities she was often a tad bit… naïve (I really don't like that word) and would need guidance in some areas and in others would need to be sheltered. Like a beautiful but fragile flower that will die quickly if not constantly kept in the right environment.

To shorten all that. I guess I have always been a little precocious.

As for Sakura. Well, she isn't the innocent girl anymore anyone knew. The other children have more or less gotten used to it but they seem a little… "weird out" to quote Sakura herself. That was to be expected too, though. No, given that in her mind Sakura was already seven years older than me, I believe you can grant her the right to go out on dates, right? I think she's having a harder time with some things about being little again than she lets on. I mean, I can hardly begin to comprehend what it has to feel like, suddenly being younger again, with a full recollection of being almost an adult. Must be really weird. I am helping her as much as I can and am amazed again and again every day at Sakura's ability to let her self be loved but also at giving back this love. I have never felt so… important before in my life. Why it is true that I am probably one of the smartest girls in my age class – Sakura not withstanding (but she has seven years in advance of me, technically) –, I can hardly say that I had much friends or other such social contact outside of occasional choir practice before coming to Tomoeda and meeting Sakura.

Meeting Sakura has been a blessing and that is why I will be eternally grateful and why I would never dream of rejecting her just because she's… different now. My love is hers forever and always. After all Rika-san is seeing someone older too (I have a suspicion Sakura knows from the looks she gives her sometimes but she won't tell), so why should it be different for me? Sakura is still Sakura. Seven years of life experience and maturity have not really destroyed what I love about her. Certainly not. There is a lot of sadness and pain but it is dulling, I can tell, and that is bound to have some effects on her personality. Like she's quieter, calmer, more serious. However, I have witnessed enough moments already that show that Sakura is still able to let go and simply enjoy the moment.

No, I won't… I can't love her any less. This is all a part of Sakura now. Besides, the new level of maturity doesn't only have negative effects. At times I actually find myself liking the older Sakura a little more since we are now able to communicate on a higher level. Not that she's suddenly become a genius but she certainly does know a lot more about life in general as the Sakura before the fateful day at choir practice. I will forever cherish her innocent self, yet I know it is not completely lost. In time I am sure she will be a lot like the old Sakura again. I'll take her any way she wants to be, that is for sure.

But I've been getting away from the point. I actually wanted to talk about the date! You see how much she is affecting me already, normally I would not digress from the point that much. Not that I am complaining, mind you.

Anyway, it was very beautiful. We had found ourselves a nice, sheltered spot at our all time favorite King Penguin park. It had been a warm, sunny day, perfect for a picnic for two (Sakura had to literally threaten Kero not sneak in and disturb us). I think I must have giggled like a little child with joy when Sakura proceeded to use Flower and create a bed of Sakura blossoms for us. It was so beautiful, so absolutely perfect!

We sat there for hours, talking or simply enjoying each others company. Sakura seemed to have made it her special duty to make this the perfect day for me. I am a little disappointed for not getting much to do in return but seeing how happy Sakura was just relaxing, being with me, it makes my heart flutter even now. For the first time since her time travel I think I finally saw her completely at peace. This is a very precious memory to me.

And then, as evening drew closer, Sakura somehow managed to find the perfect ending. I still can't believe she did that! It was all so amazing. I hadn't suspected anything when Sakura told me I had to hold tight onto her so that she could show me a special gift. Needing no reason to not comply with such a thrilling request, I was caught a little off guard than Sakura called for Fly. I had never thought she could carry me! (at least not that long) It was a little bit of a strain for her, I could tell, but she managed. And if the sheer excitement of being carried through the late evening sky hadn't been enough, just guess where she set us down!

At the top of Tokyo Tower!

We sat there for almost an hour, watching the sunset. It was a moment straight out of a picture… or maybe more like a famous painting. Oh yes, it was a little cold up there but I hardly minded. Not to mention that Sakura seemed to have the presence of mind to keep up a little fire magic all the time (she really has gotten A LOT better).

Once again I am not sure I can describe what exactly went through me when, close to the end, Sakura whispered to me an "Aishiteru" in a voice thick with emotion and followed that up with a short but sensual kiss. There is too much that is still waging inside of me like a hurricane and it is all too jumbled to put into words, nor would words do any of it justice. However, I can tell you for sure that if Sakura hadn't held me tightly the whole time, I am sure I would have fallen off the support beam we had settled on.

I am still so… thrilled! I have been trying to get to sleep for almost an hour now to no avail, so I decided to sit down and write all this down now rather than tomorrow. However, I am still much too excited. I wonder if I get any sleep tonight at all! Sakura is really an unique experience and it gets even more special than you are the single-most focus of her attention!

Dear Diary, I really AM the happiest girl in the world!

******************************

April 5, 1997

It's been a long time since I wrote in here. Almost three years.

Oops.

I guess life has simply been too good for me to write down anything. I have my tapes after all and all those wonderful memories of three wonderful years with Sakura so far which are far more worth than any recorded pictures could ever be. I can hardly believe it's been that long. We are both in our second year of Junior High now. I could tell you so many things now but I think I'd be sitting here all night. Well, it's Friday but still…

Oh, who am I kidding? There is a reason after all I actually remembered having that diary, I thought writing in here again would actually help me calm my mind and get things into the right perspective. You see, Sakura and I have reached a phase of our relationship that probably has to come for any couple one time or another. We had our first big fight just five days ago. God, I feel so horrible. It was so dumb and unnecessary and… I just… don't know what's gotten into me.

Maybe I should start from the beginning. I'm not sure where the tension really began to build up but I believe it might have been since we entered Junior High. There were just slight nuisances, beginnings of something that seemed to bother Sakura greatly. Tomoeda Junior High is a little different than the Elementary School… or it is VERY different may be a better way to describe it. The teachers are very strict as is the headmaster, the school prides itself with its good image and tradition. That posed to be a problem for us. Back in Elementary School everyone more or less took us for granted. We were THE couple, really. Everyone found it cute and romantic that we were together… well, mostly everyone. Now, now we have to be extremely careful around whom we can trust to show feelings for the other that are more than friendship. Within the first weeks at Tomoeda Junior High we learned the hard way that Japanese society might tolerate a cute crush between two young girls but if they turn out to be two maturing young teenagers who openly show their love for each other, then the alarm bells are ringing in some people's heads. It is a good thing our families stand behind us and support our relationship despite some of the harsh treatment we had to endure at the beginning. I swear Okaasan was ready to sue the school, Touya-oniisan right behind her.

Things settled down eventually and the initial uproar has blown over. Most people know about us but choose to ignore it. There are some rare people who actually try to support us – if not officially than at least in small actions (for example: giving leeway in the way of discipline or maybe giving a higher grade when one of us was in-between). So, not all people there are traditional man in business suits who'd rather improve their self-image than care for their students, but a lot of them are. And not only once had we played with the tempting thought of transfer. There were enough – more modern and open-minded – schools in the area and both of us were smart enough; money wasn't an issue either.

I think it's a bit of defiance probably. Not too mention all of our friends are there, even Rika who really could have gotten into a better school. But I can understand her well enough after finally figuring out that she is seeing Terada-sensei (who had – not so surprisingly – also transferred to Junior High, leaving me wondering if Rika followed him or he followed her!). That was a bit of a shock at first but at the moment I guess we are sitting in the same boat, sort of, and neither of us is keen on budging. Society can be cruel sometimes, especially the traditional-bound Japanese one. While Western influences had lessened that, there still were a lot of old families with a lot of influence.

But enough about that. It has little do with the current dilemma since most of the drama had been in the beginning. I just mentioned it because some of it might have affected Sakura more than I initially thought. Why I still can't fathom but… Well, I hoped it would make more sense writing it down, however, it seems I am back to where I started from.

The confrontation had been coming a long way, I guess, and yet I felt so terrible about it. I had noticed that Sakura is spending more and more time by herself, only with Kerberos (and I think Yue too but I can't be sure). I tried to talk to her about it but she's always saying the same thing. "I'm fine, Tomo-chan, don't worry about me." Somehow this feels a little like déjà vu. I used to say things like that often when we were just innocent children. It irked me a little but nevertheless I respected Sakura's privacy. She is after all a lot older than me (in her mind at least) and sometimes she just gets frustrated with being young again. You would think it'd be a blessing for anyone, yet living it is probably a lot different, I guess. She won't tell me much about it… or everything concerning the time travel that brought her ultimately into my arms. Which brings us back to the root of the problem.

At first I could ignore all of this, believing it must be too painful to remember or to talk about and Sakura doesn't want to worry me. Then, about half a year ago, a little after my fourteenth birthday, she started to spend all those hours alone in her room at her house (where she barely ever is anymore, at least not alone). I am pretty sure it has something to do with the cards and in this regard probably with Time. I remember that Kero lectured Sakura again and again about consequences for capturing and using Time but my girlfriend never seemed to be overly concerned. And, as I said already, she won't tell me any details whenever I ask.

Everything came to a climax at the beginning of the week. It was April 1, start of the new grade and Sakura's birthday. I had spent practically the whole weekend preparing a special treatment just for my special girlfriend. I had hoped that would help relax her a little and maybe she'd open up to me. Not that I would have pressed.

I had everything set, Okaasan was on a business trip and I had sent most of the serving stuff home. I told Sakura to come over after her club practice (she's still doing cheerleading but most of it half-heartedly, she actually has joined the Choir club so that we could spent even more time together). And so I sat there, alone in the big house and waited for Sakura.

Sakura didn't come.

At first I became worried that something might have happened so I called her on our private phones, only to discover that Sakura had turned off hers, something I discovered she was almost always doing when working with the cards. I considered going over and looking for myself but something in me was rebelling and refused to just chase after my errand girlfriend. A feeling rather new and unusual for me. I usually tended to defend Sakura's actions even if I should by all standards be angry with some. For me Sakura's happiness had always been valued higher than anyone else's – including my own. Ironically enough, thinking about it now, the anger might be a result of Sakura's own doing. The brunette was so adamant about our relationship that she had practically made me speak my mind more often, whenever something is bothering me or I just need to talk to her, she made it very clear, that she will always be there for me, insisting for me to confide in her always.

I was still worried but I knew that if something happened to Sakura I would know it. I had known in my heart if she was in danger. Besides, she'd never turn off that phone other than for her magical studies that she was so secretive about. So I waited, and Sakura didn't come.

Next morning I confronted her before school. Turns out she "forgot"! She forgot about her own private birthday party with her girlfriend?! I might have bought that from the innocent ten-year old before the whole time travel incident but not from her, not now. And then she had the audacity to brush me off with a feeble apology that she "is not feeling well".

To quote Sakura: Hoe?

Sakura doesn't just simply feel "not well". My girlfriend is the healthiest girl I know, really. She's so full of energy that she's almost bursting most of the time. While it has been much more reserved since her change it is still there. It's something so typical Sakura that you can't miss it after having seen it once.

And what shocked me more and is still puzzling me is that look she gave me. Sakura almost seemed scared, not off me, but maybe something having to do with me. And that scared me in return. Having Sakura look so… lost… and as if the devil was chasing her (I really can't describe it any better) was disconcerting to say the least.

All throughout the day and the next morning almost no word had been spoken between us. I think that was the longest ever since we've been together and not separated by vacation or other things. And I swear the whole school seemed to have picked up on it. Even some of the teachers who usually loved to focus their attention on us made a point not to.

Tuesday afternoon I finally had enough. I was confused about all of this but I was also feeling uncharacteristically angry. I wanted to know what was going on. I didn't see what I could have done wrong and Sakura would neither speak up on her own or come over as she usually did. And that devastating silence was straining my nerves. So then, finally, I went over to the Kinomoto house and practically marched into her room (the look on Touya's face would have been priceless if I hadn't been in such a foul mood).

I had secretly hoped to find Sakura sitting on her desk, working with her cards or something like that. That way I would have at least had somewhere to start but that didn't stop or slow me down any. I think, analyzing it now, most of my feelings weren't so much anger as they were frustration, frustration fueled by worry and the uncertainty of what was going on with my girlfriend. She is the most important thing in my life and I think I deserve to know what is going on in her life. She told me pretty much the same after all. Doesn't she trust me with this? I was… still am a little hurt about that. Maybe it's unfair to feel like that but I really can't help it at the moment.

When I told her all that, told her that I wanted to know what was going on, why she was shutting me out from her magical studies and why she never told me about the future. I wanted to know, even if it might not be pleasant. I am sure she was trying to protect me in some way and I am grateful for that, but I am also still her girlfriend and couldn't just stand by letting Sakura worry herself all on her own.

I am still mulling over her response. Sakura actually apologized for being so absent lately and that she was doing very important things that had to be taken care off. And that there were some things she couldn't tell me yet… I swear I could hear the "I tell you if you are older" behind the words (again déjà vu) and that really leaves me puzzled. Sakura rarely makes comments likes that or treats anyone as if she is really those seven years older. And it's not just an act but rather genuine from what I can tell.

Before I could come up with any sort of response she had gently but persistently made me leave, saying she had some things to do, alone, and that right now she couldn't be distracted. And THAT really hurt. It felt like Sakura was purposefully trying to put distance between us. As if she was afraid that something might happen if we were too close right now.

I have the very distinct feeling that I am missing something obvious here but I just can't put my finger on it.

This had been about three days ago and apart from sporadic talk in school, there had been a deep wedge between us and I simply felt terrible about it. Logically seen there was no reason for me to feel at fault but this state was becoming unbearable. Being so close to my one and true love and yet so far away… I feel like I am going to explode any moment now!

No, I didn't really feel at fault. However, I felt extremely worried and a little ashamed at my reaction. After all everyone had their secrets, so why should Sakura be an exception. How could I know that with my intense reaction I might have even made it worse than it actually was? Also she had sacrificed so much by traveling back in time, she gave up Syaoran to be with me. I should by all means be thankful.

Yet, the fact remained that I was worried. For Sakura and for us. I feel very lucky to have such a fierce protector, nevertheless this had reached a point where I felt utterly excluded from things. Doesn't she understand that seeing her worried and in pain, pains me equally? How can she expect by shutting me out not to make me worry? I have to know what is going on and I will…

Yes, my decision is made. Tomorrow I will go over and find out what all this is about. I might not like it but that should be for me to decide. I wanted my girlfriend back, all the pros and cons about her, nothing less. I will apologize for being so angry but I will also make sure that she knows that I am worried about her and that all I want to do is help her. We have always been together through so many things. The school problems at the beginning of last year hadn't managed to drive a wedge between us, so I won't let this thing (whatever it is) either. Sakura has to realize that and I will make her realize it!

Reading back over that last paragraph, I think I sound rather scary… Hah, I feel a lot better now. Tomorrow I will make sure to fix whatever is burdening our relationship or at least to share that burden with Sakura. Thanks, Diary, sometimes it's nice to have somewhere to write all this down and analyze your thoughts. That really helped me today.

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April 7, 1997

Some time ago, someone – I am not sure who – said to me that too much wisdom, too much knowledge poisons the mind. It sounded like the words of a wise man then and even more so now. I wonder if I would have been better off listening to them…

Okay, that sounds very gloomy. There is enough motivation for that though. Thinking my dearest Sakura had to go through all… this… terrible… _things_. I had wanted to know. Now I knew and I feel a certain numbness and a deep sadness coming from that knowledge.

But I am not making much sense to you, do I? So I better start from the beginning.

My decision made I had wanted to go over early to Sakura and make her tell me about all that bothered her lately. That is where I got my first surprise, finding the demure and rather meek-looking brunette at my doorstep, appearing for all it was worth like a chastened child. I immediately felt sick in my heart, knowing that I was probably one of the main reasons for her state. After writing my thoughts down, I had lain awake for some time, regret beginning to plague me. Regret for some of the harsh words traded and the accusation I had so blindly uttered. I knew that something was troubling Sakura and that she just wanted to shield me from it. Certainly I hadn't done her a favor with my explosion of temper, as rare as it was.

Therefore I was quick to assure her that I wasn't at all angry with her anymore when she practically begged for forgiveness. I felt so terrible that moment, seeing her so lost and obviously torn inside. How could I have ever even thought that she doesn't trust me? The appearance she gave yesterday morning spoke more than the revelation of any secret how devoted she is to me, how much she depends on my presence and love.

After we had calmed down a little, Sakura asked me if I still wanted to know. She revealed that it might not make a difference anymore soon and she probably couldn't shield me from what was to come. As gentle as possible I made her see that I wanted to know EVERYTHING that was going on in her life. We were a couple, and couples share such things, they share everything. We were so close already and despite feeling like dirt at the moment, I hated to not being able to care for my Sakura properly, not knowing what it was that bothered her.

Sakura just smiled at me a little sadly but with more fondness and love I had seen her do in a long while. And then she told me. Kami, yes, she told me… everything! I sat there just listening, numb with shock over some of the things that were revealed to me that very moment.

I am not sure I should write all this down, I am not sure I even can. However, I feel that if someone ever reads this, they deserve to know about what that innocent, gentle creature had to go through, what kind of future she left behind by risking so much to come here and set things right. Set things right mostly for me. I don't think I really deserve that, I feel insignificant compared to Sakura's big heart. She had made clear to me that what she did wasn't done primarily in order to save the world from the terrible future she had witnessed but in the first place it was because of me. Her wish while confronting Time wasn't about setting things right for the world, that had only been in the back of her mind. Her sole motivation was for me and the love she felt she owed me. It's all so amazing and hard to believe, how can I even hope to compare to that with my meager devotion?

Still, I wanted to tell you of what happened in that future Sakura left and might as well do so. Everything started out as normally as you may expect. Sakura and Syaoran were happy. All three of us had stuck together all the way up to and through High School. It was after graduation that IT happened. No one on Earth at that time truly knew what exactly caused it, where the malevolent creature came from. However, when She began to emerge and reign terror on the cities of the planet it was like the very definition of hell, many brave warriors and magicians fell to Her infinite seeming power. In the matter of a few month the world became a place darker than night, filled with death and despair.

In Greek mythology there is a tale about a box that the first woman on Earth opened because she was curious. This box harbored all of the humanity's darker emotion. Fear, jealousy, hate, greed, bigotry (you can continue that list endlessly). The woman was named Pandora and the box had become known as Pandora's Box. I am not sure whether it is a coincidence, a connection or just the perverted humor of fate but the creature that had wrecked havoc in Sakura's future had been aptly named Pandora as well.

The little Sakura described about her still sent shivers down my spine, thinking about the emotions alone I saw in her normally vivid and cheerful eyes and heard in her soft, whispered tones. Fear. There was fear. Not anger or loathing or rage at the unbelievable things that evil creature had done to her and Earth. Those emotions were there too, but they were insignificant compared to the fear and the terror emitting from Sakura speaking of her experience. Eriol said that Sakura was the strongest mage on Earth now and to just think about something or someone evoking such strong reactions from my beloved is… unsettling doesn't even begin to describe it.

Pandora had turned Earth into a world of terror and fear and there was no one able to stop her path of destruction. Sakura described her as something very old, totally incapable of having positive emotion. Her whole being was a reflection, the epitome of any dark emotion you could come up with. Her whole purpose was to turn everything into oblivion in the most painful, torturous way possible. Her powers were so massive that compared to her Sakura's own seemed like comparing an ant with an elephant.

And the worst part is, Sakura steadfastly believes that the same thing might happen again very soon if she doesn't do something about it in advance.

That is what she has been doing the last months, using the cards to predict the future and possible chances to prevent the fate that had befallen her own time from happening here. I cried for Sakura's grief at her description at how Pandora had come for her as well and how she had to watch first Syaoran's death and then my own. She visibly relieved that moment and it was a torturing experience. I realized then that it must have been that moment that Sakura finally realized my feelings and that still makes me choke back an angry sob. That is not how I would have wanted Sakura to find out. I know she was caring so much for all those close to her and that she could never live with my death. That is why I had sworn to myself that even if Sakura ended up with Syaoran and we drifted apart, I wouldn't do anything rash and stupid. I know I would just make Sakura sad and hate herself and that is a thought I cannot stand.

I had to hold and reassure her for almost half an hour before she managed to calm down. I smoothed the embarrassment Sakura felt at having broken down like that immediately, making sure that she knows I would and will never do anything like this on purpose. Not that I have a reason now but it was very important at that moment to soothe those fears.

I wasn't quite sure what to do or say to soothe her fears about Pandora though. Sakura hadn't even done more when describing superficially what happened and I can tell where is a lot still left untold (which right now really isn't much of a bad thing). Just from watching how terrified the usually brave and determined girl was of that evil creature put me at a loss for words. What could little, unimportant me do after all? All I managed was that weak reminder of her magic phrase again. Everything would surely be alright. Yeah sure, I am quite sure I had said the same thing in her future and I know now that it hadn't helped a tiny bit.

Thinking along these lines I was rather surprised to find Sakura looking at me with a serious expression, a flicker of that breathtaking determination in her eyes. Then she said the absolutely sweetest thing. That this phrase held little meaning without me there. I breathed life into the phrase, gave it a purpose, a direction. That as long as I was there that everything WILL always be alright. And that because of me and us being together, my love fueling her, pushing me onward, she might be able to change the future and make it better for us. That is why she had pushed herself so hardly lately, to prevent all this from happening. For me.

ME.

Wow.

My expression must have been priceless that moment. But Sakura didn't express her obviously humor, just a fond, loving smile, followed by a kiss so sensual and utterly devouring I felt like I was being sucked right into her. My body is still shaking from the feelings coursing through me. I could feel all the pent up frustrations of the last months but also all the love she felt for me. I realized then that until that moment that as much as I thought I knew how lucky I was, how much Sakura loved me and was willing to give for me, I never had completely understood.

I am not sure if we can weather that storm. I really am not as much as I wish to fuel myself but… I will have faith in Sakura and if she wishes me to be by her side, supporting her as much as I can, then I will. I will believe in my angel, my savior. If anyone can do it, she can.

THE END (for now)

Author's Notes

Okay, this might seem a little cut off and doesn't explain everything, probably only serves to open up more questions. But that was wholly intended that way. I think I revealed already more than I wanted at that point anyway.

This is after all part of a bigger project, a background story so to say but you can read it as a stand alone as well (I hope). There will be one more part (split into two) that will tie things up for the background story and Sakura and Tomoyo's involvement. Seeing that Maia seems to have a good inspiration streak right now, you may see it sooner than you think.

Don't worry Sailormoon fans as I said this will tie into a bigger project and you will soon get to see something of it (always assuming Maia complies).

Some things to clear up.

First off, I changed a tiny amount of things in "The Different Path". No real revision but more little details that are necessary. I am a perfectionist than writing, especially concerning facts like a working timeline that makes sense. I realized that the birth year given for Tomoyo on her tombstone has actually to be one year earlier or she'll end up younger than Sakura. Why this might be possible, it doesn't work out for the timeline of the greater project. That's really all you need to know about the changes that really matter.

I hope I haven't made too much tense errors in this one. Writing diary entries is always a little difficult because you really have to watch what is reflection and what has to be present or future tense. I am not native (not that after all the time writing English I want to stick to that excuse) and don't get those stories betaed at the moment, so hopefully you can overlook some grammatical mistakes.

Anyway, there is really not much to say about the story itself. It was fun writing it this way, in diary format. That's the first time I did a story completely that way and I enjoyed it. I think I had less trouble writing Tomoyo than I had writing Sakura, hopefully you like the result. The next story will probably be a mixture of both.

So, see you at the next installment, hopefully some time soon. Comments are always appreciated and I wanted to seize the opportunity and thank all the kind reviewers for "The Different Path".

Ja ne, yours

Matthias


	3. Seal Cards: Epitomes of Love

Title: The Forbidden Cards

Subtitle: Seal Cards: Epitomes of Love

Author: Matthias Engel aka MysticMew

Feedback: Solarsenshi@gmx.de

(Plot) Beta: Ayrki

Status: Alpha

Fandom: Card Captor Sakura (manga)

Rating: PG-13 (with some scenes bordering on R)

Category: Romance, Action/Adventure

Pairing: Sakura/Tomoyo

Timeline: Hard to pinpoint, begins years after the manga and then… well, you'll see. This story is part of the Soul Lights Continuum.

Summary: An older Sakura makes a fateful decision that will not affect only her lives but in the long run that of the whole planet and more.

Distribution: Soul Lights Continuum (), Shoujo Ai.com (www.shoujoai.com), ff.net (www.fanfiction.net), Mediaminer (www.mediaminer.org), Moonlit Nights (), ASMR (www.moonromance.net), others may follow. If you like this fic for your story, please tell me, I'm not likely to put stones in your way, but I like to know where it goes.

Legal Disclaimer: This story features two females romantically involved with a few (hinted) mature notions. If that is illegal where you are or entirely not your thing, turn around and leave now.

Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP and assorted companies, I claim no right on the characters and original storyline.

Story Disclaimer: Seal Cards: Epitomes of Love(c)2003 by Matthias Engel

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Foreword

And it's time for the last one. This one will be done in two parts. That has more something with style than necessity though. This is the first part and this one will have a few more mature themes, the delicate stuff will be handled in special, additional file though.

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M&M DreamWorks Presents

The Forbidden Cards

Seal Cards: Epitomes of Love

A Soul Lights Side Story

Based on the works of CLAMP

Card Captor Sakura(c)CLAMP

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July of 1997 (Sakura

There was a lasting silence in the small room. The curtains were closed and only the soft glow of daylight shining through their veil illuminated the table in front of me. But I could see perfectly well. I wouldn't even need to see the eight cards spread in front of me. This was a much more complex method of card reading than the simple one Kero hat shown me all the years back. Yet, judged by the situation at hand, this was rather appropriate.

I stared intently at the two middle rows and the top card. Once again the same. Just like every time I attempted to see what the cards could tell me. I had tried this countless times in the past but the big picture would just not change, nor would it completely make sense to me. There was just one thing that was for sure. The premonition, beyond doubt, was about Her.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I thought I had conquered those memories but after telling Tomoyo three months ago, I couldn't help but recall some of the horrible scenes that had driven me straight from that future into this one. Kuso, I hated myself for making Tomoyo worry so much. The accusations had cut right through my heart. I knew on some level they were mostly frustration but…

*Don't you trust me?*

That one had hurt. Of course I did trust her. She was the cause of why I had come back here, she was why Time had even let me, she was the sole reason that I was able to settle back into a remotely normal life – as normal as life can be for one of the most powerful people on Earth. I had long since given up on the notion that I was the most powerful person. Maybe being the strongest mage was true. However, in my old time I had met enough other groups of magic users to which my power seemed to be a trifle… And none of them had stood a chance against Pandora.

Amazingly enough, after the talk with Tomoyo the tension within us had pretty much been turned upside down and nowadays we were almost inseparable. I feared that closeness a little since that had been one of the things that had troubled me back then. It still did. I would feel embarrassed but my mind was too old to be ashamed of the thoughts. And I wouldn't think twice about letting Tomoyo know just how much I loved her if not for the simple fact that we were both only fourteen. I had never quite imagined this would become a major problem of the transition but it seemed I had miscalculated. Lately my feelings for the lavender-haired girl had blossomed more and more into something greater and more passionate. My adult mind and teenager body were having a hard time coming to terms how to react to this.

_Kami, I am a little pervert!_

Okay, maybe it wasn't this bad but I was wondering what the hell was wrong with me. This had begun about a year ago, slowly at first but then more steadily. At first I thought it was just my teenage body beginning to mature but at times the love, and the desire spreading from that love, became so strong I was barely able to keep my hands off of Tomoyo when we were snuggling or something. I had to put some distances between us, yet I had chosen the wrong method as it seemed. The resulting frustration from both sides nearly drove a wedge between us. That was dealt with and resolved now, the feelings between us though had only been intensified and I was silently already preparing a last will, because if I should really lose control and Sonomi-kaasan found out…

I chuckled ruefully. I WAS overreacting, not to mention distracting myself from the reading and its expected and depressing outcome. Compared to that, my little physical problems were rather insignificant. Sighing audibly, I slowly turned around the last card.

Woody was the association, the first card. Woody stood for many things, for which one was nature itself, or Life if you want. In short, I assumed, it meant Earth itself would face a crisis soon. At least that made the most sense from what I expected to come. So basically, it was a call from Earth for help.

Then came Mirror, Time and Illusion. They were the cause of the current situation. From experience I knew that Mirror and Illusion often were substitutes for other unknown elements the cards couldn't represent, or at least couldn't represent with the cards available. Together with Time at the center it would normally not make much sense. However, I knew that Mirror and Illusion most likely pointed at the two other Forbidden Clow Cards, those that were responsible for Pandora's release in my time. I hadn't known that then but I knew now after talking to Time – as little as she did reveal –, Kerberos and Yue. And the more I learned about this, the more my belief grew that Clow was just as imperfect as any other human being and not nearly as foreseeing as Eriol said his prior incarnation had been.

The Light, the Dark and Erase in the next row, presenting the _solution_. Alright, the solution was not so more like a pointer, a guide, a way of what had to be done to assure an outcome in the mage's favor. The solution could point at powers, people, a lot of things. It could also be a gamble, since the solution could also turn into an aid for the problem. The combination was a little weird for my taste. While I could see Light and Dark together, I couldn't really place Erase. Erase could be another substitute or it could mean something completely different. I had some vague theories but that is all they were. Vague.

Which leaves the last card. The location, the Where.

Shadow.

As expected. Once again, the location was clouded into shadows, unrevealing darkness. I had desperately hoped that for once I would get a clue where to look for the Seal Cards but once again no hint was given to me. The thing was I could feel the distant presence of a card but by their sheer magnitude I suppose they were probably very far away.

Picking up the cards, I returned them to the book and stretched. This was getting me nowhere and tomorrow we would all make a small trip. I had agreed to the idea readily, seeing this as a chance to make up it up to Tomoyo for our little fight and just relax for awhile. Summer break had just started and the weather was ideal. A part of me wished that we could go alone but I didn't really mind the rest of the family coming along. This was going to be fun and maybe I could forget about the cards, the uncertain future and dark memories for awhile.

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(Tomoyo)

Whistling a happy tune, I made my way to the front of the Kinomoto residence. It had been a nice day and the evening sun was still warm and pleasant. Perfect weather for a vacation. Adjusting the bag over my shoulder I made a note to myself not to pack so many things the next time. Of course I had reminded myself the last time to do so and look where it had gotten me.

Not that the little problem was of any significance to the more important things in life at the moment. Sakura and I had finally come around and while I was pretty sure that she hadn't told me everything, I was simply too happy right now to care. I had overreacted after all and chided myself enough about it already. I knew deep down that questioning Sakura's trust had hurt my girlfriend and I wished desperately I could take it back somehow. Being confronted with how much Sakura depended on me when she revealed some of her secrets to me had made me feel so ashamed of myself. Sakura was quick to scatter those worries though. And since we both felt too guilty about the whole matter for different reasons we came to the agreement that this would simply just not happen again.

And the make up was definitely exquisite. I never thought you could be so close to a person. I had also thought I was already much more attached to a person than normal, even back then in Elementary School, at an age there that was rather strange. Especially since the relationship part hadn't come for another two years. However, seeing us now, aside from school we barely spent a minute alone anymore. The strength of our feelings was rather overwhelming even by me. Not that Sakura wasn't worth every last ounce of attention but it was as if our guilt over the whole accident had undergone the drastic change from "turning fire into water".

My thoughts were interrupted as I looked up, coming to a stop a few feet from the front door. Touya stood there with a grin. "I suppose saying "Welcome" as if you are a guest, just doesn't do it anymore, hmm?" It was remarkable how much the two of them had in common. While physically not all that similar, Sakura and her older brother had a lot of hidden character traits that often made them more alike than they'd ever admit being.

He moved forward, taking the bag not even waiting or actually expecting a request. After all this time I was still a little surprised – pleasantly so – as how easy Touya had accepted me. Compared to Syaoran that is. Knowing me prior probably had helped things a little and even with most of his sight gone – Sakura said it was returning very slowly – he had always been rather perceptive. Something I admired about him in a way.

"Arigato," I said, following him into the house and slipping out of my shoes. Okaasan had made it pretty much clear to Sakura that she was to treat our home as hers and while it had never been said this way from the Kinomotos before, the offer was obvious in small things like this or the way the treatment had gradually changed from that of a normal guest to that of a permanent houseguest or resident even. Sakura's home had also become my home and it didn't really matter anymore where we were or who would stay with whom. Either way, IF we were together, we were at home.

Touya shrugged, putting the bag down next to the staircase. "It's okay. I'll bring it up later. The monster has been in her room for awhile again, maybe you can get her to come down and eat something."

I wasn't sure whether to give into the humor or the sigh. On one hand it saddened me to hear that Sakura obviously was still troubled by her worries. I couldn't fault her, knowing what I did learn so far. Sakura had such a good heart and she wanted to protect everyone, especially the people she loved and feeling so helpless had to be hard. I never really realized how hard it had to be until I learned the truth of the events of her timeline. Still, I wished she wouldn't think that she had to take all the responsibility upon herself, almost as if she was desperately trying to do it all alone. That is why I insisted so much on the vacation when the idea was brought up one evening we had all sat together in this very house. The idea for a little boat trip was spontaneous but once everyone had gotten into it, the plans were quickly made. Hopefully this could get Sakura's mind set on something different at least for a little while.

I finally managed a small giggle. I found it funny that Touya still called her "monster", even more so than when my girlfriend was younger. I supposed that it had become more of an affective nickname than the gentle teasing it had once been.

Already a few steps up the stairs I stopped and turned slightly to look back at Touya. "Doesn't it bother you at all?" I had meant to ask the question for awhile now. Sakura had come clean about her time travel by now. While both her brother and father had suspected something already, Sakura had felt obligated to talk to them about this after realizing how much concern it had caused me and how much it had to have an impact on her family. The whole thing was taken relatively well, she had let out a few things she told me exclusively, but other then that most of what I learned was revealed to the rest of the family.

Touya looked at me thoughtful for a moment. "Not really. It's a little weird sometimes. And I admit I feel helpless knowing all that has happened already or will happen or… well, you get the point." I smiled wryly, knowing full well the confusion talking about this caused me sometimes. "I am just amazed that YOU are taking all this so well. Doesn't it bother you in the slightest, I mean… She's not exactly the girl you fell in love with anymore. I believe it is much harder for you, as her girlfriend, than it is for me, as a brother."

I didn't really need to think about my answer. Staring directly into Touya's eyes – well, as much as you can from a higher vantage point –, I said softly but with a firm voice nonetheless, "I wouldn't be that – her girlfriend – if Sakura-chan hadn't done what she did. She is still Sakura, all the little details are still there. You can see it too, I know that. When you truly love someone, you love everything about that person. The positive as much as the negative. Tell me, Touya-oniisan, would you turn down Yukito-san if the same would have happened to him."

The dark-haired, young man stared back stunned for a moment, then his eyes softened and he shook his head slowly. "No. Never."

I smiled fondly. "Good. Then we understand each other." I turned back to resume my ascent. "We'll be down for dinner in a few minutes." I swear I heard him mumbling something along the lines of "if you were able to separate long enough to walk down the stairs", smiled to myself and proceeded to Sakura's room.

******************************

(Sakura)

As I leaned back after putting the cards back into the book, I realized how stiff I had become. This happened a lot. Often I tried to figure out a reading for hours not even realizing the passage of time. It was a good thing I still did physical activities frequently to keep my body in shape. It would be a little early to suffer from back problems…

My eyes had drifted close for a moment and now they only fluttered open for a short moment before the movements of skilled hands rubbing my shoulders made me sigh blissfully – though I hadn't made up my mind if it was involuntary or not yet. I had to be pretty absorbed to not even notice Tomoyo coming up or slipping into the room. Usually I could tell from far away already when she was present. Not to mention that I tried not to show her just how much I took the whole thing to heart… and often failing miserable at that task.

"Do you have to torture yourself. Even a day before vacation?" Tomoyo asked softly, her voice barely a whisper and close to my ear. I suppressed the shudder wanting to run down my spine at her closeness and the feelings her warm breath tickling my skin invoked. I wished nothing more than to…

What was wrong with me?

Fighting down the primal urges of my – entirely too young – body I focused on her question, with some effort. "You know I must. If I don't find a way to prevent the seal from breaking than…" I trailed off, not wishing to speak further in fear of calling back the haunting images of a future long since past. A future that might become reality again if I didn't…

"I know you will find a way. You always do. But that you still have a few years, right? Don't push yourself so hard."

I let go of another content smile as the hands moved from my shoulders to my neck and further down my back with patient precision. Tomoyo could really give one hell of a massage. "How can you be so calm about this. I told you what happened. I stood no chance against that… thing. I…" I turned around albeit my body's vehement protests, fixing a startled Tomoyo with an intense gaze. "She killed you, right in front of my eyes. I… I won't…" I could feel tears stinging in my eyes and was a little bit surprised at the emotional surge that had triggered such a strong response. I usually was much calmer nowadays but Tomoyo managed with her mere presence alone to create that overwhelming urge to love, to protect, to cherish and always hold onto this incredible gift. I couldn't maintain my shields around her for long. "I will never let this happen again," I finished, trying to make my voice sound firm but it was more a croaked whisper. "Never…"

Before I even knew what was happening we were kissing. And not just the chaste kiss of children or young teenagers but laced with a mixture of passion and need. My arms went around Tomoyo's waist on instinct drawing her closer, basking in the heat of the contact. Not just the physical but also the spiritual one. Our kisses had become that much bolder lately and they weren't always initiated by me. Tomoyo proved very quickly that this important aspect of life was as much one of the skills she was so good with, just like all the others. And so I found myself relenting briefly as the kiss began to involve tongues rather quickly, that sweet scent, so distinctive Tomoyo, filling my mouth, literally drinking up all the troubles, concerns and fears of only a few moments ago.

Finally Tomoyo drew away but only a few inches. I am sure my face was flushed since hers definitely was. A part of me was disappointed at the lack of contact and wanted to reengage right away, taking this to places I steadfastly refused to even let myself think about. The beautiful lavender-haired girl had her fingers tangled in some strands of my hair falling in disarray over my face. "I know, Sakura-chan. I know you will always be there to protect me. I told you that a long time ago and my belief has not changed. You have taken all those risks and changed your future already. Your beautiful heart will find a solution when the time is right. Please, don't burn yourself out. That won't get us anywhere and brings you only more pain. I hate to see you suffer."

I stared in amazement at this magnificent creature. What in all the world had I done to earn such trust, such loyalty, such love from this gentle and kind girl. When I was young and unknowing of her feelings I had often felt a little embarrassed. But never scared. I knew some people who experienced our interaction wondered why I wasn't scared of Tomoyo's devotion. Yet, I could never be scared of such a wondrous thing. Now, I was simply amazed and every time she looked at me like this, so completely without doubt, utter faith in her gaze that I would never let her come to harm, I knew that I wasn't worth it. But yet, it always created a confidence in me so strong that I felt like being able to strike down any foe ever trying to harm this otherworldly creature that I could dare call my girlfriend.

"I don't deserve you," I whispered, one hand softly stroking the pale skin of her cheek. I had never felt like this before. Not with Syaoran, never with him. That realization had come gradually but by now I was certain that while a part of me would always love him, my statement that the love for him and Tomoyo was an equal one had long since expired. The magnitude of love I felt for Tomoyo know had definitely exceeded what I ever had felt for the Chinese boy. "But I love you more than anyone or anything else in this world," I said, making sure she understood completely what I was implying.

Tomoyo's smile was radiant, her blue eyes sparkling as if the sun was reflecting on the clear surface of a lake. I leaned forward again, touching my lips to hers, leaving my gaze glued on those brilliant orbs. Sensual at first I felt that inner fire once again igniting with renewed intensity and for several seconds I completely lost myself in the feelings, tongues meeting in a slow dance, passionate but not forceful. So much unlike Syaoran's kisses. This was… softer, slower and at the same much more intense.

"Hey, monster! Get down here, dinner is ready!"

I blinked my eyes, realizing only now that somehow Tomoyo had found her way into my lap and my hands were resting on her buttocks, Tomoyo's arms were around my neck, clinging tightly as if afraid to fall apart if she should let go. I blinked again, slowly drawing away and tentatively altering my grip from my girlfriend's behind to hold her around the waist again. I didn't want to let go but there was that slight spark of embarrassment that I had let myself go so far. But I didn't really feel all that bad about it, after all Tomoyo seemed quite content where she was.

"Wow…" I whispered, my breath a little shallow from the exchange. I could feel some sweat on my forehead and was rather aware that both of our body temperatures had definitely risen to a noticeable degree. "That was…" I wanted to say "too close" but honestly, I had to agree with Tomoyo's definition.

"Intense. Amazingly intense…" Tomoyo responded, equally breathless and I was fascinated at how much that sparkle in her eyes had even more increased but now it was more like… I wasn't sure I actually wanted to know the answer to that because I wasn't sure right now if I could control the following consequences.

"We should… uh, get downstairs… Dinner, you know…?" I tried lamely, my mind not yet fully restored from one of the most passionate moments between us yet. Tomoyo just nodded, also a little out of it.

It was only with a lot of effort and after another few minutes of regaining some composure that we managed to follow my brothers request. Touya was giving me the most annoying smirk all evening.

******************************

About two days later (Tomoyo)

There was one thing that was for sure about life with Sakura. It never was boring. I had known this right away when I met her. I knew that I just had to put an effort into at least befriending the genki brunette or my life would be so much duller. This experience had only grown when Sakura came back for me and devoted her attention almost solely upon me. The things we did on a regular basis when going out, other couples probably never even encounter half the excitement and the wonders Sakura managed to produce.

I had noticed that Sakura liked to use the cards rather often for those special occasion but also other everyday life stuff. For example creating a nice atmosphere with Glow or Flower, lightening candles with Firery or often just flying around with Fly. Sakura had developed a close bond with her cards, that much was for sure. "Don't they mind doing all those things for you?" I asked, turning my head towards Sakura. The question was more a rhetorical one with just a touch of curiosity I could guess the answer already.

Sakura laughed lightly and I could feel just the tiny bits of a ripple around us that _felt_ like… giggling. "Don't worry about that. The cards actually want to get out and play whenever I let them. While they don't mind being in the book, they like to do things outside, interact with the world, you know." Sakura gazed at me adoringly and I felt my cheeks flush, a reaction the lovely girl had managed to bring forth more and more in the last days. The passionate scene from the evening two days ago was still present in my mind and this hasn't been the only occasion. "And they like you, too, so they like to do things that make you happy." The blush deepened and I melted into the following kiss that was much to brief and chaste for my taste…

Blinking I tried to clear my foggy mind, snuggling closer to Sakura who had one arm around my waist so that we wouldn't be separated, not that any of us minded the contact. The water around us was cool but not freezing. I believed this to be an added side effect of Watery other than providing an air bubble to breath and right now the movement as well. We already had been swimming quite some while but right now we were content to enjoy each other's presence and let Watery do the stirring, so to say.

The ocean down here was a captivating sight. Especially this way, without diving gear or other such limitations. Only our bodies and normal senses experiencing what no ordinary human would usually be able to do. Not for that long and surely enough not as deep as we were already. This definitely had been one of Sakura's best ideas involving the cards up to now. We had left the world above the surface already far behind, exploring the wondrous depths of the ocean.

I hadn't expected something like that – Sakura always managed to surprise me with those things – when we set out yesterday morning for the beach and then a trip with our family yacht. Okaasan had actually been glad to have a use for it after all that time. In all my life we had only gotten to make use of it once and I had been almost too little to remember it then. Now, the yacht served as the perfect tool for some nice, relaxing days. Okaasan had been excited to participate in the family vacation and readily provided the boat even though it visibly got to her to spend so much time in close company to Sakura's father. They managed to behave most of the trip but a few hours ago the tension had escalated and everyone had retreated hastily to other parts of the yacht to evade the coming war zone. Yukito and Touya had went below deck and Sakura came up that we should probably go even deeper with a twinkle in her eyes. I had had barely enough time to prepare myself – thankfully we already had been in our bathing suits for the purpose of sun bathing – before Sakura grabbed me and jumped into the calm ocean, activating Watery in the process.

The feeling was extraordinary. The ocean was calm on this clear summer day and the flow was gentle, encompassing the two of us. Somehow Watery had managed to make it so that we could breathe underwater but still feel the water and move freely. Therefore we were treated by the embrace of the wet element, washing over our skin. It didn't even sting in the eyes!

Right now we were resting from swimming so much, gently floating through the vast ocean, letting Watery push us forward. And once again we found ourselves in one of those moments. The place was a little odd, I admit, but as usual neither of us cared very much and while we weren't even kissing, just the contact was enough to hold us captured in the moment. I could feel Sakura's hand lightly stroking my bare skin and shivered. Not from the cold of the water but from the sudden heat coursing through my body, making my skin tingle.

Oh, I wasn't stupid. I was pretty much aware of the sexual tension. There was just no other way to describe it. Both of us were rather mature for our physical age and that was even more true in Sakura's case. It had taken me some time to figure out that the whole Pandora issue hadn't been all that had my girlfriend bothered lately. I hadn't been totally sure at first but the level of passion in our kisses, the lingering touches, the closeness. The encounter the evening before our departure wasn't the only one and they had become even more heated. No, by now I was pretty sure that Sakura had definitely trouble suppressing urges she surely felt entirely to improper for our physical age.

How did I feel about this? I honestly wasn't sure. I would lie if I said that the rising passion between us didn't scare me a little. Just a little. I hadn't thought in this direction at all until a few months ago but now I found myself wishing at times that Sakura would just go ahead and… See, that's what I meant. Where I could understand and tolerate that Sakura's older mind might harbor such thoughts, I know that for me they were rather… early. Not impossible, but early in their appearance. And entirely too strong to be natural.

At the same time the feelings were exhilarating and I felt myself craving the attention, the sensations of drowning in Sakura's love and passion, wishing nothing more than to just let go and feel. This was frightening in itself but more like a thrill, a good, exciting thrill I had entirely no idea how to deal with. I just knew if Sakura as much as asked I would jump at the chance and that scared me again, just a little.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted something and was partially grateful for the interruption of the moment. Because as much as a big part of me wouldn't object I think the setting would be more than a little awkward. Not too mention, we'd probably traumatize poor Watery!

"Hey, there's a cave down there!"

Sakura blinked, a look of disappoint crossing her features that almost made me giggle. I suppressed that reaction though and pointed down. We were rather close to the bottom I think. The water was getting murkier here. Less light was reaching us from the surface and it was a little hard to make out the cave's entrance. Sakura and I looked at each other, confirming our mutual curiosity and made our way into the cave.

******************************

(Sakura)

Emerging from the water we were both surprised and amazed to find a cave that huge. Sure, there probably were enough on the ocean floor but when did you ever get the chance to see them. Not that any of us was paying much attention to our surroundings. Watery went back into card form and then to subspace for the moment with nothing more than a thought. My eyes were pretty much glued to Tomoyo and there was a conflict inside of me whether to praise or curse myself for my impromptu idea. Kuso, Tomoyo was sexy in that dark blue bikini, drenched by the ocean water and therefore highlighting the young girl's curves pretty well.

This was ridiculous. Something was definitely going on here. I mean something other than my dirty adult mind and developing teenage body. As much as I did love Tomoyo this was getting out of hand and I was pretty sure that my control was only a few percent from evaporating into thin air. I mean, I had actually kicked Touya for flirting with Tomoyo. He did that sometimes and I know very well that it was never more than teasing. And still I had actually hit him, he had been throwing wary glances my way the whole trip. And the poor boy from when we arrived at the beach who dared to… wanted to ask Tomoyo out or something. I swear he must have run straight to his mommy after the menacing look I had given him – thankfully that had been all. My emotions couldn't suddenly be so out of control. Not naturally…

"Sakura?"

_Gah!_

Tomoyo was standing right in front of me, blue eyes focused on me in a wordless, yet demanding expression. I was being drawn into the liquid pools, drowned in a sea of happiness and love. I might have jumped at the touch, her hand on my cheek, caressing slightly in a circular pattern. "What are you afraid of?"

Crap, she always knew me so well, that hadn't changed in the most aspects of my life even after traveling back in time. With the exception of the Pandora happenings and my growing desires she had always managed to read me like a book. It seemed the latter was about to experience the same fate.

"Tomo-chan… I…" I breathed, my voice taking on a husky tone, feeling her other coming around me, one hand settling on my back. A surge of immediate desire rushed through me and my mouth couldn't decide whether to be dry or the complete opposite. I couldn't finish the sentence but looking into her eyes, I knew it wasn't necessary.

"You don't have to be afraid for my sake, Sakura-chan." I gasped when she dipped her head slightly to the side and moved forward to run her lips over the skin on my neck. My arms tightened around her, almost crushing her lithe form against mine even if that small voice that was calling me names was still there. It was fading fast.

"I… I don't want to hurt you… This is not how…"

Tomoyo looked up again and before I could even guess her intentions her lips were upon mine. The kiss was sending hot waves of tiny flames through my whole body. Her lips were crushed against mine and I leaned into the passionate, desperate contact without even thinking. The last bit of rational thought was more or less leaving me right now.

Coming up for air after almost a full minute, I realized that our hands had become much bolder. Tomoyo's hands were just resting under the hem of my bikini top and mine were already all the way there. The desire created between us had reached the force of a tornado. I could see the desperation and need reflected in Tomoyo's eyes.

"Do you really want to fight this?" Tomoyo asked in her usual soft, lightly musical voice but still somehow managing to let it sound seductive. "We can't fight this any longer, you know that."

Can't fight…? A jolting sensation of recognition passed through me and for just a single moment I managed to tear myself away from the powerful thrall both of us were under. No, not so much a thrall as the rise of emotions to its maximum. Right here, right now, around us…

Love was here.

Love, one of the Seal Cards. Time had told me that the reason I felt its presence nearing was because the original seal was more or less encompassing the whole planet, both elemental powers overlapping each other. It had been a steady stream, unyielding and without a flaw. Until Clow tempered with those ancient archtypes and bound powers where he should have not. After realizing his mistake and that he couldn't control the elemental powers, he had placed the cards inside the original seal, reestablishing the power but not the flow. The flow had been destroyed, its flawlessness lost. To make the flaw as tiny as possible the cards were moving around in the seal in a more or less stable orbit. It was no surprise to realize that this had given Pandora her opportunity. Clow's actions to fix his mistake had not been enough after all.

The realization came at a rather bad moment though and most of my thoughts on the matter were just like a background image. I was aware of it, I was aware of the enormous presence so similar to Time back then, yet I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't have the willpower anymore to call upon some counter spell. I simply didn't want to stop!

And with a groan of resignation I brought my hands up around Tomoyo's neck, drawing her in. My breath was creating tiny goose bumps against her skin, my voice long since having lost the battle to hold pack the passion and longing. "I love you so much, Tomo-chan. Even if this is not entirely our doing, I want to make you happy. Do you trust me enough with this?" I said the last bit with the utmost seriousness I could still muster in this situation, yet I was unsure if I could take a negative answer anymore.

"I told you already," Tomoyo whispered back, her voice mirroring my own open desire. "I will always be safe with Sakura-chan. I have faith that Sakura-chan will always save me and keep me safe." Proceeding to kiss me again, I simply let go, my body almost sighing in relief, welcoming whatever shall come.

******************************

(Tomoyo)

Slowly, with the speed of a turtle climbing a hill my senses returned to awareness, my spirit floating back down from that place somewhere far above the heavens where it had climbed to… some time… ago. I really had NO idea how much time had passed, how long we had been in the cave or lying on the cold ground warmed by a small friction of magic – but I really didn't care where it came from right now.

The tremors had finally subsided and my body lay in total peace, every muscle relaxed and surely not able to obey any command in the near future. And I felt GOOD. Kami, did I feel good. I had really been a little… unsure when I gave in to my desires. Yet, seeing Sakura suffer even more, trying to hold herself back, inhabitations had been thrown out of the window. Very, very far away. And it wasn't like I had not wanted. We loved each other after all, so it couldn't be a bad thing, just… a little early maybe. It wasn't like we were still ten or something. That would have been rather illogical.

Feeling Sakura move slightly from her position spooned up behind me, I shifted slightly and craned my neck to look behind me. Her face was producing a stronger result than the Glow card could… even though I was sure the expression was mirrored on my own. I smiled widely, feeling giddy and in a state of utter bliss. I've never felt so much in the right place like now. I was sure that was what I was meant to be, where I belonged to be. Right here, in Sakura's arms, enveloped in a warm blanket of love. Body, mind and soul.

I could see the hint of regret and shame in Sakura's eyes though and was quick to dispel these feelings. With some effort I managed to command my body to turn around in the tight embrace. Brushing some of the brown hair that had fallen into Sakura's face out of the way, I leaned in to place a soft, lingering kiss on her lips, gazing adoringly into green eyes. Sakura smiled faintly. "You keep giving the most special gifts in the most special ways. You are such an amazing person."

Sakura's smiled turned into a more genuine one. "That wasn't all my doing. Don't you feel different somehow?"

I was puzzled at her question. "What do you mean? Of course I feel different!" I said lightly teasing.

Sakura laughed heartedly and the sound was such a lovely thing to my ears. "No, no, I mean. About the desire between us. Just until a few minutes ago…" She let the sentence linger and I suddenly realized what she meant. The whirlwind of feelings had ceased to be more gradual, more normal. I had first though this was only and effect of the afterglow but there was a little more to it. I didn't know how I could tell the difference, I just did. So when Sakura said this wasn't completely her doing then did that mean…

I blinked almost audibly and was already in the process of sitting up despite the protests of my body before Sakura pulled me down again gently but persistent. "Yes, I am sure its one of the Seal Cards. I told you about them, right?" I nodded, wondering why we were still lying here. Not that I WANTED to move, mind you. "It must be Love. But its moving very slowly. We can easily catch up, don't rush now. I, personally, feel like being defiant and not rush after it the way it played with us." Sakura chuckled and run one hand through my open hair, drawing out a sigh from me in the process. I had went to tie it into a ponytail in the last months but was seriously considering to leave it open again in order to experience the wonderful sensations my girlfriend's fingers in my hair produced more often. Hmm, girlfriend didn't seem right anymore. Lover? Mate? It had felt a lot like mating on a level and I couldn't quite believe that this all had been the card's doing.

"You mean Love made us do all this?" I asked curiously, showing my disbelief at the possibility.

Sakura shook her head slightly, drawing me closer until my head rested contently under her chin, almost nestled comfortingly in her small chest. I let go of another sigh and could practically feel Sakura's smile in response. "No, the way I understand it is that Love cannot produce false feelings. It can only take what is there and amplify them. The stronger the feelings the more they are amplified. And Love doesn't do something on its own since the card is embedded in the seal. It is a natural side effect. Clow played with something you can't just simply control. The magic he bound into a card was so strong that, even ineffective, it puts out incredible power."

I listened carefully and would have nodded, had I not been so comfortable right now. Instead I said in a lightly teasing voice, "So you DID want me THIS way…" I grinned to myself, feeling Sakura shift a little… not uncomfortably but surely enough embarrassed. Even if her mind was older she was still such an innocent creature at times. "It's okay. You didn't hurt me and it was the most wonderful gift other than your heart that you could ever have given me."

Sakura's arms tightened around me even more. "I love you. I really do. More than anything. That wasn't just because of Love. I promise you, I will always love you, forever."

I lifted my head slightly, meeting her downward gaze of unrestrained, unconditional love with one of my own. "I love you, too. More than I could ever put into words."

******************************

(Sakura)

You'd expect after the whole mess I'd feel guilty. You'd expect I would want to harm myself for ever letting my urges get the better of me. You know what? I really didn't care anymore. The experience was just so… glorious. And Tomoyo didn't regret it either. You could see it in her body language or every other part of her. She could probably be lightening a Christmas tree right now and I surely wasn't very far behind.

I wasn't sure whether or not to give Love a piece of my mind when we caught up with it though. On the one hand I knew that logically seen the card had pretty much no control over its effect. Yet, the timing was rather… inappropriate. I still couldn't believe we did THAT down THERE. I mean, sure, I love to treat Tomoyo to special things in special places. The cards really like to be useful and they really like to make Tomoyo happy too, both of us actually. However, this was rather shooting over the top. As I said, now I didn't regret it anymore. It was done with and I was not about to destroy this eternal memory of a first time with thoughts of self-blame and guilt when my… lover looks like I couldn't have possibly made her happier today.

Anyway, after resting a few minutes longer, we finally returned to the surface. The recovery was only one reason why I wanted to stay down there for awhile. No, and the other was NOT to enjoy the feel of Tomoyo's naked form against mine… Kami, I must be blushing madly at this thought, I could tell from Tomoyo's almost smug look – Tomoyo and smug! No, that had not been the reason… although it was an added bonus. Staying still for a short while would allow Love to pass on a little further and therefore lessening the chance of a fallback into emotional overload.

I was very glad I decided on that because I REALLY didn't want to know what happened up here on – and mostly likely in – the yacht a few minutes ago while we had our own encounter below the surface. We might have just stood there for another minute or so before either of us could override the shock to our system at the scene playing in front of us. I glanced at Tomoyo with a totally bewildered look and saw my girlfriend – I would stick with that for now, the other term sounded TOO mature for our physical age – equally flabbergasted. "Didn't you say Love only amplifies what is already there?" she asked.

I turned pack to the couple at the helm of the yacht, engaged in a – pretty intense – lip lock, blissfully unaware of having an audience… and probably just as unaware of what they were doing in the first place. I shrugged at Tomoyo's question, rather perplexed myself. "I honestly have no idea. It's not like even Clow himself understood what exactly he created there." Grinning slightly I put my hands on my hips and cleared my throat loud enough for the two adults to hear.

There was a very short silence and it seemed as if the world itself just stopped breathing for a timeliness moment, awaiting the inevitable apocalypse. Then, as if someone dropped a sledgehammer between them the two parental figures of our group literally jumped several feet apart. Otousan looked rather baffled… well, stupefied actually and I could see from the look on Sonomi-kaasan's face that was just about turning from speechless consternation into smoldering rage that he would probably not survive the following moments if I didn't intervene.

"Save it!" I shouted, drawing their attention immediately and succeeding in flustering both of them speech- and motionless again. Right now I regretted not explaining to them about the Seal Cards as I had done for Tomoyo but I really didn't want to waste anymore time. I could sense Love was actually picking up speed… which was strange since the paths of the cards were supposed to be stable. "We don't have time for this now. There is a card here I need to catch and its moving away right now. So if any of you would be kind enough to get us moving." Granted, I would normally never take such a… commanding tone with my father or Tomoyo's mother. But I knew where this was leading when I didn't intervene and I really had no time for this. I could feel in every fiber of my being that this was my chance, my only chance to change something about the future I had experienced.

Just that moment Kero-chan choose to make his appearance, coming from below deck and looking rather agitated. "What's going on?" He looked around at the scene, arching a tiny eyebrow at the still rather shell-shocked-looking adults and then turned to me. "Sakura? I felt the presence of a card. Is that…?"

I nodded at his unfinished question, already trying to track Love. That was funny, I cold feel something else too. Was that the other one? If yes, that would be more coincidence when I believed in. Isolating Love for now I felt it rapidly moving westwards.

"Quick, Otousan, turn the boat around, its picking up speed for some reason!" I yelled running to the back of the yacht, staring out over the ocean intently. I could see something moving in the distance. It was to tiny to really make out and for someone without magic probably impossible to see at all.

Otousan meanwhile had snapped out of his shocked state long enough to take over the controls and pull the boat around, pushing the engine to top speed. "Tomoyo, get Yukito, I'd rather like everyone together and who knows if I might need Yue. Love isn't actually dangerous – I think – but I'd rather be safe." Tomoyo nodded and took off. I was pretty sure Yue must have sensed what was going on too and was probably already on his way. Hopefully he was because I could more or less guess what Love did to him and Touya, considering what it did to the rest of us. I really hoped Tomoyo wouldn't catch them in an embarrassing situation.

"I better take care of this before we all go crazy trying to go near that thing," I said more to myself, only realizing Kero was next to me at his squeak when he obviously figured out what exactly I was implying. Well, that couldn't be helped now.

Taking the key from its resting place I invoked its ancient powers and drew Time from subspace. Better to fight Fire with Fire, or something like that. "Time!" I called out. "Encase us in a bubble of your power!" There was a bright flash of crimson-purple energy and the sensitive eye could see the dim, almost completely transparent field of temporal energy enveloping the yacht. I heard Otousan gasp and realized suddenly that he actually could see all this. Of course he could, I told myself, since he has part of Clow's magic now.

"Don't worry, just stay on course." I reached out once again, confirming my earlier observation. "See the small object in the distance?" Otousan nodded. "Follow it!"

If I could have it any other way I really wouldn't want to endanger everyone. But seeing as if I might never be able to come so close again, I had hardly a choice left. Besides, the Seal Cards were not really… active. Therefore I _hoped_ it wouldn't be all that dangerous.

******************************

(Tomoyo)

I found them alright. And I found them just as expected in their cabin doing… err, the same that we did… Not that I would tell them that. Of course I had had the decency to knock or wanted to… until the cabin door was flung open and I was almost flattened by an agitated Yue. Thinking back on it I should really not be surprised but the sudden change from the powerful yet sweet experience below the surface and the serious situation above was rather sudden and I was a little nervous, I admit. I knew this was important for Sakura – heck, it was important for all of us in the long run. I didn't think I've seen Sakura so… confident before. She usually was not the type to give commands like that. That was a fact that was easily reflected onto her cards who she treated more as friends than as tools.

I hadn't even realized I complied with her order without a question before I was halfway below the deck. That was an amazing discovery in itself because I found out just then that there was something else to Sakura I was sure neither of us had seen so far. The attributes of a natural leader. Not some great military genius or whatever you want to call the equivalent for a mage. No, years of training had given her an air of confidence that often leaked through in many aspects of every day life but really developed in a serious situation like this one. Making new discoveries about Sakura has always been one of my favorite things, especially since I knew so much about her already, seeing new things was rare and often served to add another special flair to her magnificent personality.

As I said, I literally bumped into Yue, Touya following looking a little as if he just woke up – which might be true. I shot him a knowing smirk – to which the older Kinomoto sibling just shrugged and grumbled something – before I turned back to Yue. "You better go up. Sakura wanted you there just in case. I get it, you are quite aware what just passed us?" The faint blush tingling on his cheeks was answer enough for me.

Yue nodded and was already up the stairs before I could make any more comments. I glanced back at Tomoyo and raised an eyebrow at his questioning stare. _Oops, he isn't suspecting anything, is he?_ The young man didn't elaborate on the look, just grinned and then shrugged his shoulders. "Let's go up as well. I must admit I am curious. I have heard about all this from Sakura and you but I've never really had the opportunity to see it."

Emerging outside a short while later I spotted Sakura standing in the middle of the spacious deck, her star wand transformed into a size I had never seen before. It was reaching a bit over her head and was planted firmly into the ground below. Sakura had her eyes closed, seemingly in deep concentration. Kerberos – transformed into his real form – and Yue stood a couple of feet behind her and seemed a bit unsure about their actual purpose.

"What's that?" Touya asked next to me and pointed ahead of the yacht speeding westwards towards the small group of little isles in the distance. Funny, I hadn't noticed them before. There were several things I took note of that I know I definitely shouldn't. First of all their was a very faint glimmer around the ship. Like a force field of some kind. I had felt the emotional increase fade when I went under deck and was pretty sure now that whatever Sakura did was responsible for it. But I didn't think I should be able to see the magic at all.

Yet I did and I also saw the sparkling sphere in the distance, coming closer very quickly. The orange-golden orb seemed to radiate purest light to my eyes.

"Um… That's Love, I think. I hope the shield is going to hold its effects off." I said, not sure why I revealed my knowledge of actually seeing all this. I guess I was subtly seeking confirmation that I wasn't going crazy. Sakura had told me that Touya's second sight was gradually returning so he should be able to pick up those things.

"Yeah, it's heading straight for that isle. I have the feeling that is no… wait a second… You can _see_ all this?"

I shrugged helplessly.

There was no time for further research on the subject though. Sakura's father had finally managed to catch up with what was apparently the card. Suddenly the boat jerked, the engine almost coming to a complete spot. I flashed Touya a grateful smile for the steadying hand but my attention was quickly drawn back to the glowing sphere. Love was hanging in the air looking for all it was worth like a tiny star in the middle of the day. I was a little surprised at the sudden stop in movement but either the card realized that she couldn't escape – not that the term was accurate in the first place – or she sort of knew what was going to happen. Kero-chan told Sakura once and she told me in return that all the Clow Cards were automatically drawn to the new Master or Mistress. There was a connection between the one that was chosen to become their wielder and the cards themselves. I had no idea if this was the case with Love but I believed it to be very likely.

I could see the sprite-form of the card – another thing I wasn't sure whether I was supposed to do this or no – and Love looked a little confused and uncertain. There was something else there though. I didn't know how I could tell. It wasn't my observations skills that much I was sure of. However, somehow I just KNEW that Love was tremendously lonely.

Glancing at Sakura I waited to see what she would do or if she detected the same thing I just did. The Card Mistress had applied a lot of unorthodox methods capturing some of the Clow Cards, often rather trying to make the cards trust her and let themselves be captured rather than to engage into a heated battle. Therefore I wasn't really surprised seeing Sakura's tense and concentrated demeanor suddenly change. For a moment confusion crossed her features before she relaxed, her eyes softening and her grip around the staff not so firm anymore.

Kerberos and Yue were about to move forward when without even a command Fly's wings materialized on Sakura's back. My girlfriend looked back with a reassuring smile that halted the two guardians even though one could tell they weren't really fond off the idea.

The winged girl was about to ascend, then stopped and turned a look in my direction. Her eyes finding mine. Quite frankly I had no idea what exactly happened but when Sakura held out a hand towards me I stepped forward and took it in my own without a word. There was not even the thought of hesitation or surprise when I felt something wash over and through my body. Identical wings to the ones Sakura was sporting burst into existence but my movements were almost trance-like. Only one thing was for sure that I trusted Sakura, complete and unconditional trust. The level of communication at this moment was higher than anything before and somehow we just knew what we had to do.

To the casual observers though – even the magical-apt ones – the moment we were on a level with the spectral figure of Love, we literally vanished from sight.

TBC

Author's Notes

Yes, I know I am evil.

I said it would be two parts and I actually planned this out a little differently. The second part was supposed to take place some time later. Love was supposed to be captured already… I just realized that for what I wanted to do I had to do it in a shorter period of time and the particular scene was just such a nice point to end the first part. Don't worry though. I suppose I'll be out with the next part very soon. Maybe even before Christmas (don't hold me to that).

I hope I managed to describe the emotions in here in the way I wanted them to be represented. This installment started a little slow on the writing side but began to pick up pace and intensity fast.

I admit the moment I chose to reveal about what the Seal Cards are was rather… odd. Forgive me please, Maia decided to let this story run wild halfway through, I actually planned on… say, two more scenes from the start of the trip… I really think it's awkward and maybe I actually add those later on. Please tell me if it seems too out of place and I change that.

Anyway, things are slowly picking up on the suspense end. The last part will probably actually have some action and wrap things up for that little pre-series.

I am not sure if I'll write the actual lemon scene or not. I planned to but am not so certain right now.

I hope you enjoyed yourselves again. If you did, then leave me a note (mail, review whatever).

Ja ne, yours

Matthias


	4. Seal Cards: Corruption of Silence

Title: The Forbidden Cards

Subtitle: Seal Cards: Corruption of Silence

Author: Matthias Engel aka MysticMew

Feedback: Solarsenshi@gmx.de

(Plot) Beta: Ayrki

Status: Alpha

Fandom: Card Captor Sakura (manga), Slayers, Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon (minor implications)

Rating: PG-13

Category: Romance, Action/Adventure, slight Crossover elements

Pairing: Sakura/Tomoyo

Timeline: Hard to pinpoint, begins years after the manga and then… well, you'll see. This story is part of the Soul Lights Continuum.

Summary: An older Sakura makes a fateful decision that will not affect only her lives but in the long run that of the whole planet and more.

Distribution: Soul Lights Continuum (), Shoujo Ai.com (www.shoujoai.com), ff.net (www.fanfiction.net), Mediaminer (www.mediaminer.org), Moonlit Nights () others may follow. If you like this fic for your story, please tell me, I'm not likely to put stones in your way, but I like to know where it goes.

Legal Disclaimer: This story features two females romantically involved. If that is illegal where you are or entirely not your thing, turn around and leave now.

Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP and assorted companies, I claim no right on the characters and original storyline, neither do I claim any right on the small crossover elements in this story, they belong to their respective owners.

Story Disclaimer: Seal Cards: Corruption Silence(c)2003 by Matthias Engel

Note: Names in () indicate the POV. If there is no name the scene is written in third person.

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Foreword

Not much to say. The last part in the Forbidden Cards series. Takes up directly after the first part of Seal Cards (Epitomes of Love). Next in line will be the BSSM pre-story though that one will also have slight Crossover indications, so if you want to stay for the whole ride you might want to look out for it.

I hope you've got some time, it turned out to be a longer part than originally intended…. Not that that is something new for the little terror…

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M&M DreamWorks Presents

The Forbidden Cards

Seal Cards: Corruption of Silence

A Soul Lights Side Story

Based on the works of CLAMP

Card Captor Sakura(c)CLAMP

Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon(c)Takeuchi Naoko

Slayers(c)Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi

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(Sakura)

To describe exactly what the place looked like I would have to assume that the observer had to possess not only magical sight but also a fine understanding of the different layers of reality. On first glance all you might see was a field of orange-gold light, shining with the intensity that had you thinking you were right in the center of a sun. Yet, it wasn't actually blinding. Bright, yes. Even brighter than the human eye should be able to handle but at the same time gentle, filled with a certain harmony that inspired awe.

I, with my limited skill, felt tiny in comparison to the sheer beauty of the place. This was much more magnificent than the experience of Love's simple energy output reflected on the outside world. Much like in a mother's womb I felt sheltered from the tainted world outside. The absolute purity of emotion was overwhelming. However, compared to our reaction outside to this increase in positive feelings, here I was at total peace, not compiled to act in certain ways. I basked in the ultimate experience of love, sinking into its embrace.

Glancing over at Tomoyo, I noticed that she was equally overwhelmed. Wherever exactly we were, we had left Time's safety bubble behind and I didn't quite believe that it would have survived in here. I was a little perplexed actually to see Tomoyo. My actions of the last moments had been like watching a movie of myself. In a way it was me acting but in another I also was only watching my body move. I had realized on a certain level that I couldn't just simply capture Love, that this wasn't the right way and that there had to be a different approach. And I knew deep down that we had to face Love together. As a couple bond by her own element.

Before either of us could speak, a faint glimmer attracted our attention. Turning towards the white sparkle of light I watched it brighten, expanding slightly. Slowly the shape of the card's sprite form became visible. I had seen it before but this time the features were much more defined. Golden-blond hair ran down the woman's back. She wore a simple yet elegant orange dress and her eyes sparkled a clear blue so enticingly beautiful that I felt the urge to kneel in humbleness, unworthy of that creature's attention. This was fascinating, none of the card's spiritual forms ever had been so vivid, so human… No, human didn't sound right. The woman seemed more like a goddess actually. A goddess that was incredibly lonely…

Love looked at us with a warm smile that made my heart skip a beat. Cocking her head slightly to the side she seemed to be deep in thought for a moment, then her eyes brightened in obvious recognition. Yet the greeting was not exactly as I expected. "Greetings, Lina-dono, Amelia-dono. I had not expected you here."

I blinked and traded a glance with Tomoyo who mirrored my own confusion. "Excuse us but I think you are mistaking…"

Love laughed lightly and the sound was angelic to the ears. I realized that a lot of those effects were due to the fact we were in her realm of power. It had been similar with Time. Outside the sealing chamber her presence didn't seem to be so enormous all the time. "Oh, I know, I know. I apologize for that. It appears you are not awakened yet."

Awakened? What the…? My surprise must have been visible since Love let go of another giggle, echoing throughout the surreal space.

"Ah, don't worry about it. The time will come that you understand. Now though. I understand that you are Clow's successor and therefore technically my new Mistress." I nodded a little dumbly, still not quite grasping what exactly the words of the card's sprite had done to me. I had felt something stir inside of me at her words. Faint, tiny and almost impossible to notice but it was there.

Love's happy, smiling expression didn't change but her tone of voice did as she continued. "Clow was a fool. If it wasn't for him, the Feared One would not be on the verge of breaking through our seal. He gave us form and therefore made us targets for her power. This form is limiting and it is only a matter of time before the Feared One will be able to take advantage of the disrupted flow," she stated bitterly. I could guess without a problem who the "Feared One" was supposed to be and the confirmation that my worst fears were proving true sent a shiver down my spine.

"But Sakura-chan isn't like Clow! I'm sure she can fix things! She always does!" I turned a surprised look at Tomoyo and felt a wave of pride wash through me. The lavender-haired girl stared at Love intently, silently daring her to challenge the statement. She didn't seem to shy away from the otherworldly being but instead stood up for her faith in me. I really didn't deserve someone so incredible like her but I would certainly cherish that gift forever.

Love didn't seem to mind the outburst at all. Instead her features softened even more as she regarded Tomoyo with a look, searching her eyes for some sort of confirmation for a moment, then turned back to me. "No, she is not like Clow. I could tell from the very first moment." The blue eyes flashed for a moment and I shrunk a little under the intense gaze. "So, what will you do now that you stand before me. What will you do to fix what Clow has damaged?"

The question was genuine and honestly curious… and it took me totally off guard. I had not planned on any of this happening now. Yes, I had devoted so much time to search for the Seal Cards but hadn't actually given much thought to what exactly I wanted to do if I found them. They were the center of what held the seal on Pandora together after all and I couldn't just remove them without endangering the whole planet. I felt foolish at not really having thought about that, about rushing into this without a decent plan of action. And right now I wasn't quite sure how to answer Love's question.

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(Tomoyo)

Sakura was clearly struggling with an answer to Love's question. I could tell she hadn't given it much thought which surprised me a little. Other than in her earlier childhood the Sakura of now was much more focused on her actions. What she did, she did with purpose. I should know since I had been treated to some of the happier moments that showed this change. Then again. Sakura also carried some great grief over everything that was tied to the current situation with her. And grief often served to easily cloud your common sense and rational judgment.

I had thought about it myself for a while after Sakura revealed that bit of her timeline to me. When we were younger I had always tried to help out the brunette with her problems, trying to ease some of the weight off of her shoulders. She had often been so innocent and with such a pure heart that it was hard for her to come up with how to deal with serious situations that called for the possibility of hurting someone in the process if the decision she made was the wrong one… or especially the situation where someone would likely get hurt nonetheless.

Sakura now was no longer afraid or incompetent to make these decision on her own which she showed quite impressively about four years ago – more or less relatively seen. Yet, I knew what a deep emotional scar the events of her timeline had left on my girlfriend. As much as she tried – successfully for the most part – to be cheerful for me and everyone else. So, although I did not know all the details – that much I was sure of – I had been thinking about the situation, trying to help Sakura in those small ways. I had somehow anticipated that moment might come and she might need my support then.

Thinking had sparked some ideas but also some questions that needed to be answered first. And so, gathering my courage – since I was still rather impressed and awed by the sudden transition from the real world into this… other realm – I spoke up quietly, "Can I ask a question?"

Both Love and Sakura turned to me, the latter raising an eyebrow a bit surprised while the former merely smiled and nodded. Taking this as a "Yes" I managed to bring my jumbled thoughts into some sort of order. "Sakura-chan told me that by creating you and the other card Clow made a mistake. I take it he was… aware of it because he put you… um, here." I gestured around us, not quite sure where exactly we were other than inside the seal which for some reason didn't sound appropriate enough for me. Love nodded. "Well," I asked tentatively, "I don't mean to offend your existence but… Couldn't Clow just have… returned you to what you were before?"

At that Sakura also looked visibly curious and turned a questioning glance towards Love. The sprite looked a tad bit miffed at the question, obviously not really happy with the reply she was about to give. "That is a hard question to answer. You must understand that when Clow created us he invented an art of magic lore previously unheard of in such quality. In the old days – which have been long lost to human history – magic was drawn upon directly and so were the elements. They were used temporally. Clow, however, bound an element to an inanimate object, giving both the object and the element an independent personality in a way. That is what you see as our human-like appearance. We are a small portion of the larger thing but we can also interact and draw upon the flow of elemental power that we were once a part of. A lot like an Elemental but we are not as natural." Love paused, waiting for us to absorb this. I saw that Sakura seemed to have less trouble following while I had a hard time comprehending all of this. The gist of it wasn't lost on me though and I nodded to Love to continue.

"When Clow created his first set of cards he bound a great amount of already pre-bound elemental flows – a mistake he did thankfully not repeat with the cards you own now – and by doing so unknowingly tapped into us who we have made up the seal for ancient times. I cannot really fault him since our nature is already complicated as it is and he must not have understood exactly what we there. The problem is that after creating us, he disrupted the flow of the seal. Yes, he did try to return the elements after realizing that grievous mistake. But Clow was a Black Mage for the most part. I do not mean that he was evil but he believed more in power and the use of dark magic for his purpose and that magic is also easier to force things rather than to patiently coax a power into doing one's will. And you cannot force healing. So fixing something, returning what he took by force, was much harder for him than the initiate action. Simply put, he put so much effort into creating us that with his personal affiliation it was impossible for him to simply undo it again." Love sighed mournfully. "He put us into the seal the way we are now to try and reduce the damage. But the Feared One is quite patient and we will not be able to hold her off much longer. Does that answer your question?"

I nodded, my mind hard at work to process all this but I had gotten the answer to what I needed to know indeed. "Is it still possible to return the flow now?" I caught Sakura's eyes light up in the beginning of comprehension and smiled at her faithfully.

Love considered the question for a moment. "I would believe so, given the right circumstances. Why?"

At this point Sakura intervened. "I think I get where Tomo-chan is going. Clow's reincarnation said I was already much stronger than he was and my power is different from his, so is the way I treat the rest of the cards. I… I don't know if I can do it but if… if it's possible..." She looked down at her feet, almost appearing a little meek but I could tell from her posture and slightly shaking hands how much she wished to be able to make that difference.

"I am certain Sakura-chan can make it," I put in reassuringly, squeezing my girlfriend's hand tightly. Sakura flashed me a grateful smile.

Love smiled faintly but for the first time you could really tell it was fake. There was a deep melancholy in the sprite's eyes and once again I could see that soul-shattering loneliness. "Something is happening right now. My mate has left her path and moves into a specific direction. I was worried that is why I moved as well to meet her."

"Mate?" I asked curiously. It was obvious Love was referring to the second card but the choice of word stroke me as odd.

"In ancient times before the seal was created our power belonged to those that eventually fueled it into this layer. They were soul mates, so to say, and we are more or less mirror images of our former selves." A troubled look crossed her beautiful features and I could hardly think of anything else that had ever looked so out of place. "I do not doubt your abilities," Love addressed Sakura, "but if you claim me now, you must seek my mate with utmost haste or I fear the seal will break before the next sunrise. I do not know what happened to Silence but I worry for her well-being…" My heart reached out to the gentle sprite, looking so fragile and vulnerable at the moment. Not knowing what happened to her beloved had to be a terrible experience.

I glanced at Sakura who had her eyes closed for a moment before moving forward with an expression of firm resolve in her face. I had seen it so often before but every time it fascinated me anew. Gently taking the sprite's hands in her own, Sakura smiled at her gently. "This is why I am here. I understand now about the consequences of unsealing Time." Love gasped at that. "I know now that this is what I was meant to do, why I am here now. I will set you free, both of you, that I promise." For a moment card and Card Mistress looked at each other and after almost a full minute – though I could not be sure how the passage of time was handled here – Love gave a slight nod. Sakura let go of her hands and stepped – or better floated – back slightly, never letting her gaze leave that of the card's spiritual form. Her star wand reappeared in her right hand from wherever it had gone and she brought it forward in a smooth but not at all forceful motion. "Return to your original form," the brunette almost whispered, "Clow Card."

Somehow the whole thing was rather anti-climatic for a card that powerful. But then again, the real challenge was still to come.

******************************

(Sakura)

An hour later our small – relatively seen – yacht dropped anchor at one of the small island in the middle of the archipelago. Otousan pointed out that those small islands were not on any chart and Sonomi declared that she hadn't seen them until we were almost at shore. My suspicion was that all those small isles were either protected by a strong field of illusion or not entirely in the same dimension as ours. I didn't know that much about dimensional theory but I wouldn't exclude the possibility. Not that the issue was really relevant in light of the situation.

"It's almost dusk already," I commented, looking over the small isle roughly a few miles in diameter. It would probably not take long to walk from one end to the other – even less flying. The most imposing landmark was the single mountain, rather thin but probably higher than the whole island. Up at the peak I could sense the unmistakable power of the second Seal Card. Silence.

"It's up there," Tomoyo stated my thoughts quietly, making everyone look at her in surprise. Except me that is. Quite frankly I had only been mildly surprised that there obviously was some sort of magical gift inside my girlfriend. I had felt it on occasions before, especially during our… _mating_. While the intensity had me focused on other things more interesting I knew that feeling from Syaoran and my lovemaking on my timeline. In those moments you were the most exposed and your magic could run wild. No, I wasn't really surprised. More like curious since her magic seemed so different from my own. Older somehow, which might be a good explanation why neither of us had sensed anything yet. Ever since… claiming Love – it wasn't like I really had to return her to her original form since it wasn't really wild to begin with – the magic around Tomoyo was actually tangible.

To my surprise someone else put the general surprise into words. "I am surprised you can see it."

I blinked, turning sideways. That voice… Clad in long white and green Chinese robes a young boy around Tomoyo and my age had stepped up to our group. Unlike the ten-year old or the boy who once held my heart on my old timeline he had his brown hair tied into a ponytail falling lightly over one shoulder. A sword was stripped to the simple belt and he wore an expression that was hard to read.

"Syaoran-kun," I whispered, a bit dumbstruck, rather floored by his sudden appearance. I had been so concentrated on what lay ahead off me that I had not even sensed his presence and therefore was not quite prepared for the conflicting emotions his appearance managed to stir in my heart. Those lasted only for a moment though. It surprised me a little how quickly I managed to get my feelings under control yet the last months – even if a bit under Love's influence – I had come to the unmistakable realization that my feelings for Tomoyo went far beyond what I had ever felt for Syaoran. And therefore, even before my girlfriend could react to his presence in any possible manner, I had reached out, lacing my fingers through her own and giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Sakura," Syaoran nodded, his voice not betraying his stoic demeanor for any other than me who got to know him pretty well in all the years we – well, his other self and I – had spent together. He did notice the clear gesture obviously and there was the barest hint of sadness, gone the next moment, but I was sure about its existence. That couldn't be helped though.

"Where are many types of magic that Clow's family didn't even know about. You shouldn't be that surprised," I answered his question. "Excuse my bluntness. Not that I am not… happy to see you again but I am kind of in a hurry. While I can guess part of it already, why are you here?"

Syaoran sighed and glanced up towards where Tomoyo had pointed. "Yes, it is quite obvious, isn't it. my mother and I both felt the disturbance in the seal's flow when Silence passed over China. I followed it all the way until here. It's been hovering there for the better part of an hour already, doing… well, nothing."

I raised an eyebrow at Syaoran's obvious knowledge about the seal since the one of my timeline had only learned about it from his mother when there was little to do anymore. Something we both had been quite angry about. "So, your mother let you in on Clow's dirty, little secret, huh?"

With a shrug the Chinese boy turned back to me. "Only the most necessary I am afraid. You seem to know what is going on for some reason though, so why don't you tell me?"

Turning away I started to walk in the general direction of the mountain. "I don't have time to stand around. If you want to come along we can talk while walking." Glancing back at the rest of my family I asked, "Maybe you should wait here. This is going to be dangerous enough."

Touya, as expected, wanted to protest, being the overprotective brother he always had been and still was most of the time, but Otousan was faster. "I saw a small building, looked like a shrine, at the base of the mountain. Maybe we should go there first. I'm sure there is a reason for a shrine to in the middle of an obviously uninhabited island."

Syaoran nodded in agreement. "I spotted it too. But I wanted to wait for you before checking it out. Maybe it has some meaning for what is going on. What do you think, Sakura?"

I traded a brief look with Tomoyo. The reasoning was logical. If a battle ensured, I wasn't sure about the effects. A building might provide more shelter than staying out at the open or in the ship. I really had not wanted to pull all of my assembled family along into this but that option was taken from me. Love had been clear about it that I couldn't return the flows individually. I had to have both cards to make this work and there was only a short time limit in between. I could have send them back with the ship and use Fly, of course. On the other hand I had no idea how much magic I had to spend in resealing the seal.

There was not much helping it, as it seemed. "Alright. Let's go."

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(Tomoyo

To say that Syaoran was shocked to learn how exactly it had come to the turning point in our lives about four years ago would have been an understatement. A big understatement. He was, I noted, quite furious at his mother for not telling him more about the seal but I suppose that was really not something the proud family of Clow's descendants liked to talk about. Also there was no telling how much Syaoran's mother really knew and how much she was just pretending to.

I kept silent most of the way, letting Sakura explain. Yes, I was pretty surprised at seeing the Chinese boy here but after all that happened, especially under Love's gentle coaxing, I wasn't about to suddenly turn into a jealous, mistrusting bitch just because my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend turned up without warning. Going back and reviewing that last thought I had to suppress a giggle in spite of the serious situation. That sounded rather awful.

That's just it though. The situation was serious. I should have known better than to think it would be that easy. Of course Sakura couldn't just claim the two Seal Cards one by one and return the flow in a similar fashion. They were like Light and Dark. Always bonded together. If it was even possible to return one power flow by itself, the result could very well be a greater disharmony as there had been through Clow's meddling. Now Sakura only had a few hours to catch the other card and return the seal's old strength. I wasn't one to doubt her ability to pull that off but the time limit was rather thin. Therefore it was necessary that all of us concentrated on the task at hand, not losing ourselves in personal quarrels.

I was seriously glad that Yue had turned back to Yukito for the moment who managed to divert Touya's attention quite nicely. The older Kinomoto sibling kept throwing dark glances in Syaoran's direction, giving me the idea that the tension between him and the Chinese mage was not necessarily because of Sakura. They just simply didn't like it each other.

I was amazed at how… relaxed the rest of the family took all this. Especially Sakura's father and Okaasan. They had obviously gotten the hint very quickly that keeping distraction at bay for the moment was the best thing to do. For Sakura and everyone else. This was the first time all of us have been card hunting together, especially our parents. It might have been involuntary but that couldn't be helped right now. And seeing all this loyalty and support my heart fluttered at the thought that I was an accepted part of this family.

The sun had already disappeared behind the mountain, beginning to sink into the ocean behind it at any given time now. There were a few stars already visible in the sky. I felt a little tired but didn't want to complain right now. It was apparent Sakura wouldn't get any rest before sunrise and I would be there with her all the way. I always had been and always would be. There might not be much that I could do but Sakura herself had said that she depended on my support and faith for her strength. And if that was how I could help, I had sworn that I would always be there to give Sakura a reason to show her beautiful strength.

"Hey, look! That must be it!" Kero-chan cried out from the front of our small group. He had taken the lead with Touya and Yukito, the adults behind them and then the three of us in order to give Sakura and Syaoran some time to talk… and to keep Touya and Syaoran out of each others' hairs. That arrangement had more or less worked since Okaasan and Fujitake-tousan had taken to give each other flustered and embarrassed looks instead of verbally bringing up what had happened under Love's influence. I doubted there really was any hidden feelings there. That was quite frankly impossible. Sakura had explained that Love sends out positive emotion. Feelings like jealousy – and in a way you could call it that, at least from Okaasan's part – were more or less also emotions associated with Love. What the card's power did was take that emotion and more or less return the opposite much stronger. I wasn't sure though if Sakura just said that for our parents piece of mind alone.

At Kero's shout I tore my eyes away from Sakura and Syaoran who had stopped talking as well. The temple was hard to miss at first glance. Built under a ledge that covered the whole building in shadows. The design was quite unfamiliar to me and I was pretty sure the structure was one of its kind in the world. Dark blue stone sustained thick pillars who were built side by side in a way that it was rather impossible to actually pass through in between. At the sides the structure widened, stretching out to both sides like wings of some gigantic creature. There was a single entrance with something resembling a golden eye looking down at those who dared approach it. I really would like to know about the building's material and I was quite sure that eye was some form of crystal that was worth a lot of money.

"Quite impressive," Okaasan stated as we all came to a stop at the base of the few stairs leading up to the entrance. "Looks rather lonely to me. I doubt someone is living out here."

Sakura's father shook his head at this, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "I don't know. This place looks old and it is too clean and well taken care of to be abandoned." I had to agree with him on that one. The shrine looked neat and without a spot of cobwebs or dust, no debris lying around either.

"Someone's coming," Sakura said and everyone stiffened automatically. I noticed Syaoran sending Sakura a surprised look at the statement but couldn't quite fathom why. Didn't he sense anything at all? I knew I was new to that kind of thing and if I could feel the presence then he should as well.

I didn't have time to give that much more thought since whoever Sakura and I had sensed coming was just appearing in the entrance. The woman's features were striking. Clad in a white and blue traditional miko robe, with long blond-golden hair falling over her back, and enchanting blue eyes. Compared to Love's sprite form though this woman looked… older. Wiser, might be a better word. Her whole appearance spoke of a long lifespan and great experience collected in her years. But just like Love there was also a certain loneliness. It was harder to see than in the card's eyes but nevertheless was there. And while Love's loneliness had touched me I felt a heavy sadness tightening around my heart for a brief moment inspired from that of the woman. Something familiar and in a way compassionate that shouldn't be possible for strangers.

Were we strangers? That was a more logical question than one might think because the moment I had seen the woman there was that undeniable feeling that I should… that I DID know her. That was absurd, of course, since I had always had a good memory and would surely have recognized someone as impressive as her. Yet I could not deny those feelings and this only served to really confuse me.

******************************

(Sakura)

Long blond hair, like a waterfall cascading down the back of a subtly powerful body. Blue eyes deep and enchanting. A lot like Tomoyo's at times but still different in their own way. They stroke a feeling of familiarity in my heart that was so strong it shook my very worldview. For a moment the older, wise but in a way rather lonely face was overlapped by something younger, more innocent, more kind and… happy. For a moment it was as if there was only me and that woman, our bodies pressed together, our lips…

_What the heck?!_

The image had sent a shock through my system that managed to bring me out of whatever weird trance I had been in. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out what exactly just happened there. It wasn't a fantasy. I didn't fantasize about other girls – especially strangers – like that. I had Tomoyo, I was perfectly happy with Tomoyo. In fact seeing and talking with Syaoran again had not changed a single thing about it. The feelings I once held for him had subsided. Some kind of love would forever be there. But it was dull and – as painfully as it sounded – negligible compared to the fulfillment being with Tomoyo gave me. But the feelings that had erupted in my heart for just a brief moment at this… this… _image_… they were almost just as strong. It didn't feel like a mind-produced possibility. It felt like… a memory.

And that was rather disturbing, to say the least.

"Welcome, I have been expecting you, Lina-san, Amelia-san," the voice of the woman shook me completely out of my momentary shock. She bowed her head respectfully and smiled up at me almost… apologetic.

I was seriously glad that Tomoyo for some reason had also been intently focused on the woman because I was pretty sure she could have SEEN all that had went through my head just now with but a glance. She had always been able to do that. Also I was glad that although my girlfriend… mate, I corrected myself mentally – feeling a need to put an emphasis on our relationship –, was equally captivated by the blond-haired shrine keeper – I presumed –, Tomoyo was still able to formulate words. An ability I didn't feel quite content about right now. "That is funny. This is the second time someone called us that. Love did so, too…" Tomoyo trailed off but her words struck me as true and a wild thought entered my mind just then.

What did Love say? We were not "awakened" yet? I've read a bit about reincarnation. Heck, Eriol was living proof for the whole thing. I knew through some brief acquaintances in my future, when everything went to hell, that there were a lot of people on this planet who were quite aware of a former life, even drawing power and knowledge from it. Was that what Love meant? Could this be what I just experienced? A flashback of some former life? I didn't really want to think about it but quite frankly the names used by both Love and the stranger sounded… right somehow.

"I am sorry. As is true for Love's current form, my mind still lingers in the past sometimes." The woman smiled, yet it was a sad, wistful smile. One that made me feel… guilty somehow. It almost confirmed my theory. The smile quickly faded to a more serious expression, one that told of years… heck, probably centuries of experience. "My apologies again. My name is Filia. Before you ask. Yes, I am quite aware of why you are here and what is going on. We have little time indeed but there are things that I would wish you to know. If you would please follow me." She gestured towards the shrine entrance behind her.

Numbly I felt myself follow, grasping Tomoyo's hand tightly as if to reassure myself that she wasn't going to disappear. I had the feeling that whatever those things were that Filia – the name stirred something in my heart as well – wanted us to know would start a chain of events that might jeopardize everything that I worked so hard to achieve. That somehow it would disturb the relationship between Tomoyo and me.

She must have felt it because while we walked through a series of hallways, the lavender-haired girl next to me had moved a lot closer, her presence managing to calm myself down enough to think rationally again. Well, as rationally as possible in this situation. A situation that was quickly spinning out of control. Everything happened so fast, one shock after another. This was a turning point in our lives. A nexus of events to come. I could feel it. Whatever was done and discussed here on this island tonight would have an impact on the future. A heavy impact. And everyone seemed to feel it somehow because they mostly kept quiet, just the occasional question directed at our guide regarding the age of the structure or if she lived here all by herself. From which both answers only strengthened my rebirth theory.

Really, for the rest of us the whole thing was probably just confusing. They were pulled along by the tidal wave Love's capture – or was it even further back than that? – had started. They could probably feel the rising tension and that something important was happening. But without a sufficiently trained magical sense… When I was just beginning all this, I doubt I would have sensed the coming – practically inevitable – change. But now I did. I saw that from Syaoran's somewhat grim expression he did too to some extent. Yet, I was pretty sure it didn't touch him as much as it did… us. Yes, us. From what I could see Tomoyo was deep in thought as well, trying to figure all this out. She was probably feeling now what I would have felt about twelve years ago – including two senses of time.

And for some reason that DID reassure me. We were in on this together, somehow. There were ties between us even outside of this life. And I could FEEL these ties were strong.

After walking for a bit, we reached a bigger chamber. Not really gigantic but the vibe I got from this room was of high importance and a sense of nostalgia. The presence from the young woman was rather active here. Heck, I wasn't even sure about her age. This Filia was a complete mystery to me. I couldn't get anything detailed from her aura. Her shields were nearly perfect, just showing glimpses of emotion on the outside every now and then. And I knew it took a very long time to hone your mental defenses like that.

My observation was cut short though as my gaze settled on the interior of the room. Well… What was inside the room was rather sparse. More important were the various… pictures lining the wall. It was hard to describe them with proper terms because I'm not sure those terms existed in this time period. They seemed futuristic somehow, a bit like holograms, but also had a sort of ancient touch. Like paintings, or wall drawings. They actually looked like they were part of the wall.

There were so many I had a hard time deciding where to look first, awed by the vividness of the pictures. There were a few though that caught my eye immediately and… well, not really surprised me. There were some of Her, making it painfully clear that this was some kind of memorial of a time long past. Probably of the time when Pandora was first imprisoned.

What drew my attention like a moth to the flame though was a single picture, showing three young woman standing in a sort of triangle around an enormous structure, in poses of deep concentration. There were auras of power _drawn_ around them. But that didn't really interest me right away. Those figures were familiar, so damn familiar. A woman in long robes with a staff and purple hair that I couldn't immediately place but knew deep down that she was… had been… important to me… us. A slightly younger woman who carried a somewhat child-like experience in white garb with a white cape and a necklace. She had shorter, black hair with a few purple highlights running through it. Her eyes, her eyes were much like… no, EXACTLY like Tomoyo's. And then there was the redheaded one. The most striking of the three. Dressed in similar clothing as the other two with a black cape I felt like looking in a mirror. Outwardly there were a lot of difference between her and me but still I just knew that…

"Is that…" I whispered, speaking up for the first time since meeting Filia at the entrance and getting here. "… us?"

******************************

(Tomoyo)

"Is that… us?"

Sakura's words shattered the tranquil atmosphere that had settled on the group since reaching the island. In the empty hallways of the shrine the silence had become more than just a little uneasy. Barely bearable. More like suffocating actually. At any other given time I would have enjoyed the rich style of art with which the shrine was built, its true beauty kept more to the inside than the outside. I would have been excited, would have loved to ask more questions…

But they were inappropriate. And deep down I knew that those things were irrelevant. They simply did not matter right now. Not only because of the current situation that was still looming over our heads like the Grim Reaper's glaive. No, that wasn't all there was to it. I couldn't explain it. I lacked the words or Sakura's understanding of the mythical. I did not have her experience. But I KNEW that there was something much bigger going on here. Sakura's unease was evident and even a totally insensitive jerk could have seen it.

And now that feelings actually had a name. And the feelings Sakura's statement evoked were confusing, conflicting even. I realized that I had been staring at the exact same picture for the entire time, trying to figure out why those three woman looked so familiar and why my mind constantly tried to draw associations to Filia and Love's manner of address. However, a part of me was SCARED of that association. And to a degree that was because that part KNEW that the association was TRUE.

"Nani?" Syaoran exclaimed next to us, looking incredulous. "You don't mean…"

"Yes. This shrine was built in memory of a war that took place a very, very long time ago. And yes, you Kinomoto Sakura, as well as you Daidouji Tomoyo were a part of this war. At least your past lives have been as I am sure you have figured out by now." Even before the woman named Filia confirmed Sakura's statement, I knew it was that way. There was no denying it and doing so would only do more harm than good. That much I was certain of.

"Is this from when the seal was made," Kero-chan asked from his place on Yuki… Yue's shoulder – darn, he really unnerved me with those changes sometimes. Kero's voice had grown deeper, more like his true self. More serious. For the first time I tore my gaze away from the picture of the three woman and noticed in various others the presence of a sinister vaguely female figure, often accompanied by an aura of evil that seemed to be alive, tangible in this artificial state. Sakura had never given me a clear description of how this Pandora looked, but there was no doubt that this had to be her.

Filia nodded solemnly. She glanced at Sakura for a moment before launching into the tale and I really wished I wasn't so damn observant all the time. I could deal with Syaoran's looks directed at my girlfriend. It was to be expected that their was sadness, pain and probably some jealousy too. I could deal with that because Sakura had made her choice between us. But the same things that I saw in Syaoran's covered glances, it was there with the older woman too. Yet with Filia it was to a degree as much wistful as it was almost painfully intense. And what really got to me was that as hard as I wanted to be jealous, I couldn't be. Because some part of me knew this woman and this part just couldn't harbor any negative feelings towards her. It was confusing and frustrating and…

I shoved it to the back of my mind, reminding myself that there were more important things to deal with right now. Besides, Sakura had been rather adamant about her faithfulness on more than one occasion. I had nothing to fear for the moment. I had time to dwell on that later when I knew more and the current mess was dealt with.

"Time is short I know that." Filia looked up briefly out of the huge window above that showed the top of the mountain from where one magically gifted – which all of us except Okaasan were – could see Silence's presence hovering just above the tip. And those dark clouds that were gathering, slowly beginning to cover the Moon's light were more than just unsettling.

"Those clouds aren't natural," I said quietly, more to myself than anyone else. But the quiet surrounding the group carried the words to everyone else without me even meaning them to.

Sakura nodded grimly. "Yes, and it's getting worse. I don't think we have time to stand around here and talk. I really like to know more of this but it has to wait until after I finished what I started. There are only a few hours left. And I seriously have no idea how long this will take."

Filia shook her head. "Please, trust me. You must know all that has happened back then. If not to awaken your past life's memories, then at least to truly know all that is at stake here. This must be hard for you to comprehend but please understand that I will not jeopardize all those years of lonely vigil to see you sacrifice yourself because you did not know all that there needs to be known."

At this I studied the woman incredulously. From how she worded it, it was apparent that with "years" she didn't just mean, say a decade or more. No, it sounded more like she had been around the whole time, ever since the ancient war of which the pictures spoke. And that had to be a very LONG time. A pang of sympathy once again made me aware of how much that woman meant to me… had meant to me once.

Filia turned away from us, glancing at the very picture that had Sakura and my attention captured moments ago and her voice was thick with emotion, lacking that certain element of control that had dominated her whole being for the few minutes I knew her. "I could not stand to see all of this happen again because I failed in my task. So many lives were lost to Her back then. The world must never experience this horror again."

Sakura and I looked at each other and for the first time I really got a good look at my girlfriend's face and how much the whole thing affected her, how much that stranger affected her. And I also saw the fear there, the fear of things to come. But also the knowledge that this was an inevitable event and that she had to eventually face it. We had to eventually face it. I smiled at her reassuringly, briefly reaching up to brush some hair out of her face. Sakura knew I trusted her but as was the case so often she wasn't sure she was worth that trust. An unspoken understanding passed between us and Sakura slowly nodded.

Whatever happened or had happened in the past, it was never going to destroy us. There was simply no turning back now after the events of just a few hours ago. The love that was between us was as vibrant as before and it would not weaken by whatever was to come in the future.

Sakura turned back to Filia. "Alright," she said softly. "Then please tell us everything." She paused briefly, then added, "Anything that is needed to know."

******************************

(Filia)

I had been ready for that meeting. I had been forewarned by several sources but now that the time was really at hand I felt horribly unprepared, meager and insignificant. Seeing the two girls, even after all this long time still fond in my memory, standing before me again so young and vivid, so… different… I became painfully aware that they were not and probably would never be Lina Inverse and Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune again. My cherished friends and comrades. Their memories would eventually return but their personalities were so different that I could hardly expect them to be the same girls.

Glancing at Sakura out of the corner of my eye, I added mournfully that She would definitely never be the same again. It was ironic but in the way there was not much difference to the situation of the past. I would always be a substitute anyway, as harsh as this might sound and as much as their old selves would probably protest. I never really belonged with them. And yet I had hoped and it was that hope that had kept me sane all these years.

There was no time for that now. I had time to pity myself later. Silence was getting darker and I really didn't want to risk too much by keeping them here any longer than necessary. But even if they succeeded today, it would just be a small victory and they had to be prepared for the coming war. I desperately hoped that it wouldn't come to that, I prayed every day, but yet I knew that ultimately there would be no way to change the inevitable. Just prolong it until they were ready.

Composing myself I nodded at the two girls who were standing rather close together, hand in hand. I hope I could do this well. I was never really good at storytelling and spending most of my time in solitude didn't help that skill any. "Eons ago, in a time long before the current evolution cycle of this planet, the universe was a rather dark place to live in. Life was scarce and lived in constant fear by the various entities and beings of darkness terrorizing the stars everywhere. Nobody knew where she came from, she came literally out of nowhere, wiping out whole civilizations with but a wave of her hand. Or so the stories were told among the stars. She is a being born from the negative side of Chaos. Chaos is what we deem the beginning as much as the end, where we come from and where we will eventually return to. It is neither Good or Evil. She, who was named Pandora, has practically no light in her. She is the embodiment of Darkness. All the negative emotions you can name and even those you can't. Hate, despair, malevolence. The races feared her everywhere."

I paused gauging their reaction slowly. I realized that Li… Sakura must have told them from her own experience already and therefore the faces looking back to me were mostly grim but I could see the fear in the young brunette's eyes and I knew where it stemmed from. I knew very well what that monster was capable of, remembered it vividly even after all that time. Every time I went to sleep I saw the lives lost at her hands and the sacrifices made back then, including theirs and my own. Sad enough that what Sakura had witnessed was just a portion of what that being was really capable of.

I turned around, gesturing at various of the holographic recordings associated with the last big war. "Then Pandora came to us. Earth was a torn planet back then, populated by many creatures who fought each other for dominance. We were rather ignorant for what was going on in the universe and were really not prepared for the terror Pandora brought upon us…"

I moved over to a picture showing a young woman with silver hair bound in two ponytails with a crescent moon on her forehead. Next to her stood a younger girl with a similar hairstyle in blue tones. To the duo's left and right stood three others in their formal warrior uniforms. A blonde with long hair and blue eyes, a dark-haired shorter girl with a menacing-looking glaive and a taller woman with black-green hair and a long staff. From Sakura's reaction I could tell she did recognize the uniforms at least. Not to surprising considering from where she came. They ought to have met.

"However, Earth has always had been a nexus of sorts. The mythical energy filling this planet and especially what is known as the Tokyo area in this time has a high concentration of power that attracts all sorts of gifted mages or other magical individuals. There was one girl who had a heart as pure as Pandora's was black though. She managed to unite as well the gifted as much as the God and Demon races of Earth to stand up to Pandora. A war ensured that was long and bloody. It claimed many deaths." I closed my eyes for a brief moment, trying hard to banish the memories rising to the surface. "But eventually we managed to seal the evil being away in a gigantic effort bringing peace to not only the world but the universe as well."

I finally arrived at the image that – not surprisingly – held the most attention for the two girls who were now listening intently. "Despite all of our efforts the best we could do was seal her away. She was to powerful to just destroy. The seal consisted of two layers to ensure that Pandora would never break free again and terrorize future generations. Those three woman you see here were the most gifted human mages of our time and they used their powers to bind Pandora into her prison between the dimensions. They literally sealed her with their very life force knowing there was no other way and as a result…" I trailed off, for a moment not able to hold my composure. All those millennia had done nothing for my heart to forget that day. It was still as intensely painful as it was back then.

Everyone was silent and Sakura and Tomoyo looked rather uncomfortable, holding each other now more tightly. They were so close. Just like them and in this time there seemed to be no big social complications. I was happy for them. I really was. Even if I had no place in their lives anymore, at least they were happy. I just hoped they would accept Sylphiel when the time came. I could deal with the loneliness, I had done so for thousands of years. She though…

"The three became known as Children of the Seal, their power sustaining the barrier that made Pandora's own useless. As you have guessed already you are two of those three brave girls, reborn in this time."

At this point Sakura interrupted. "Matte, how can we be their rebirth if they… we are supposed to keep the seal in place? And what about the powers that Clow converted into Cards…"

I nodded, the question was to be expected. "The seal consists of two layers. As strong as your previous selves were their power was not unlimited and there were holes in the seal. Tiny but they were. For that reason the warriors of our leader used a portion of their given power and made a second layer. It was supposed to be like a safety net. However, as you said correctly already, when Clow tempered with those powers he disrupted their natural flow. By placing the cards he created back into the seal most of the damage was repaired but the seal wasn't flawless anymore. I can only guess but I suppose that might be the reason why you were reborn and why you have become the new Card Mistress. Because no one else could possibly be able to undo the damage. The sealing power is still active, inside of you. You are not aware of it but your mere presence is sustaining the inner seal."

Of course that also meant that they had become less untouchable by Pandora and I had the feeling that Sakura at least understood that as well. Neither of us said a thing though. There was no need to cause even more troubled feelings as it was.

******************************

(Sakura)

I found the whole story strangely familiar. As if I really had been there. Well, given that what Filia just told us was the truth – and I could just tell it was – I HAD been there. At least my past self. I wondered if I had dreams about it sometimes that I didn't remember after waking up in the morning. That happened sometimes. As the Card Mistress my dreams usually were vivid and I remembered most of them, as stupid as they might be. I had gotten used to that. Sometimes though I could try as I might but I couldn't remember what I dreamed about, similar to the dream about Clow all those years ago. But with Clow I at least had a feeling that I did dream something important. Yet, at those occasions there was practically no recollection. I used to pay it not much mind, figuring that even a mage needed some normal dreams at times that faded from memory with the morning light. Now though, now I couldn't help but wonder if there was some sort of connection.

A loud thunderclap suddenly vibrated high from the mountain top and made us all look up. Tomoyo flinched a little and I pulled her closer to my body while observing as the dark, unnatural clouds began to block out even the last light of the night above the little isle. I could SEE the dark power at work, I could SEE the horrible wrongness, yet I couldn't quite detect what exactly was going on. Only that it was really, really bad.

I really couldn't just stand around here. Past be damned, I needed to do something!

"As I feared," Filia stated and I turned back to her momentarily. "She is trying to corrupt Silence."

"Corrupt?" Tomoyo echoed and I narrowed my eyes. I really didn't like the sound of that.

"There is nothing you could have done about it," the shrine maiden – or whatever she actually was – said sadly, as if reading my mind. It unnerved me with how much casual skill that woman managed to get past my defenses. There was some sort of strong connection between us in that past life of mine but I had stubbornly pushed it back for the time being. This was not the moment to dwell on those or other such things – I glanced briefly at the picture of the three moment, feeling a pang of longing once again race through me at the vivid portrait of the purple-haired woman…

"You must understand that Silence power is a destructive one. It is not Evil – if you want to use the term – just destructive. A power much closer to the Feared One than that of Love. Love has been the total opposite even though not as powerful in terms of strength and as long as the two powers were in harmony there was not much Pandora could do against them." But now Clow's meddling had separated them by creating magical spirits of their essence. They were no longer in direct, steady contact, I understood at that moment. The pieces began to fall into place and that loneliness I saw in Love's eyes was also making sense.

"Clow gave the power's form, their spiritual bodies are a mirror reflection of their former wielders and since they have a form now on the Astral Plane She can make use of that. It's a long and tenacious process but She seemed to have managed to lure Silence here. Here where the Warrior's layer originated."

Flashes of dark lightning illuminated the sky briefly, an eerie glow of a dark foreboding. "Then I have no time to lose. There's only a few hours left until dawn. Not to mention if Pandora is really trying to break through, I have to do something about it."

"And how will you do that?" Filia asked calmly. The question let me stop in half-turn. Yes, what was I going to do about it? Sure, I had managed to capture Time and Love but they had more or less wanted to be caught. A hostile card as powerful as Silence, possibly blinded, corrupted and even empowered by that beast… Could I really just go in there and… and… yes, what? Catch it? I had no idea what that would do with Pandora controlling the card's spirit. I could accidentally even provide her with a means of escape. That would mean cutting off the influence first. But how should I do that? I knew how powerful that being was and even if her influence was just minor it would cost probably all of my powers. And then I would have no power left to restore the seal in time…

I glanced sideways at Tomoyo who had gently squeezed my hand. "I am sure Sakura-chan will find a solution." I marveled once again at this infinite belief. The words were said with so much conviction that everyone hearing would immediately lose any doubt if they were the truth. Coming from her there was really no question at all. That unconditional trust and love she gave me had always been my silent strength, the fuel for my determination, her love…

Of course!

To Tomoyo's complete surprise I suddenly pulled the lavender-haired girl into a brief but nonetheless deep kiss. I didn't really care about the others right now. I felt so incredibly glad that I had this wonderful, inspiring girl at my side that I just had to show her. I really doubted I wouldn't even be standing here at all if not for her constant support and advise. Even when she didn't really mean to give anyway, she had always inspired me.

Tomoyo blushed, a little flustered, as I released her. "Arigato, Tomoyo-chan. I think I know now what I have to do."

"A-Anytime…" Tomoyo whispered and I couldn't suppress a little smirk at the look on her face.

Someone cleared his throat and I turned to look at Syaoran, looking clearly uncomfortable. I felt a little guilty for doing that in his presence but I really didn't care right now. "If you have a plan, then we should get going," he said seriously, his face schooled into concentrated features.

I was a little amazed at his silent offer but knew that even if things between us had changed, he still wanted to help in some way. And also, he had made all the way here without even knowing that we would probably meet. I could need the help though. I hoped to get this done as peacefully as possible but there was no guarantee for my sketchy plan to work out flawlessly. They rarely did.

I nodded slowly, releasing Tomoyo and turning to the rest. "Alright. Yue you come with me and Syaoran. Kero you stay here with the rest…" I was quick to ward of his protest. "Yue's powers are greater at night. Yes, I could empower you easily but I really don't want to waste more energy than absolutely necessary."

The little stuffed animal pouted but after a short period of holding my gaze, he nodded in defeat. "You are probably right. I wouldn't be of much help."

I motioned for Yue and Syaoran to follow me but was stopped by a gentle hand on my shoulder. I glanced back at Tomoyo's worried face. "I'll be careful, I promise," I stated with the confidence she herself had given me just a few moments ago.

Tomoyo hesitated for a moment, but then spoke up softly. "I… I want to go with you."

I blinked startled at the request. This was not like Tomoyo at all. She would normally never be that unreasonable and reckless. Granted, we hadn't come in any dangerous situations since we got together until now but usually she knew better than to needlessly bring herself into danger, thus distracting me from the actual situation. Therefore my first reaction was to be a vehement denial, however, that look in her blue eyes made me stop. There was something… something that made me reconsider. I had the feeling she had no idea why she made that demand just now. Like an instinct one couldn't really explain.

I thought back on the events of the last hours. Tomoyo had been there than I had confronted Love. For some reason both of us knew that only together it could be done. Tomoyo had clearly developed some sort of magical sense. And after Filia's revelations it was rather obvious that this magic was from her past life. We were in this together. I really didn't like to put her into danger but… The more I thought about it, the feeling grew stronger in me that I absolutely needed her to come with me. If only for her presence, only for her being there and the confidence she managed to always instill within me…

Closing my eyes briefly, I made a choice.

******************************

(Tomoyo)

Grasping tightly onto Sakura this time it had not much to do with seeking closeness since I was much more concerned with holding on for dear life. _This really was a stupid idea_, I mused for the thousandth time. _Not that Sakura actually agreeing with me was a much better idea_, I added. I had really not been sure why I insisted to tag along with Sakura and Syaoran – who was right now carried by Yue. No, I absolutely could not explain what had overcome me. Normally I knew that all that would achieve was me turning out to be liability in the end, getting Sakura into trouble for my sake. Yet, something made me speak up. There was this indefinable, STRONG urge telling me that I had to be there.

Somehow Sakura had understood it, probably better than I did. And Filia had even agreed, saying that only our power together could have a chance to stand up to an influenced Silence. Heck, I had NO idea what the hell I could even DO!

No, this definitely wasn't a good idea. The wind was more than just a hassle. It had risen to the strength and speed of a tornado, whipping through our hair and entirely unfitting clothes. Out in the summer we had not expected to fly through a chilling storm in the middle of the night. At least I had not.

Sakura was struggling to hold the wand steady. She had cast Fly on her staff as she had done before transforming the cards. This both for my sake as for her own. The strain of flying up to the mountain in this wind – even without my added ballast – would have been great enough. That didn't make the task easier now though. Yue was having a hard time moving as well.

"We are not getting any further," I cried over the thunderous wind. A few lightning bolts flashed left and right, much too close for my taste. "Either we'll be ripped apart before we are up or it will at least take us hours!"

I wasn't sure if Sakura heard me but she had obviously come to the same conclusion. One of the cards appeared in her hands and she held it up into the air. "Windy, clear a path through the storm for us!" I wasn't really certain if that would work but not one to doubt Sakura's abilities I snuggled even tighter against her as the storm for a moment seemed to reach another new height but then the strong winds were magically pressed back, creating a calm zone around us and Yue who had barely managed to close the distance before Windy's magic took effect.

Losing not a single second Sakura pulled the winged wand almost completely vertical. I let out a startled yelp as she flew us upwards inside the calm zone at blinding speed. I would love to see what happened around us but I had my eyes closed and was really glad that moment that Sakura had insisted to sit behind me. I'd probably have fallen of right now.

After what seemed a small eternity we slowed down again and as I reopened my eyes I realized that Sakura's reckless maneuver had brought us straight up to the summit, just a little bit away from the center and where Silence… raged. Touching down on the peak Sakura banished Fly while Syaoran jumped from Yue's arms – who in turn took a moment to regain his breathing from the flight. "That was fun," Syaoran commented dryly. "Now what?"

Sakura glanced up towards Silence. It was really a frightening sight. All that one could see right now was a deep purple glow. Not bright but dark, at some points even fading into obsidian black. I squinted my eyes, trying to see a bit clearer, trying to make out anything of importance. The funny thing was I did see something. Once again I couldn't really explain how I knew but I did. "It's hurting. Hurting badly," I said, the feeling barely bearable. There was so much pain, so much… agony.

Both Sakura and Syaoran looked at me as if I had seen something they couldn't. Then it hit me. They really couldn't. Not like me. Filia had told us just before we went up that my past life had not only been a good healer but also had developed a gift to see things on the astral plane when she grew older. Quite frankly I had no idea what she was talking about but there hadn't been much time.

"Can you see where exactly something is… wrong," Sakura asked tentatively.

I tried to concentrate hard. The necklace around my neck that Filia had given me glowed softly. It was hard to hold the concentration though and there was so much different things to see. Silence had such a huge presence and the energy released all around it didn't help at all. After a few moments I sighed and shook my head sadly, feeling drained by the effort. "No. I can see that something is wrapped around her… spirit. Something that doesn't belong there."

"That would be Pandora then," Syaoran said. "So the woman was right. She actually managed to push this far forward." He looked at Sakura. "I guess you want to severe the connection somehow?"

The Card Mistress nodded, her brown hair now blowing roughly in the strong winds. "I'm not sure I can do it forcefully. But Silence should be able to do it herself." At both of our confused expressions she pulled out a card. It was Love. "You reminded me of it, Tomoyo-chan. Love said that they are mates since their former wielders were. I'm sure if something can calm Silence down to a degree where she can fight back, it would be Love. THEN we should have a chance."

Syaoran chuckled a little. "In a situation like this your trump card is the surreal love of two magical spirits?" With a smirk, he finished, "That's so like you." Squaring his shoulders he was about ready to move on. "Well then, I suppose you need a distraction to get close enough. Coming, Yue-san?"

The silver-haired man nodded stoically, having kept silent while we discussed the plan of action. I bet he had some comments of his own but held them to himself obviously. I doubted he had a better idea anyway. Sakura's made sense though and from what I could see Silence was just as lonely as Love. They just dealt with it differently, much differently.

I cried out as suddenly a rumble shook the entire mountain. My eyes barely registered that a gigantic bolt of black lightning had crashed through several layers of stone, nearly splitting the small mountain apart. Instinctively I reached out for Sakura's hand but with horror realized that the storm blow had not only affected me. All four of us were slammed back by the incredible force that definitely was not just that of a natural element. Obviously Silence didn't like company.

The whole thing happened far too quickly. Bah, time slowing down in moments like this! It was rather the opposite. One moment we were standing atop the mountain, the next we were slammed over the side, surely tumbling to our deaths…

And yet again the next moment, everything was over and I found myself held by something that felt like some animal's skin. I blinked, the shock from what nearly happened just setting in as I sat up slowly. Well, animal would probably really understate things. The creature that I was currently riding was of a deep golden color with massive wings. While I had never seen one – in this life at least – there was no mistaking it that the creature was a full-fledged, golden-colored dragon. A big, strong, impressive dragon…

"Are you alright," the dragon rumbled in a voice while a little different in volume and tone was rather easy to identify.

"F-Filia-san?" I gasped, still numb with shock from the near death experience.

The dragon chuckled… well, at least it sounded like a chuckle. Probably a snort but I really didn't care about details right now. "I thought you could need some help." The wind once again picked up, nearly blowing me from the human-turned-dragon's back again. I buried my fingers tightly into the back of the creature who had obvious troubles to maintain her balance in the turbulent winds.

Glancing to the side I saw Sakura hovering next to us – Fly's wings on her back this time – faring not much better. Yue, holding Syaoran were on the other side. Sakura shot me a truly worried look and I could see the still visible panic that must have filled her when we were flung from the mountain.

"Look!" Yue cried out over the crescendo of the storm and we all did as he said. The strong pressure had obviously forced all flying parties to keep a strict distance. We were rather far away from the island now but even from here one could see that the storm had become almost one giant twister, laced with purple lightning and as black as the darkest night. The sight sent shivers down my spine and I felt numb with a sudden cold. It was like the icy breath of death.

******************************

(Sakura)

The shockwave of power was even stronger than the one that had blown us from the mountain top. Yet, it wasn't really a forceful, brute power. No, this one came subtly, silent like a whisper in the wind and still with a force as strong as all of my cards combined, probably stronger. That enormous presence was Silence but it was also much more. I felt it even from here and the fear rising in my heart, I could not suppress. I had tried to deny it but there was no mistaking it now. That terror-inflicting presence could only belong to one being in existence.

The whole island was enveloped in a cocoon of pitch blackness, only occasional lighted by the eerie lightning and a barely visible glow of energy that I suspected belonged to Silence. Right now the high concentration of magic was just that. A concentration. But if it was released…

"With that much power, the whole planet is going to burst if it erupts unhindered!" Yue shouted. I wished I could disagree but frankly that were my thoughts exactly. Suddenly I remembered something vital and for a moment I felt terrible ill. Stretching out my senses I tried to locate the familiar auras in the black tornado but couldn't find anything. Then there was a faint echo, a little outside the danger zone. I glanced down to see a small spot that had to be our ship racing away from the isle.

"I had a feeling something big would happen and brought them back to your boat," the dragon rumbled. There was no mistaking it by now that it was really Filia. It didn't surprise me very much. From the beginning I had sensed something supernatural in her. No human being should be able to hide their aura so well. And the dragon part was familiar, probably glimpses of my past life again. I really didn't know what to make of all of this. For the moment I was just glad that she had saved Tomoyo when I hadn't been able to. Those were long, horrible moments for me. I felt so damn helpless, barely able to stop my own fall. If it hadn't been for her…

"This is not good. I don't think any of us can break through there," Filia stated darkly and I had to once again agree. Fly's power was barely able to hold me anymore and Filia's wings looked not that good either, Yue wasn't better off. Not to mention that the sheer power Silence was emitting was as good as any barrier.

Before I could respond there was a glow in front of me and Love's sprite form appeared in the air before us. "Silence…" she whispered hoarsely. One could hear her voice breaking with pain at the sight. I didn't even dare to try and understand how she felt. That would mean I had to picture Tomoyo in a similar state, controlled and corrupted by Her. Thinking of the thought alone was sickening. And even more so I was amazed when Love seemed to practically glow with confidence, staring ahead into the darkness with sheer determination. I would do the same, of course. In her place I would do everything to save the one I loved. I had experienced the consequences of helplessness before and I'd swore myself never to let this happen again.

And that left me with only one path to follow now.

"Can you break through there and take me inside? There is still a faint presence left. If we act quickly, we might be able to severe the connection. But I have to get inside first," I said, gripping my staff in a tight grip. I ignored the shouts of the others that t was too dangerous. There was no other solution to this. Truth be told, in the face of such gigantic power I felt small and useless. But rather would I die trying before waiting for destruction once again.

Love was quiet for a few seconds, then she turned and fixed me with a stern gaze. "No, Mistress. I cannot take you alone. Pandora's influence over my mate has grown too strong already for me to withstand alone. I need someone else's strong love to support my own. Together there may be a chance to pass through unharmed."

I gasped as realization set it. The way Love said it, there was no question who exactly she was referring to. "You mean…" I started, turning fearful eyes in Tomoyo's direction. There was no way I could jeopardize her life even further than I had already. I should have left her with the others in the first place. Because of me she almost died once already. This was my mess, my battle. I couldn't put her in danger because I wasn't strong enough alone…

Tomoyo blinked, puzzled for a few seconds before comprehension dawned in her eyes. I was wondering at first if I really saw the flash of panic, just for a moment, but even if, it was gone almost immediately, replaced by an almost solemn expression. Guessing from her usual selfless behavior, I could guess already what she wanted to say. "Tomo-chan, don't…" I flew closer to her until I could reach out and touch her face, my eyes gazing into hers. "I can't put you in danger like this. Please… I…" Words pretty much failed me at this point and the grip I maintained on her shoulders must have become painful. There was that scene again, flashing before my mind's eye. Tomoyo, in my arms, dying…

Gently, pale hands reached up to take my own into them, making me glance down for a moment before hesitantly meeting her eyes again. "This is not your future, Sakura-chan. You have been given another chance to make it better. Believe in that, believe in yourself, just like I do."

I was paralyzed in amazement. I had witnessed it so many times. But now, in this situation Tomoyo's true strength shone so bright it could light the zone of darkness. Immediately a warm, soothing sensation spread through my whole self and I welcomed it openly. "Aren't you scared?" I was scared. Just a moment ago, I was so scared I rather wanted to turn and fly the other way than facing this nightmare… again. Now it was only a dull sensation. A bearable background feeling. Because of her.

"Of course I am," Tomoyo said gently. "But I know everything will be alright." I was pulled forward suddenly but didn't resist when Tomoyo pulled me into a brief hug. "Because I believe in you."

I was defeated. I had known the moment that Tomoyo looked at me that I wasn't able to win this argument. When her arms went around me, with so much trust and love, I gently flapped my wings and lifted her from the dragon's back. "Only with you I can be strong," I said, realizing once again how true those words were. How much confidence the knowledge of their truth brightened my soul.

There wasn't a further word said but it wasn't necessary. The orb of light surrounding us, making maintaining Fly unnecessary, was of a bright golden radiance. I could feel the purity and the love, our own feelings mingling with the magical force created by the card. It was magnificent and much stronger than what it felt like before.

Hand's clasped tightly, we turned around and with a slight nod Love shot forward right into the darkness ahead.

******************************

(Tomoyo)

A void of total blackness. Not a light fell anywhere, not even a glimmer. If not for the illuminating shine of Love's protective barrier it would be impossible to see one's own hand. And the void was not only pitch black but also cold, so cold that it would probably be warm at the North Pole. Not so much a temperature-induced coldness but one that threatened to freeze your very soul. An icy breath of foreboding, of promised annihilation. And not even a sound penetrated the thick veil of darkness, causing even the simple of action of breathing to sound like tiny sonic booms in the deathly quiet.

When I said that I was scared, I had meant it. But now, now I felt actual fear. This place was… No, there wasn't a word to aptly describe it. However, everything in me shied away from the incomprehensible… evil filling the very air – if there was even air outside the bubble. Something in me told me that it wasn't supposed to be evil. That Silence alone wasn't evil. Filia had pointed this out. Which only meant that Pandora's control had to be more or less ultimate inside this zone already. If not for Sakura's presence and the tight contact we kept, I wasn't sure if even Love's powers could have kept me from running away.

I felt Sakura tighten her grip to an almost painful level and saw her face contorted in deep concentration. "I can barely bear it. All that hate, fear, terror… it's… it's like the dead are being tortured." A shiver run through the other girl and I realized that I wasn't much better off. Sakura's comparison might be a little crude but that was just how I felt right now.

"Unfortunately, that is the case," we could hear Love reply softly. At her words I glanced around and almost jumped at the shock. I could see them. Tiny wisp-like forms. Suspended in the space around us, bound by tendrils of the darkness, they were the only thing that indicated that there was indeed color around us and not just void. Looking at one closely I could SEE their torment, I could see the utter agony tearing them apart inside out but yet never ending their peril. It was sickening and I wanted to scream but my voice had been caught in my throat. For a moment I felt a glimpse of what they were going through and… and…

"Don't look!" I felt myself being turned away from the sight at Love's sharp warning, Sakura pulling my face against her body and I was instantly grateful for that. I had been frozen in place, alone I might have been caught in the moment forever. Desperately I tried to regain my composure but couldn't help a few tears slipping out, drenching Sakura's clothes as the horrible realization set in what exactly I had seen.

Only gradually I managed to quell the terror in my soul, still weeping for the fate of those around me. Sakura was rocking me gently and it helped somewhat to calm my nerves, I could draw strength from her presence. It was a hard fight for control though. "It's… it's so horrible…" I breathed, clutching tightly at Sakura for fear of being left alone in here.

"I am sorry," Love said, sounding guilty. "I had not expected that the Feared One had such control over my mate already. Even with my power I can only dim the experience."

"What happened just there? I can feel so much terror all around us, What did Tomoyo see?" Sakura asked, worry clearly evident in her voice. I would have answered but I was unable to voice the horror I had unintentionally witnessed.

"Lost souls," Love replied solemnly, her voice telling of her own sadness. "The Feared One feasts on them. It has always been her greatest pleasure to convert the souls of living beings, strip of all their positive feelings and only leaving the darkness that every life form possesses as pure as they might be. They are left alone, in a state of utter torment, forced to spent eternity with their own terror. It is worse than Hell." Love was silent for a moment as Sakura hugged me even tighter. I could feel her trying to pour her own love into me but she was struggling as well, now that the evil presence around us had a name. "Tomoyo's abilities to see the Astral Plane must be returning slowly when she can actually see them. But believe me, seeing it might be very traumatic, actually experiencing it though…" Love trailed off and I could hear something that sounded like a gasp, followed by a deep wail that threatened to wrench my heart right out of my chest.

Startled I turned around to glance at what had inspired such terror in the gentle card spirit and SAW. I damned that ability already. I saw Silence up ahead, glowing a very faint purple, almost consumed already by the thick chains of darkness covering more or less every inch of her spiritual body. It was like with the souls I had seen but on a much larger scale. I had to fight myself not to look further, knowing that I surely would become lost in the process. While the tormenters of the souls had merely been mindless, a part of something bigger, this… this… thing was the epitome of terror, the very incarnation of horror. At this moment I really understood why everyone feared it so much. My understanding of those latent abilities was small, most based upon instinct, but what I could see was enough to scare a god, that much I was sure of.

"Phoebe!" Love cried out in terror and I could really not blame her. I didn't pay that much attention to the name but instead was focused on what to my eyes was best described as something like a black hole. Always devouring everything around it. I knew somehow that in reality – or better on the physical plane – where was not much to be seen. That being wasn't present in this world, it wasn't tangible. The only body ir had was that of the Card's spirit and to say those had actually physical bodies would be stretching the term. Sakura had once explained that she didn't really know the border between what was physically and what spiritual about the cards. They could interact with their environment but their sprite form was the only thing that really gave them some sort of solid shape on this plane.

That being, Pandora, was so huge that Silence's sprite – which I could dimly see slowly drowning in the ocean of darkness – was not more than an insect in comparison. And it was unrelenting, holding the card's spirit mercilessly, not giving it even an inch to move.

At the shout though I could see just a little quiver, rebelling briefly against the tainted presence. The being simply tightened its hold and I could literally feel the pain resulting from that action. With a lot effort I tore my gaze away slightly, trying to divert my focus.

"Foolish humans. Did you think you could stop my release?" The voice echoed all around us. It wasn't at all what I expected. I had thought it would be something more… sinister. Not that quiet, controlled voice that was neither soft, nor loud. For all I knew it was… normal. Controlled to a degree as if this was just a normal conversation and not bragging about the coming freedom and how she would be destroying everything or something like that. I felt Sakura clasp my hand tightly but it seemed she wasn't really surprised which had to mean that this seemed to be a normal thing for that feared entity.

"What did you do to her?" demanded Love vehemently, the glow around us intensifying to nearly blinding levels.

There was a pause and then Pandora's voice came again, almost as if not paying the question any mind at all. "I owe that whelp a lot. Before his meddling you were just energies, perfect power flowing steadily. He gave you a spirit, feelings of your own. Just mirror images of your former owners' but that was enough already. You became independent in a way, be it even so small. I had spent so long in slumber I could wait the few more centuries it would take to work my way into this one's mind. With Silence's power I can finally burst the seal. You cannot change that anymore. Your efforts will all be in vain. Your _mate_ is already mine, and the rest of you will follow soon."

No, that wasn't true. I risked another glance at Silence and saw her struggling weakly. Obviously Love's presence seemed to get through to her despite the powerful control. "Don't listen to her," I shouted, "Silence is still there. She can sense you!" An idea had hatched in my mind and while it was more like a piece of straw in a raging river I grasped onto it. Sakura had put her faith into this in the first place and from what I saw thee still was a possibility that it might work. I looked up at Sakura, our eyes met while I grabbed her other hand tightly. Concentrating on the love in my heart for the beautiful girl I let it flow out. I didn't hold back and let it fill me, my whole self vibrating from the intensity. Only a moment later Sakura followed suit and I could feel our hearts beating in synchrony. The glow of magic erupted into a shade too bright to look at. Closing my eyes, I held firm onto the feelings inside me, hoping that it would be enough for Love to reach her mate.

******************************

(Sakura)

The experience was one of the most surreal I ever had… and really… those were a lot. Sensing what Tomoyo was trying to do, I quickly joined her efforts and being more experienced, took all that love created at this very moment and channeled it directly into Love's own protective sphere. The star key in my hand glowed softly, the effort not really all that noteworthy since all it had to do was focus energy.

I thought back on all of the time spent with Tomoyo, both in my old timeline as her best friend and now in this in something much more. How much the feelings between us had blossomed beyond my furthest imagination after my choice. I felt my spirit slipping away into a sea of brilliant gold. It wasn't suffocating, no. Instead it was comforting, an embrace of absolute happiness. This was a plane where the physical self didn't really exist anymore and all the soul and spirit felt was pure love.

Only about a decade of training enabled me to hear the voices, the desperate pleading and the silent war for control going on.

"Phoebe!" Love called out to Silence. I figured since they were mirror images of the ones who released their power in the first place, the name was probably that of the assorted Senshi. It was at least a logical explanation and I had more important matters to think about than that.

"Is that you, my love…" The reply was faint and with the thin concentration I managed in this plane while my main focus was still on focusing and channeling our feelings into Love I was for a moment not sure if I really heard it. But then it came again, a bit stronger, desperate now. "I thought you were… She said she took you from me…"

"I am here," Love quickly reassured. "Pandora tricked us. She used our brief separation to claim your spirit. You have to fight back."

"I can't…" There was a flare of helpless fury, a spark of power that was more senseless defiance than any real threat to the control of the dark being. "She's too strong. I can't fight back… not without you…"

There was a brief pause and then I felt Tomoyo's feelings change, concentrating on another aspect of our relationship and I welcomed it thankfully. Those feelings of trust and sincere faith I had discovered to be my greatest strength, something that had been shown in the last few hours many times again. Feeling my own confidence rise, I relayed it all to Love, knowing that a Clow Card could increase its strength then the wielder increased their will.

"I know you can do it. I trust it," Love said, picking up on the delivered feeling. A ripple went through the darkness outside the protective bubble. I could nearly see Love's power filling the zone almost completely. I could sense Silence mobilizing enormous powers, pushing back the control over her spirit, slowly but steadily. I redoubled my efforts and Tomoyo responded in kind. It was working it was really working. Pandora was struggling with the only control she had of the physical plane as of now. I knew that logically beating her that easily was impossible. However, what we had her was just an extension of her true self. A part of her spirit. There wasn't much more the seal allowed… yet. That had been my only real hope in that matter, that maybe she wouldn't be strong enough to withstand a focused assault in this state and would be forced to retreat.

And then everything shattered. I was amazed at myself that I had even the time to push Tomoyo away when the bolt of darkness crashed right through Love's bubble with a destructive force that could have easily shattered the planet if we still were fully on the earthly plane.

And where before had been absolute love, the embrace of safety and utter calm, like a mother's womb, where before in the state we entered was only a bit of discomfort at our surroundings and what were the echoes of the lost souls all around us, all that had transferred into the total opposite now, amplified several times and then doubled again. When the pitch blackness touched me I could feel all the terror this plane emitted and now I really fully understood what Tomoyo must have seen when she had looked at one of the tormented souls. The experience was only of a mere moment but I felt such fear in the presence of such… sickening… WRONGNESS that I would have been glad if someone just ran me through with a sword, ending the horror.

"TIME!" I cried out, not able to give any more clear orders or form equally coherent thoughts. Thankfully enough Time might be a mysterious card that rarely told me anything and if, then often in rather mysterious terms, but she was also the most intelligent card I had ever come across. I still didn't know what her role in all this was and firmly believed that there was a lot more to her when she let on. As it was Time did exactly what was necessary.

I sank to my knees and hands when I felt the protective bubble of temporal energy flicker into existence. I could hear the quiet whimpers from Tomoyo and wanted to do nothing more than to comfort my girlfriend. Yet, I was still much to paralyzed from that brief – but still much too long – ordeal. Frantically I reached out, trying to locate Love's presence. I had felt the bond ripped apart and feared for the worst. If Love was… destroyed – and I really had no idea if that was even possible – then the seal would be void. Relived I noted that there was a faint glimmer, signaling that Love was still there and as I raised my head I saw that it wasn't going to be any longer at this point.

The sprite form of Love drifted almost lifelessly towards the darkened form of her companion, an easy target for Pandora to capture. Soon they were united again but probably in a way both would have liked to avoid. Silence's power had risen to a cold flare of anger but without Love's support it lacked conviction. The card was struggling, unrestrained fury pulsating around her. But the will to fight back had been broken the moment Love's power had been.

"You thought you could push me back this easily. In here where there is chaos. Chaos fueled by everything you term negative. Every positive emotion is as weak as a candle in the wind. This plane is my creation and as long as I have Silence as my anchor where is nothing that can make me return to my prison."

Was that it? Was that the end?

Love had been my last hope. I had really BELIEVED that it would work. That was so unfair. I had been so close. If I had gotten to Silence a bit earlier, I could have repaired the seal and ended that nightmare once and for all. I knew I could do it. With Tomoyo's love and support behind me I could accomplish everything. It might have taken all my power but compared to fighting Pandora, repairing the seal seemed like mere child's play. What I could I do against something like this? Even that small part of her was so vastly powerful that fear was paralyzing my body. All the magic at my disposal meant nothing. What good did it do to be stronger than Clow when I couldn't even protect the few people I loved dearly? There was no way anyone could defeat her…

"Sakura-chan…" Tomoyo rasped out behind me and I felt slender arms encircling me, drawing me against her body. A jolt of pure devotion traveled through me, crashing into my spirit that already admitted defeat a moment ago, filling it with that awesome feeling I had come to cherish so much. Slowly at first, it was like a volcano, the lava bubbling just underneath the surface trying to get out. Questions shot through my mind, hard and unrestrained. What would happen to those that I loved? What would happen to my family? To my friends in Tomoeda? To Syaoran and Filia? To Yue and Kero? What would happen to Tomoyo if I… if WE failed here?

They would all die a horrible, painful death. Just like in the future I had escaped.

No.

Never.

I would not… I absolutely could not give up here!

Slowly reaching up to take Tomoyo's hands in mine I clasped them tightly for a brief moment. There was a mutual silence, then the familiar sentence spilled from both of our lips in sincere harmony, filled with renewed faith. "Everything will surely be alright."

I separated from Tomoyo without looking back, basking in her love as long as I could, keeping those feelings close to my heart in hope they would preserve me, channeling them directly to Light and mentally commanding her to secure my heart and soul, while I slipped Dark around my mind, to calm my fear and any doubts if they should arise again.

Then I stepped outside Time's bubble.

But not before giving one last command. If someone had directly asked me when Filia made the revelations about her past life, I would have told them that the surprise had only been brief. I had been aware of the power inside of me, the presence of arcane magic older than anything Kero or Yue could ever teach me. I had discovered it years ago but had been afraid of the change I felt would come. I was afraid of the consequences releasing the seal on that power would entitle and I knew deep down that doing so would change me. Not only magically but as a person as well.

Until now there was no need to even attempt it. Until Pandora there never had been the necessity for something greater than my own given magic. And the fear of consequences had outweighed the temptation by far. With great power comes great responsibility. Nothing happens without a reason, no power was ever given without taking something in return.

Light, Dark, Kero, Yue, even Time herself had told me where would be consequences for changing history. They never told me what consequences because they either didn't know or didn't want to tell. I had pondered it for a long time but only now. Only now did I understand. In the face of my greatest fear, I understood that the consequence would either be the destruction of this planet and probably the whole universe afterwards or…

"Time," I spoke softly, "release the seal on the memories of my past life."

And with that I opened myself completely to the bubbling power I had been secretly tempted to utilize more than once since traveling back in time. I held firm to Tomoyo's image in my mind and hoped that if something remained untouched by the ordeal it would be our love. I needed that power now, I needed the ancient wisdom of someone who had already helped seal Pandora in the first place. If my past life really had been as strong as Filia said, I needed her help now.

As the magic burst forward and I felt the flood of memories beginning a silent onslaught, I relented and accepted it all with the one thought in mind to protect those that I loved.

******************************

(Tomoyo)

It was like losing a part of myself. When I let Sakura go, I felt as if something was irreversible taken from me. While I had not much experience with supernatural encounters I had learned to trust my instincts since this mess started. My heart wanted to deny that something could… would happen to Sakura but yet my instincts told me otherwise.

At the same time though I could also tell that while I lost something, I would gain something, in the long run maybe even more than I would lose. Of course I couldn't really make much sense to me that moment and all I could think about was that I had such a really bad, sinking feeling in my stomach. I had no idea what exactly she was planning, hanging there in the void, just hovering for a moment. Wisps of white and black that I identified briefly as Light and Dark circling around her. I hadn't wanted to let her go. I really had not. I was far more worried about her life when to care about what might happen when nothing was done about Pandora. That brief experience outside in the void, unprotected and exposed to the horror of dark emotions had left me a frightened mess. I really had no idea where I had pulled the strength from to even move. But I had known that Sakura needed my support now, that she was on the verge of breaking and that I had to be strong for her. She depended on me giving her confidence. And as much the feelings of fear threatened to overwhelm me any moment now, the need to be there for Sakura was far greater.

And then Sakura spoke and everything began to make sense. I stood there on shaky legs, watching transfixed as a faint glimmer of crimson red formed around Sakura's form. Where it touched, the darkness recoiled for a moment. For a few, timeless moments that was all that happened. Sakura had her head thrown back and I could guess that her eyes were closed. Then suddenly the faint aura literally exploded in a bright flare, crackling and hissing like an angry flame ready to consume whatever lay in its path. It began to completely surround… no, swallow Sakura from head to toe, expanding in size and intensity until I had to look away as another bright flash of light temporally lit up the darkness.

When my eyes managed to finally adjust again, the darkness had mostly returned except for the purple shimmer of Time's bubble. Then there was Sakura. On first glance you might not see the changes, especially in the dim light. But for me, for someone who had known Sakura for so long, I spotted them immediately. The hair was longer, falling a little past her shoulders and of a darker shade of red, somewhere between the fiery orange-red that was in my memories from the picture in the shrine and Sakura's natural chocolate-brown. Since I couldn't see her eyes from here, those were all the physical changes visible, yet there were small things, things that were more appreciated on a subconscious area that I had learned to read and interpret for about five years. Subtle movements of muscles, body posture and her very aura that told me that this was not just Sakura anymore. Not just Sakura, but not fully someone else either. And what really made the difference from me was that the bond of love between us, that sense of awareness for the other was still there, not in the least damaged. No, it had actually warped a little and seemed to be even more defined than before.

I could have sworn I heard a gasp and when Pandora spoke up, somewhat disbelievingly I was pretty sure it came from her. "You?"

Sakura lifted her head up to gaze at what could barely be recognized as the sprite form of Silence. Both her and Love had been almost completely swallowed. While you literally felt the fear radiating from my girlfriend whenever confronted with the infernal being, now there was an air of calmness around her. Nothing in her body language spoke of doubt. There was a strong confidence in her abilities that for all her advances in magic my Sakura had never shown before. This Sakura – I really couldn't bring myself to think of her as anyone else even though I knew she probably was as much her past self again right now as she was Sakura – didn't show any fear in the face of the situation before her, there was no hesitation.

Briefly Sakura glanced back and I gasped as I felt myself captured in the most enchanting pair of gold eyes, sparkling with the fire of a miniature sun, a passion as vivid as the genki spirit of Sakura but mixed with something much more mature, maybe a little darker. I felt myself trembling and leaned against the inner wall of Time's bubble. Sakura sent a reassuring smile down towards me but even though her new appearance had stunned me to immobility I could detect a bit of sadness and regret there. I wanted to reach out, to say something, anything… But my mouth felt dry and denied me the favor of speech.

Then the now-redhead turned back towards her foe. "Not entirely. I am more now when I have been before." The wand in her hand flared with a bright white for a moment. "As you will see soon." Sakura really didn't waste much words. With one gesture she pointed the wand down at where Love and Silence were entangled in the mass of darkness that by now was rather hard to distinguish from the rest of the void if you didn't know where to look. I gasped in amazement as a beam of white light – on closer inspection turning out to be more like tiny little stars – struck the duo of card sprites that were holding each other tightly.

There was a startled exclamation of Pandora before she had to suddenly shift all her attention to the mix of orange and purple light erupting from within her. It was not nearly strong enough to burst their bonds but they were fighting back again, furiously. And that gave Sakura time and the diversion she needed for… Well, for whatever she had planned.

Sakura crossed her hands before her chest and I could see a deep red glow spreading from where she had put the four talismans Filia had given her. Then she began the incantation with the same calmness now dominating all her actions at the moment.

"_Shikai no yami wo suberu oo, nanji no kakera no enishi ni sitagai  
Nanjira subete no chikara mote ware ni saranaru chikara wo atae yo_"

Ever since entering the zone of darkness it had really been like in the eye of a storm. It was silent, an eerie quietness, and all that could remotely be considered wind was the icy death breath filling everything around us. Now there was a gentle breeze, slowly gaining in force as Sakura continued her spell. And as the wind grew in intensity the darkness seemed to… move. I knew it was stupid. I knew it was technically impossible – but then again what was not commonly termed impossible of the things I experienced since Sakura had become a Cardcaptor? – yet the vast emptiness around us practically seemed to gather around the Card Mistress and then flow between her cupped hands, slowly taking shape.

"_Akumu no ou no hitokake yo  
Sora no imashime tokihanatareshi kooreru kuroki utsuro no yaiba yo_

_Waga chikara waga mi to narite tomo ni horobi no michi o ayuman_

_Kamigami no tamashii sura mo uchikudak_"

Sakura's voice grew in strength as she chanted, the words beginning to almost vibrate with the power forming between her hands. There was a short startled scream as Pandora obviously took note of what was happening but something told me that it was already too late. The darkness between the redhead's hands had taken shape already. I wasn't sure if you could declare the blade of pitch blackness solid though. It was livid, wavering, always changing shape, never really stopping in its chaotic motion. I stared in stunned disbelief at the phenomena, something familiar stirring inside of me at the sight. And there was that feeling again that Sakura was risking more with that spell than was obvious at first glance.

And then I saw it. I saw the subtle shaking, the tensed muscled, squared shoulders, I felt more than saw the pain of concentration in her face that the spell demanded from her. It was a wild thought, yet I knew even more so that it was true. While the spell probably wasn't lethal. Sakura, reincarnation or not, was not used to it. Her body was mot used to the demands the arcane magic obviously put on her body and spirit.

I jerked back in slight shock when Sakura's head snapped around to look at me and right now her eyes were more a taint of red than the prior gold. "Amelia, where is the connection that roots her to the physical plane?" she shouted desperately. Her teeth were clenched and the eyes were turning more into slits right now. One even totally inexperienced with magic would see the colossal effort it caused the young girl to maintain the spell.

I didn't really pay the name much attention, on a level already understanding that Sakura probably couldn't distinguish between past and present right now. The desperation in her voice quickly snapped me out of my shocked state and I looked over at the tangled mass of semi-solid darkness and the rebelling card sprites. I had not dared to look directly again ever since the first time but now I knew what I had to do. I let instincts complete control and SAW. Spotting what seemed to my eyes like a big ball of the infernal presence that was Pandora I was pretty sure that this was exactly what Sakura wanted.

"There!" I pointed at the spot and mentally willed it for Sakura to be visible. I was surprised myself when the spot flashed with a faint blue light around the edges and for a moment thought it was just by my imagination, but judged by Pandora's startled exclamation, it must have really been there.

Glancing back to my girlfriend, I saw all the remaining cards dancing in a circle around Sakura, supplying tiny beams of magic that were absorbed immediately by the morphing blade of blackness, now held high over the Card Mistress' head, her gaze fixed on the one spot I had pointed out. Then, with a force creating a sonic boom, she brought it down on the knot of darkness that anchored Pandora to this plane.

"RAGNA BLADE!"

Absolute silence fell over the area when the blade came crushing down. For a frightening long moment disbelief and shock pushed to the forefront when the magical sword seemed to stop just inches from cracking the so tiny seeming knot apart.

"You… won't beat me… so easily…" Pandora could be heard, gasping out in obvious strain.

Then Love and Silence pushed upwards with a wave of joined power, drawing a scream from Pandora. At the same time Sakura pushed forward with all her might, a murdering scream of her own spilling from her lips. There was another moment in which nothing seemed to happen, then slowly the black blade pushed through the knot and everything exploded into bright white, accompanied by a shrill shriek that could have sent a dragon running.

******************************

Blinking my eyes my senses gradually returned one by one. I had no idea how much time had went by or if even any time at all had passed. My mind began to catch up with my senses and I began to remember what happened. There was a giant explosion when Sakura severed Pandora's connection to the physical plane and after that I remembered nothing. At first I wasn't sure if the release of powerful magic hadn't damaged my sight somehow because all around me was nothing but white. It was a stark contrast to the vast blackness from before. For a brief moment I wondered if we might have all just died and this was heaven or something.

But, I felt too alive to be dead. And then I became aware of the soft glows to my left and turned to see the sprite forms of Love and Silence. I gave a sigh of relief, walking over to them, all the while looking around in the infinite light for some sign of Sakura. "Where are we?" I asked curiously.

"In a small zone where our mutual energy flows met. We are in the only existing focal point of the seal," Love explained.

"I had been drawn and corrupted here by the Feared One," Silence stated in an emotional voice. But as emotionless as it seemed, her companion was obviously able to detect something more in it, squeezing her hand gently in comfort. I guess she had been feeling rather guilty about the whole thing. For the first I got a really good look at Silence's appearance, untainted by the influence of Pandora. Her skin was probably an even lighter tone of albino white, framed by short dark hair and somewhat cold and distant purple eyes.

That just left one question and I couldn't get that awful feeling in my chest to disappear that I wouldn't like the answer. "Where is…?" I started, but before I could finish my gaze traveled down to the figure on the ground. At first I didn't recognize the disheveled shape with the messy reddish hair and slightly torn clothing. But then I got a good look at her now pale, unmoving face and an anguished outcry left my lips. "Sakura!"

With one step I crossed the distance and was already on my knees before the last syllable even left my mouth. Gently, afraid to break her delicate form upon contact, I reached out to touch her face, searching for some sign of life, any reaction at all. My emotions were in turmoil and I couldn't think straight at all as all sort of nonsense bubbled from my lips. I tried to feel for a pulse but in my frantic state wasn't able to find it, only heightening the panic welling up inside of me.

"Pandora fought back against Mistress' spell. She had to put all of her magic and that of the cards into it to succeed," Love said quietly.

"Lina-dono was not ready for that amount of magic in such a young and inexperienced body. It not only drained her magic but her life force as well," Silence added, sadness this time audibly without much restraint.

However, I didn't want to hear it. "No," I rasped out, tears brimming in my eyes. I didn't want to hear the sadness or their explanations, I didn't want to hear it because… "She can't be dead. I don't believe she's dead!" I screamed at them making both card sprites recoil slightly at the bitterness and anguish in my voice. The cold and numbness I experienced in Pandora's void was nothing compared to what my heart felt like right now. "She promised me! She promised me everything would be alright…" I said, my voice turning into a whisper, silent tears spilled from my eyes as the truth slowly worked its way through my denial. "She promised…"

"To-Tomoyo…" My head jerked up and I stared at the girl in my arms, tears clouding my vision. Had I just heard…? I didn't dare to believe, I didn't dare to hope that… Sakura's eyes fluttered open weakly, barely on the brink of consciousness.

I felt my heart make a giant leap that could have crossed the whole planet with that one jump. Putting her hand against my cheek I smiled happily. "I am here Sakura-chan."

"D-Did I… beat her…?" Sakura choked out. I had to strain to even hear the voice but that was okay. She was tired. That was understandable. Just a bit of sleep and everything would be fine. We could go home and that would be the end of the whole ordeal. Just as Sakura said. Everything was alright.

"Of course," I managed to reply, a sob disrupting what I had planned to be proud and reassuring. Why was I still crying. Sakura was alright, wasn't she? There was no need for the tears anymore. They would only bother Sakura and I didn't need her to worry now. She was supposed to be resting.

"Good…" Sakura breathed with relief, her eyes slowly yielding to fatigue. I felt her fingers caress my cheek and sighed contently at the familiar feeling. "I am sorry…" The words, followed by the violent cough ripped me right out of my self-induced denial. All at once I became aware of how cold Sakura's body was, I became aware of the beat of her heart having slowed to an alarming rate. I became aware that the faint connection between us began to weaken to a point where it would be severed at any moment. I became aware that Sakura really WAS dying.

"Sa-Sakura…" I whispered fearfully, not wanting to hear the truth, not wanting to accept the fact that my best friend, my girlfriend, my lover, my mate was so brutally taken away from me, beyond my control, beyond anything I could do. However, I was unable to resist the truth anymore and that truth was like a sharp icicle bored right into my heart, draining all my life force. It was only a question whether I'd go from the pain or from the coldness.

"Dawn is approaching," Love said quietly, tears of her own glistering in her spiritual eyes. "When the flow is not returned, everything that has been done, every sacrifice would be pointless."

Pointless. The word echoed in my mind, crushing my already mortally wounded heart even further. Not only would I lose Sakura but it would all be in vain. Pandora would break free, Sakura's efforts without any effect, her death meaningless… Something inside that dead place that was my heart stirred, a tiny spark, not nearly enough to break through the ice covering it, but it was growing, growing slowly.

"N-No…" I glanced back at Sakura at her words, so faint now they were almost like the wind whispering. She brought her other hand that was still clutching the star wand up slowly. "Tomoyo… you have to… finish it…" My eyes widened in shock, my hands moving more on autopilot than actually wanting to as I took the staff from Sakura's limb fingers. "The… the cards love you… You have the magic… You can do it… I… I trust you…" Her breathing was getting shallow and the next breath was taking so long I was afraid it was already her last, but from somewhere she mustered the strength and a detached part of me analyzed with some sort of morbid amusement that this was just like Sakura, stubborn until the end.

"I love you… I am sorry that I have failed you… so badly… But I could not… let you die… again…"

Was that the consequence? Was that the consequences of using Time? If so, then that wasn't fair. If Sakura died here, all that would have really changed would be the four years we spent together. She wouldn't have saved anyone because the seal would break anyway, the same horror repeating again that she had tried to correct. Maybe that hadn't been her initial wish but her initial wish was to make me happy and how would having her sacrificed devoid any sense and as a result the entire Earth lost – including me –  make me happy?!

It wasn't fair.

It was not fair!

I didn't really understand why I was more angry than sad. I should be crying, screaming, anything, but all that I could do was holding the soft gaze of my dying beloved. Gold eyes meeting blue, not letting go until the last moment. The spark had become a small flame and was growing in size. An unnatural calmness began to fill me and as I sat staring into those eyes that despite the change were still so much Sakura I slowly began to understand. I began to understand why I had insisted on joining Sakura in the first place, despite the danger, despite my usual good-natured common sense. It wasn't because of Love and feeding her our feelings, it wasn't because I could suddenly see spirits and help to point out Pandora's weakness, it wasn't even really to lend the support Sakura needed so much.

No, I had made my request because of this moment, because of this very moment. Not because I knew Sakura would die but because I knew Sakura would die if I wasn't here. Filia's revelations had frightened me, I hadn't allowed myself to think about them, I had not wanted to face some of the implications albeit sensing that they might not be all that bad. And I was pretty sure Sakura had had similar troubles. However, my mate had not hesitated when there was no other choice. She had not hesitated to risk losing her very self in the process if it ensured the safety of those she loved.

And now it was my turn. If there was anything powerful in me, if Filia's tale about the strength of my past life was even remotely true, then… then… Then there had to be SOMETHING I could do to help Sakura. The other girl had saved my life so often. If I had this power, couldn't I just once, just this ONE time save her life? Was it too much to be asking that one favor? Had she not done enough already to earn some damn gratitude?

I refused to believe that this was the ultimate consequence of her actions. I refused to acknowledge that Sakura would be taken from me after only four years spent together like this. I refused to believe that everything that she had done, everything she had sacrificed would in the end be MEANINGLESS.

I simply did not accept it…

I wanted to help her…

I would help her…

I was able to help her…

Because…

My vision blurred without warning and I felt myself being drawn into the golden eyes of my lover…

******************************

()

The sky was a clear blue, a few soft white clouds strolled across the wonderful spring morning scenery, not doing much to obscure the warm – not hot – sun from illuminating the ground below. The various plants and flowers in the vast green field below seemed to actually stretch to take in as much of the sun's rays as possible.

Upon closer inspection one could see that the large field was not so much open space but a majestic garden, surrounding half of a grand palace. A figure sat in the middle of that vast garden, clad in white robes she appeared to be almost childlike and one not knowing could have mistaken her for one. But the blue eyes spoke of not only maturity but also a deep concentration. Short black hair fell slightly into her face as she kneeled by a single, lonely sprout of a tree. She had her hands placed over the pretty unhealthy looking sprout.

A second figure approached behind the girl and silently stood, watching as the first began to speak words of power. Not of force but of healing. Gentle, softly, the single syllables flowing like a beautiful ballad. The first girl's hand glowed a bright white but it immediately dimmed again after only a short time and the single green leaf that had spread from the efforts seemed to wither away. The girl let out a sigh and her shoulders dropped miserably.

The other girl smiled fondly, shaking her head in a mix of amusement and disappointed. Placing a hand on the dark-haired girl's shoulder she made her look up. "You still force it too much, Amelia-chan. Didn't they teach you patience at all?"

The last question was spoken with the hint of a teasing smile making the girl called Amelia pout. "Patience was never much of my greatest strengths. You know I trained in White Magic because it was expected of me as the Princess of Saillune. I don't think it ever was really my specialty." She reached up to touch the other girl's cheek, letting her hand linger in the soft purple hair falling slightly past the other girl's shoulder. "You've always been much better with this, Sylphiel-chan."

Sylphiel smiled sympathetically. "I know. But you want to be able to help if the situation should ever come up. You said so yourself. There might be a time when I am not available and you have an amazing talent, Amelia. You just have to learn how to use it properly."

Amelia nodded quietly, a look of determination entering her eyes, replacing the pout. "Thanks, with you guys supporting me like this I feel like I can do everything." With that she turned back to the withered tree sprout, once again concentrating solely on it, beginning to chant anew.

Sylphiel watched quietly, pride clearly visible in her eyes but also adoration for the other girl… no, almost young woman already that she held so dear. Her eyes closed for a moment and a happy sigh escaped her lips when a pair of arms encircled her waist from behind, drawing her against a third girl, slightly shorter than herself with distinctive orange-red hair and scarlet red eyes.

"How is she doing?" the redhead asked, nuzzling Sylphiel for a moment before moving her attention to Amelia who was lost in her spell, the white glow from her palms growing in intensity.

The purple-haired woman chuckled. "Amazingly well, considering we've only been training seriously for a few weeks. She doesn't realize it but she's learning this high level magic faster than I did." As if wanting to prove her words Amelia finished the spell and the magical light spread out from her hands in a steady flow, encasing the sickly looking sprout. Green leaves began to spread, the bark's color was returning to a more normal shade. All in all the sprout looked like it would grow into a very healthy tree one day.

Amelia released her held breath in a soft sigh and sank back to sit in the green grass. The redhead moved from Sylphiel, kneeling behind Amelia and pulled the pleasantly surprised girl into her lap. The taller woman sat next to them, resting her head on the redhead's shoulder and stroking softly through Amelia's dark hair. "That was very well done, Amelia. Just a bit more training and you can do it as good as I can."

Amelia shook her head in an adoringly cute display of stubbornness. "No way, I'll never be as good as you in White Magic or Lina in Black Magic."

The redhead, Lina, smiled lovingly. "Maybe, but you have more talent in all three magic categories than most normal humans, probably including us. I couldn't cast a healing spell like that in a hundred years and Sylphiel probably couldn't use attack magic to save her life." With a chuckle she added. "Except a Dragon Slave that is."

Sylphiel sent the redhead a mock glare at that but quickly joined in with her own soft laughter.

******************************

(Tomoyo/Amelia)

And just like in the memory the words flowed from my lips.

"_Seinaru iyashi no mite yo, hahanaru daichi no ibuki yo_

_Negawakuba waga mae ni yokoyawarishi kono mono o_

_Sono ooinaru jihi ni te sukui tamae_"

Recalling all those lessons, the hours spend with a gentle and patient, much more experienced shrine maiden learning the ultimate form of healing. Not forceful like a Black Magic spell, not wild and somewhat chaotic like an elemental spell. No, slowly, with steady precision touching each damaged area, healing what was injured, curing what was sick. A process not hastened but patient with the faith set in mind that even if it seemed much too slow, the pace would be just right. Healing was like that. It needed precision, it needed to be flawless, or otherwise a tiny mistake in an unimportant area could cause all the effort to be in vain.

White magical energy flowed into my hands from all around us, the seal's power obviously an even stronger supply of life force than I had initially thought. There was so much, I actually had to damper the flow a little in order to not be overwhelmed. All my concentration was on the redhead, the one I HAD TO save. My mate, in this life as much as in my previous. My mind was detached and I wasn't quite sure who I was anymore since all my focus was on the other girl.

I could feel the magic reach its peak. I had already patched up everything physical, now it was time for the last touch, the crucial point, to return the life to Sakura/Lina… to breathe new life into her almost dead body.

"RESURRECTION!"

******************************

()

Far away, back in Tokyo, close to Tomoeda actually, a young girl not older than Sakura and Tomoyo stopped in her mundane task of sweeping the yard of her family's shrine. Long purplish hair was blown back in a soft breeze when the young miko looked up into the sky with a look of puzzlement in her green eyes. For a moment there she had felt something oddly familiar.

After a moment, the girl shrugged and returned her work in patient acceptance.

******************************

(Sakura)

An angel.

That was the first thing I thought when I opened my eyes. After all I was pretty sure I just died and the face hovering above me was truly angelic. The delicate, pale features so much like Tomoyo, those eyes so deep and full of compassion, blue as a deep ocean or vast sky. The hair was a little darker, somewhere between black and deep purple. The happy smile and the glow in the angel's face were heartwarming, filling me entirely with love, completing me with just that single action. Only one person ever managed that – not including past lives right now.

"Sakura-chan," the angel whispered and my heart skipped a beat at the melodic, oh so familiar voice I thought never to hear again.

I blinked in confusion, wondering what was going on. "Tomo-chan?"

Before I could actually react I was pulled upwards into a crushing hug that threatened to split bones upon contact. The embrace was without doubt Tomoyo's. Nowhere else I could feel so at home, nowhere else I wanted to belong. Once in Tomoyo's arms I never wanted to leave again. Yet, this embrace was fierce, screaming with a mixture of burning emotions. Relief, happiness, longing. I could hear the other girls' heart beating in synchrony with my own. Soft, steady beats. They were the most heavenly music I had heard in my life because they told me one thing. Tomoyo wasn't dead… and neither was I.

"Tomo-chan, what…?" I started but never managed to finish, finding much more pleasant things to occupy my mouth with. The other girl had brought her lips to mine in a kiss that was full of desperation, conveying all the fear and sadness of not to long ago but also all the happiness and relief coursing through her. It mingled with my own mirrored feelings and was returned with an equally strong favor. Our spirits seemed to join for that single timeless moment and I began to understand partly what had happened.

When the kiss ended, I pulled back and stared into Tomoyo's eyes. Seeing not only the unconditional love of the one person I would give… had given anything for, but also something else, someone else. Dormant, not really awakened as the soul inside of me when Time released my past life's memories. "You saved me," I said softly, tracing the other girl's face with one finger, mesmerizing the few subtle changes. She was still mostly Tomoyo but there was a bit of Amelia there too. Before I had made that step, I would have been a little scared of the change that could mean for us. However, now with the full recollection of my past life, I realized how foolish that fear was. For us, there never had been any danger of losing something important. On the contrary there was actually more to gain.

"I had to," Tomoyo said simply but her eyes were still moist with unshed tears of happiness. I reached up to gently brush them away with one of my sleeves and smiled with unrestrained pride.

We could have stood there for ages, neither caring about the world around us. Unfortunately where was still one thing to attend to, as Love chose to remind us – of the matter and her presence that is. "Dawn is almost upon us."

I didn't cast my eyes away from Tomoyo. An understanding passed between us that went far beyond simple words. It was an understanding born from the ordeal we had just experienced and survived. With a simple mental command the forgotten star wand floated into my outstretched hand. I stepped back slightly and held it out between us, waiting. Tomoyo nodded and wordlessly clasped her own hands around the staff. There wasn't even a hint of hesitation. Both of us knew exactly what to do.

I closed my eyes, seeing more with my heart than I needed with my eyes, letting the power flow. I had understood that power at my disposal when facing Pandora with my full memories. The still untouched source I had never really given much thought. Up to now the wand had merely been a focus for using the cards, empowering them with my own magic. Never had I truly used the Star Magic on its own. Yet, stars were the essence of life. They gave birth to life, nurtured life, sustained life. They were the first children of creation and in them slumbered an almost unlimited power.

And the seal, Love and Silence were nothing more and nothing less than energy released by those who wielded the power of the stars, protecting life with their strength.

"_Key that holds the power of the stars_

_Infinite source of light, brilliantly shining in the darkest night_"

The chant, spoken from both us was done without preparation, yet with the conviction of certain success. The staff between our hands flared, warming to the touch, almost too hot to touch but never burning in the slightest. I could feel its form expanding. I could feel Love and Silence hovering just above us. Magic began to swirl in a beautiful dance all around us.

"_Release the slumbering power of creation_

_Bless these lost souls and return them to their true path_"

The dance began to quicken, turning into a maelstrom of power, a storm of creation that where it touched every life lost was restored, where it touched new life was born. In a small area around the coast lines of Japan entirely new life was born in what would later surely be titled as miracles. I wasn't really aware of this. My mind was focused on the task at hand.

Slowly I reached out, feeling Tomoyo join me in the effort. In a way it was much like a healing spell and I realized with quiet fascination that while my past life had not been able to do much in this area, Kinomoto Sakura was definitely a different story. The flux of magic finally reached its peak and with a final shout of power, it was released to its designed task.

"RESTORATION!"

The eruption of magic was not powerful. Instead it was more or less anti-climatic aside from the sheer potent energy concentrated into the spell. I opened my eyes, watching with rapt attention as a beam of purest magical energy shot upwards engulfing Love and Silence. For a moment nothing seemed to happen, then there were tiny ripples from the spots where the card sprites had been swallowed. Golden and purple light created tiny shockwaves and in the middle of them were the cards, glowing brightly in the display of power.

I could feel it now, the flow of their nature changing. The difference that separated them from how the rest of the cards were designed became pretty much undetectable. And in a last, spectacular display at the magic at work, a steady stream of their respective elements shot to either side, vanishing in the formless white.

*Thank you,* their voices could briefly be heard, then another bright flare made us avert our eyes and when we looked again, the two cards floated down, changed into the star design of my own.

******************************

Several hours later

The sun was just barely above surface level when our yacht was making its way back to the Japanese coast. The isle in the distance was only a mere rock formation, not worthy of the terminology land anymore. The violent storm of darkness that Pandora had created with Silence's unwilling help had pretty much ripped it apart and only the mountain remained partly and a few pieces of land from the surrounding isles, floating above the waves unattached.

          A gentle breeze caught my unbound, longer hair. Something I would definitely need to get used to. Sure, I could cut it or something but I didn't really like it. The physical change was a reminder, a symbol of the change inside me. Trying to describe it in words was hard. While I was still Sakura on most levels, I had all of Lina Inverse's memories, including those of her personality. That didn't necessarily mean a part of me HAD TO be her… but it COULD be. As I said, it was rather strange and my mind was just beginning to catch up with all that had happened in the last few hours. It was too much to comprehend all at once.

I glanced down at the two cards in my hands which I wasn't really sure what to make of. The seal was restored, the flow returned to its original strength… and the spirits that had been mirror images of the ancient warriors had vanished back into their own element. But our joined magic seemed to have done more than just release the bound energy, it seemed to have… created something new. The same element, yet with new, unbound energy. The meaning of this still left me rather speechless. I had pretty much made my own cards. Not changed already existing Clow Cards into Sakura Cards, but CREATED the latter.

          With a slight shake of my head I willed the two cards away, leaning back into the body embracing me from behind. "What are you thinking about?" Tomoyo asked softly, her voice showing her own tiredness. She was a much different story. Where had not been much of a change at all. Physically some facial features had changed and her hair was a little darker, fading into black in some areas. She didn't have a full recollection of her past life like me. Just glimpses.

I sighed, glancing out at the rather still water considering the rough vortex that had raged not too long ago. I really didn't want to go into this right now, having experienced too much and having been entirely too close to death just a short while ago. It was too early after the events that should leave me feel joyous and happy at our success. Yet, I couldn't be happy. "Don't laugh at me. But I think it was too easy." Silence, Tomoyo tightened her grip slight, but didn't say anything. "I feel this was just the beginning. All we did was sent her back to her prison. While the seal is restored, Pandora has already pushed very far to the surface. There is no guarantee that she won't find some other way. And that sooner than we might like." Especially since I was pretty sure she realized who were and there was no telling what she might come up with.

For a time the only sounds were that of the ocean, the tiny waves against the ship, and the vibrating buzz of the yacht's engine. "Yes. Somehow I knew you would say that." Tomoyo slipped next to me, an arm went instinctively around her waist. "A lot of things changed in the last hours. Permanent changes. That is only natural though. Everything changes, that is life."

"Does that trouble you." There were so many things implied in the question. Mainly about our past and our relationship back then. There was Sylphiel who I was pretty sure had been reborn as well. The bond between the three of us had been strong, I knew that. But Tomoyo hadn't really regained all of her memories as Amelia. Most of them were flashes, glimpses of the life we led back then. A part of me was relieved, a part of me a little saddened by that. I had no idea how she'd take the impact our past lives would eventually have on those we lived now.

And then there was Filia who was a totally different case I didn't want to go into right now or anytime soon. I was glad that the dragon priestess had offered to give Syaoran a ride back home since his own ship was lost in the storm. I was glad because just the short time we spent together after returning from the seal stirred memories and feelings inside of me that affected me emotionally to a degree where I am sure Tomoyo had noticed. I really was not ready to think about Filia right now, no definitely not.

Tomoyo had looked at me for awhile with a hard to read expression but now she leaned forward to put her head on my shoulder. Instinctively I pulled her closer, enjoying the feeling of her body against mine. Not in a physical sense, more in a way of completeness. "Not really. Not anymore. I know now, that whatever happens, we will be together."

I felt compelled to say something in return but instead I turned to draw her firmer against me, both arms coming around her body. "Always," I said with absolute conviction, glad and proud at the same time of the level of understanding and comprehension Tomoyo showed.

It was much like Tomoyo said though. Change was a constant companion in life. Life was chaotic. People who couldn't deal with change, with unpredictable situations would stagnate and miss most of the beauty that was life. We both had to accept this in the last hours. We would deal with what would come, one way or another.

A yawn made me look down at Tomoyo, comfortably snuggled in my arms, her head resting just a bit under my chin, letting me inhale the soft fragrance that amazingly had been rather untouched by the events. I couldn't help a soft chuckle. "I think we should get some sleep. We definitely earned it." Truth be told I felt ready to pop right here and there, not waking up for the next year or so. Whatever had us going for so long, had finally subsided and exhaustion began to catch up.

Tomoyo nodded, very reluctantly stepping away from me, just to reach for my hand. I grinned and let myself be dragged below deck to our cabin. Thinking could come tomorrow or next week or whenever I felt like it. Right now I felt much too spent to even begin to assess the changes in our lives experienced over the last twelve hours or so. What counted was that I was still here, everyone was still here, Tomoyo was still here. We were all alive and everything had indeed turned out to be alright.

******************************

(Filia)

I watched the boat slowly disappear from human sight and eventually from that of a dragon as well. Time was rather insignificant right now. It would be awhile until I had to go drop the boy off in China and after that… well, I wasn't sure. The shrine was gone too which left me a little sad with the though of my solitary home for a very long time not being there anymore.

That's the price for success, I suppose. The seal was restored, just as I had been told. And Earth, along with the rest of the universe, had earned itself a little breathing space.

"It won't be long now, will it?"

I didn't turn at the sudden appearance of a very familiar, in the old times often pretty annoying voice. Truth be told, I had expected him to show up a little earlier. "A couple of years, I would believe. It'll take her awhile to seek another opportunity."

The man stepped up next to me, his trademark smile in place, even though I could tell that for once he wasn't really amused and his voice showed his seriousness. "The other parties are coming along nicely. Everything will be in place when the time comes."

Sighing I turned away from the spot where I had watched the group leave in their ship, with them Lina who was now awakened. That didn't change a thing though and I knew it. Made it not much easier to accept though. "I hate playing the conductor for a war that could be avoided. We could spare them all this just by ensuring she doesn't get to them. What would be so bad about it?"

I regretted the question right away because I knew what was coming judged by the gleam in the purple-haired priest's eye. "Ah, dear Filia, that is a secret." The grin quickly turned into a stoic expression though. "One that I neither know the answer to or am especially fond of finding it out. You know as much as I that this is our path. We have our instructions and I for one will follow them to the letter."

"I hate it when you are right, Xelloss," I grumbled.

Xelloss chuckled lightly and then, without much fanfare, vanished, leaving me once again alone with my thoughts.

A couple of years, indeed. Then, THEN the REAL battle would begin. And it would be an epical one.

"Use that time well," I said quietly to the wind, then turned and walked back towards the small camp on the rocky surface of the torn mountain top.

THE END (for now)

Author's Notes

That muse makes me nuts. I had no intention of making that chapter almost as huge as all three installments before put together. I really didn't want to…

Okay, okay, I'll stop whining.

This really turned out rather different from what I had initially planned but in the end I am more or less satisfied with it. I had to rewrite the last scenes at least once but now I think the story is presentable. An apology here for the long-winded explanation in some parts while some things pretty much faded into the background. I realize that I haven't brought much attention to any of the other characters except Sakura and Tomoyo and to a degree Filia. This story was done from their perspective and there really was not much space to include others further, nor was it intended in the first place.

I realize this part has experienced an even greater touch of the crossover it is eventually leading to than I had planned for. That couldn't be done any other way though, I realized halfway through writing. This stretched the length of this part enormously but I also managed to cover much more and still not neglect thoughts and emotions in the process of action and past life revelations.

There are still a few things that are left unclear which is good, since I didn't really want to reveal too much yet. You must keep in mind that this was just a collection of prequel stories. A work an author might do AFTER writing a greater series, to explain some of the background. So, I more or less did it the other way round, at least for the CCS part. :)

Mixing the three main elements in this part had been a lot of fun and I think I managed to do a lot of setup for the actual main story. For those who interest those things. I decided to use the actual Romanji incantation of the spells I took from Slayers. There have just been too many conflicting translations that I didn't want to get into the predicament again to choose one of them. Those of you interested should easily be able to find English translations on Slayers Universe (www.inverse.org) or QP's page () from where I have the Romanji incantations.

For the names I decided to go with those I am most familiar with. Just like the spells there are so many different spellings, so I went with those that I know from my own DVDs.

This marks the end of what I now officially titled the "Forbidden Cards" series. Next will be the BSSM intro that will be part of the main story already. Look for Soul Lights – Foreshadowed Dusk on the SA board for a scene-to-scene post style or join our group. Maia really, REALLY got a hang of this and I am not sure when she gets down from it, so… This will probably be my main focus for now.

That's it so far. I thank all of you for your kind comments along the way. When I started this series at the beginning of December 2003 it hadn't been planned to take up so much time… Heck, it was a single, shorter story to begin with, but I enjoyed my first experiences in writing CCS.

I hope I'll see you soon and that you continue to provide me with feedback.

Ja ne, yours

Matthias


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